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Rated: 18+ · Book · Other · #955301
On a daily basis... things that bump around in my head and make me go... hummm!
My new blog:
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This is not just a collections of personal musing but it is a place where I can vent. Talking about daily events on the local, state, and national scene is my way of letting off steam so I don't come home and kick the dog!

We are all the Captain of our own "Ship of Fools." We go where the current of the times take us and we do what we must to be able to sleep at night. Now this Captain will speak his mind about that current and about the ocean on which we each sail.......

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PLEASE MAIL ME YOUR VOTE FOR BLOGGER OF THE MONTH OF AUGUST.

This is a shot of Me and Mel at our wedding. We were married in a simple ceremony on a deck overlooking Lake Livingston.

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I am so proud of my new Siggy which was made by the very talented vivacious . Thank you so very much for all the effort that went into this.

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This was taken from the wall in the Blogville Post Office. If you see this fugitive, please do not approach, he is armed and stupid. Contact the Blogville sheriff's office at once, then take cover!

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August 28, 2006 at 6:30pm
August 28, 2006 at 6:30pm
#451227
March 31, 2005 was a fateful day in my rather simple life. I had been a member of WDC for about a year by that time and I had made myself at home here. My portfolio was built up to almost forty short stories by then all of which had been rated and reviewed quite a few times. I was happy in this new site and my writing was going along quite well.

There was something though that had been bothering me. I kept looking at the top of the page and seeing the link for "Blogs" and each day I would look at it and wonder...."could I possibly do that?"

Finally, on the last day of March, I took the plunge and I opened up the blog page. I began reading the blogs listed there and I was immediately hooked. I had to give this medium a try!

And so it began.

I have spent the last few days looking back at those first entries. Some made me laugh, some made me cringe at my own writing style but all of them brought back memories.

I laugh now when I remember how excited I was the first time I discovered someone had commented on a blog entry I had made. Those comments were few and far between in the beginning, just like they are with all of you when you first start blogging. Upon looking back, the first thing I noticed that my first 40 or so entries rarely got over three comments each with many of them getting no comments at all. On days when I would get ten views of my blog I would break out in the "happy dance".

I noticed also, in the intervening time between the start and the finish of this blog, that my writing style changed. When I first started out writing a Blog I made the decision that I wanted to write it just as if I was doing a column for a daily newspaper and not a journal style. The thing is though, when I started I wrote in a more "folksy" style; as if I were talking to friends over lunch. I told stories. I told stories of my past, of my childhood and I wrote musings of events of the present day and almost always with humor.

It must have been about three months into the blog when I first began to do "topical" blogs and to freely express my opinions for the world to see. At the time it was fun, after all, I didn't really know many of my audience and I rarely gave much thought as to the effects my words might have on the unseen readership.

It was not until the first real argument I got into over a entry that I realized my words might hurt someone else and that is when my writing changed again. I made an effort to steer clear of the "Topical" issues of the day and I began to weigh carefully each word I wrote with an eye toward not causing harm to others.

You see I believe that is a choice everyone who blogs has to make for themselves. They have to decide whether or not they really care about the people who read their blogs. They have to decide whether or not seeing their own witty sarcasm on the page is worth any pain those words might give others. I sincerely tried to keep from doing that. So I feel that at the end, my blog had lost its edge but I had gained friends and that is a tradeoff that I would do again anytime. Friends are so much more important than being RIGHT or being WITTY.

Way back in the beginning of this blog, on the very first entry, zwisis was the first person to leave a comment, followed by Wenston and aprilbaby. I will forever be thankful for those three ladies for giving my very first entry some kind, moral support.

One milestone or accomplishment I am very proud of took place on July, 8 2005 when I finally convinced ccstring to join WDC and begin a blog. I am proud of that feat because I know that since that day many, many folks have gained smiles and laughter reading this talented man's work. CC has brought a whole new vocabulary to the WDC blog page with his slaughter of the English language. After the arrival of CC we picked up a habit we first formed almost five years ago. We would write improv comedy between the two of us and I have to tell you....It was all a blast! CC and I have always seen ourselves as a kind of Abbot and Costello with our writings and we both have fun with it.

Oh and CC....I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING BUD! YOU DID GOOD!

The second thing I am most proud of since starting my blog was my decision to create The Blogville News, my newsletter for bloggers. It started out as a weekly letter but became so time consuming that I had to move it to Monthly instead.

This thing started out as a suggestion, by myself to the Storymaster. I thought that the Blog page could use its own newsletter just like the other genres in the site. Well SM politely told me that staff was way too busy with the existing newsletters to take on another one but to feel free to do one myself.........well okay then!

Well that Newsletter has come a long way baby, as that old add use to say. With the help of a lot of talented writers it has gone from a rather crude affair decorated with HMTL emoticons and colors to a slick, very professional looking letter with its own template.

I had little to do with all of that. My VOLENTEER staff of four regular columnist and two guest columnist each week deserve all the credit and Cassie Reynolds deserves kudos for designing the wonderful template we use.

After much thought and consideration the past few days I can truthfully say that this newsletter is something else I would not change for the world and as long as it is in print it will remain as it is today....a testament to the gifted columnist and guest writers who put so much into it.

I need to give out one piece of information here, feel free to use it in a Blogville Trivia contest. The writer who coined the phrase, "Blogville" was none other that the very talented writer, Solitary Man who use to blog regularly but now only writes an entry on occasion.

So there you have it my friends. This is my blog, this is where it began and this is where it ends. Here on the 28th day of August, the final words are written. Now I know most of you expected this entry tomorrow since I had already done one today but I'm funny that way. I always hate putting off a hard task. I would rather tackle it straight away and get it done so now I am going to slip in my second entry of the day and most of you guys will find it tomorrow...LOL!

I struggled with a title for this last entry, in fact I am still struggling with it. I thought of the book which Bilbo Baggins wrote at the end of the Lord of the Rings series called "There and Back Again". I liked that title and it kinda fits my blog but heck, Tolkein thought of it first so I guess I better pass on that one.

It just hit me: Five Hundred Entries-The Last Chapter. Okay, its official, I like that one!

Now all that is left for me to do is go take a rest....Then start on the Sequel!

THE END

August 28, 2006 at 11:11am
August 28, 2006 at 11:11am
#451146
My dear wife has a way with words. By that I mean she tends to cut to the meat of any matter in a very short time and she lets me know her opinion in some funny ways sometimes. Today was no different. When I asked her opinion on stuff this morning she just smiled and lead me to this story/joke which I am about to share with you.

You know, when she's right, she's right...dang it!


**********************



An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking & the boy was riding.

The man & boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."

They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey.

The boy & man said they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal & he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you might as well...
Kiss your ass good-bye!

Have A Nice Day &
Be Careful With Your Donkey

LOL! Of course it would have been nice had she not waited until entry #499 to enlighten me in this manner.
August 27, 2006 at 5:56pm
August 27, 2006 at 5:56pm
#451005
In the history of The Blogville News there have been 17 issues. Five of those issues were written by myself instead of a guest editor...its my right, its my item in my portfolio. Eleven of those issues had DIFFERENT guest editors...one issue had neither a guest editor nor did I write an editorial.

All this information is there for anyone who wants to go and see for themselves. As for this Newsletter being the tool of a Clique...well here are just some of the other blogs I have featured in this newsletter and most of these are of people who DO NOT READ MY BLOG....

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 Musings of a shepherd.  (13+)
Some thoughts on living and working in France and conversations with my sheep!
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 Reflections  (13+)
This is where I ramble, log tidbits, and ponder.
#1131587 by letgocling

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Now I ask you, if I wanted to make this newsletter for a few close friends, would I go to the trouble of featuring these and other bloggers in the thing?

The very fist guest editor was sentimente and he was a good one...is he one of that "clique"?

As for the "Blog Wars". I hate to tell you folks but this is a form of comedy that ccstring and I have been indulging in since before either of us had ever heard of WDC. For five years we have been writing this free-form, inprov, comedy and having a ball with it. The only reason this stuff wasn't ever made into what this site calls an "interactive" is because me and CC were both to damn dumb to know how to set one up. You folks want to be upset at that well please, be my guest, get your guts in an uproar if it makes you feel better.

In going back over the very first edition of the newsletter I ran across this thing I wrote when I was trying to sum up what I wanted the Newsletter to be and what I envisioned for it's future:

ABOUT FUTURE ISSUES.

When I decided to do this newsletter I discussed it with many of my good friends here on WDC and asked their help and advice. Even though this appears in my portfolio, I don’t want it to be about me or my writing and I don’t want it to always reflect only my own opinion on how a blog should be done. Neither do I want it to only reflect my personal beliefs. So each week I will enlist the aid of a different member, here at WDC, a different blogger, to write that weeks article. I hope in this way to include everyone here in the blog community and have something of interest to everyone. I want to also take this opportunity to thank ~Wind in my Wings~ 
and Scarlett for their very generous donations of GPs which will go toward future contest.

So my friends, the adventure begins. I hope you will join me here each week and I hope you will enjoy this little newsletter. I look forward to hearing from each of you personally. E-mail me and let me know what you think and what you would like to see here in our page.....ENJOY THE RIDE.


Does that sound to you like something evil or exclusionary?

The bottom line here is the damn thing is in my Portfolio, it is my ITEM, I am soley responsible for the content. If you don't like it, if you think it is somehow a bad thing, then for God's sake stay out of it. Don't read it. In its present format I have four regular columnist, one column which has a guest writer each month and a featured writer. I have sit up nights trying to figure out how to include even more folks but this is the best I could come up with.

Whatever I decide to do with it in the future will be completely my decision and mine alone. If any of you have a gripe about how its done, please come to me and don't blame people who have no control over it.

This is the very last word of any kind I will speak on this subject so rant all you want and say whatever you please in your own blog but if you want me to hear what you're saying....have the decency to email me, cause that's the only way I will see it from now on.


August 26, 2006 at 2:10pm
August 26, 2006 at 2:10pm
#450762
Last night I went to a sleep-over. Sounds like fun, uh? Well not at my age and this was definately not a party situation. Nope, no party, this was all for the sake of Medical Science.

About seven thirty last night I was required to present myself to a dang Sleep Clinic in order to be tested for Sleep Apnea. This involved spending the night in a strange bed, in a strange place while being hooked up to more wires than are required to light a small city.

The whole experience started out pleasant enough. I arrived a few minutes early for my appointment and spent some time visiting with the tech who was to administer the test and filling out reams of paperwork.

Finally, all was done and Mark, the tech told me to head into the "bedroom", get ready for bed and he would be there in a moment to attach the wires.

Okay, I admit it...it was my fault for being surprised. I envisioned a few wires and leads, something like an EKG test maybe. What I got was something all together DIFFERENT. To get a picture of what was entailed think about the movie: Coma. Remember that scene of all those bodies suspended from the ceiling by wires with hundreds of wires snaking from their bodies.....THAT IS WHAT I FELT LIKE.

Mark started at the top of my head, connecting wires; at least seven on the head and face alone. There was another dozen or so on my throat, neck, and chest. Then just when I thought he couldn't find another place to attach a wire, he dropped down and put two more on each leg. I felt moved to inform Mark that since there was only one place on the front of my body lacking wires, he should seriously consider NOT GOING THERE!

All the wires led off my body and connected into a box then the box was plugged into one very thick line. This line fed directly into a computer....I was wired for the internet! finally I had become one with the magic box! I suddenly had the irrational thought that I would be left like this...forever hooked to some kind of medical DSL!

Thankfully this panic attack didn't last long and Mark told me to get into bed.

(BLINK BLINK)

Get into bed? lay down while all these wires are attached and not strangle myself?

Well I managed to get into bed and lay in a prone position without damaging myself. Mark gave me a cheerful "thumbs up" and told me: "Now just relax and get some sleep".

(BLINK BLINK)

SLEEP?

How was I supposed to sleep when I couldn't move six inchs in any direction without wires pulling me back?

To make it worse, ten minutes after I was in the bed I had the urge to Pee!

OH GOOD LORD!

Well since doing that particular act would have meant being unhooked from the main computer wire then shuffling into the bathroom while holding the box in one hand and having wires trailing all over my body...I decided to just hold it.

Between 9pm and 4am I think I woke up six or seven times. Finally at 4am I hit the call button and asked Mark if he had enough data yet.

He cheerfully replied that, yes indeed, he had enough to finish the test.

"GOOD!" I yelled at him. "NOW COME GET ME OUT OF THIS BED SO I CAN PEE AND GO HOME!"

Well Mark rushed in the room and unhooked me from the main cable and I went shuffling off to the bathroom, holding the box with all the wires still attached to my body.

As I stood there over the toilet, doing my business and trying to miss all the wires hanging off me, I wondered briefly what would happen if one of those wires had a bad spot in it and got "wet". I could just see me lighting up like a neon sign over a bar.....

I finally made it home about five this morning and I feel like I haven't been to bed...I'm wasted. On the bright side, now my doctor will be able to discover to what extent I have sleep issues...

OF COURSE I GOT SLEEP ISSUES...HE HOOKED UP TO A DAMN COMPUTER! I MAY NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!!
August 25, 2006 at 3:54pm
August 25, 2006 at 3:54pm
#450591
Have you ever had a dream? No, I don't mean those mental movies that come to you in your sleep, I mean a yearning for something that has been out of reach...a dream.

For some years now I have dreamed of seeing Texas in my rear-view mirror. This particular dream is at its strongest every summer...go figure!

The thought of spending a summer in a climate a bit more hospitable than the surface of the sun seems to consume my waking hours. I spend my days at work daydreaming of cool mountain streams, of laying in a idyllic meadow filled with flowers while my body is caressed by gentle breeze and a mild sun.

Colorado most often is my dream destination when I think of escape and more often of late Montana has also made the short list of places I would rather be than here.

My trouble comes when mean old Mr. Reality rears his ugly head and proceeds to inudate my brain with common sense arguments against making such a move.

The very first thing that seeps into my heat-tortured, sweat-drained brain is the fact that if I move to one of these wonderful states that I will not only escape the heat of the Texas summer, but I will put myself at the mercy of something called WINTER.

Now I have heard rumor of this strange weather phenomonon but I have never actually experienced it. Some will tell you that during this thing called winter you may actually experience tempertures as low as -20 degrees....I find this hard to believe myself. That's kind of like hearing someone report they have spotted an honest politician....might as well say you met Santa Claus.

Yes, so having escaped summer I must then suffer this so-called "Winter". What would it be like to step out of the house and into sub-zero air and snow drifts deep enough to hide a car in?

I take comfort in the knowledge that I will never know what that is like. If I ever find myself living is such a place it will only be when I have found a job I can do from the comfort of my own home.

That's right, me and the bear would go into hiding in the fall and not come out again until the spring. As much as I hate summers here in Texas, the thought of becoming a six foot tall ice cycle is even more disturbing.

Maybe my best bet is to one day get to the point in my life when I can migrate north in the summer and south in the winter. Maybe that is the best I can ever hope for, who knows. Until that time comes I guess I will remain a citizen of the only place on Earth where the Devil comes to work on his tan.
August 24, 2006 at 7:26pm
August 24, 2006 at 7:26pm
#450409
Ladies and Gentlemen there will be no blog entry today. Instead I would like to draw your attention to The Blogville Weekly News. "Invalid Entry is now ready for your reading enjoyment.

Please tell your blogger friends, get the word out, this thing is ready to read and it is for ALL bloggers not just those who read my blog. I really want as many bloggers as possible to read the newsletter and participate...the newsletter is for all of you. Please feel free to use {Entry : 450407} to link your friends. You all have readers that never come in here and see this, so spread the word!
August 23, 2006 at 6:52pm
August 23, 2006 at 6:52pm
#450162
I reconnected with an old friend today. Donnis Baggett and I go way back, all the way back to school days. Of course Baggett was behind me a few grades and was closer to my little brother. Donnis hung out with all the smart kids while my brother hung out with the other delinquent Neanderthals who struggled to pass shop class.

After graduation and college Donnis came back home and was the star reporter for the East Texas Eye. This local newspaper was in cut-throat compition with The Polk County Enterprise which was the "other" news source for the county at the time. The Editorial pages of these papers hurled insults at one another on a weekly basis and were bitter enemies. I still remember rushing to a fire with Donnis, trying to scoop the Enterprise on the story...Gawd those were the days!

Of course I wasn't employed by the paper, I was never smart enough for that. I just hung out with Baggett for the pure joy of watching a newspaper man work.

Anyway, Livingston was too small to hold my buddy and soon enough he went on to bigger and better newspaper jobs. But, no matter what newspaper he was working at, we always kept in touch, either by phone or by letter (do you guys remember letters?).

Baggett was, at one time an editor for one of the largest papers in Texas, The Dallas Morning News...I'm talking, he was a big cheese in da state and I was so very proud of my buddy.

From Dallas, Baggett went to Bryan/College Station, the home of Texas A & M where he became the PUBLISHER of the newspaper there: The Eagle. He is there today and that is where I found my buddy once again.

The thing that amazed me was that when he answered the phone it was as if no time had passed...we went right into slamming each other as if we had just talked the day before and not like four years ago. If you folks think me and CC go at each other hard well I gotta tell you, it's nothing compared to the way me and Baggett fence words and insults. Within minutes of getting him on the phone, we were both laughing like wild men and calling each other some of the old names.

From time to time, in his illustrious newspaper career, Donnis would write a column. Well sometimes he would use my letters to him as fodder for his columns and that is were Mac the Masher and Mongo were born.

Bags and I started using these two characters, based on myself and my brother in letters we would send back and forth...they were a riot. I really wish I could get my hands on some of that old stuff...it was seriously funny.

It was so good to hear my friend's voice once more and to find out that he is still doing well and is still a major player in the newspaper game. I made a promise to myself, after hanging up the phone: Friends are too precious to allow one to slip away because of time and distance. I plan on keeping in touch with my buddy.

Who knows, maybe we can restart some of our practical joke wars. I'm sure Mongo would love to hear that, since he was the butt of most of those things.

So that was the highlight of my day today. An old friend, revisited and memories brought back....a damn fine day, all in all and I am glad I could share it here with my other friends.

August 22, 2006 at 6:17pm
August 22, 2006 at 6:17pm
#449923
Off subject: I just want to say a special "Thank you" to all the folks who commented to my last blog entry. This was truly a time when the comments were better than the blog. Your combined comments have given me an idea for another entry which I will post tomorrow...thank you all for being so dang smart and especially for reading my little blog.

*****************


Okay, now for my blog entry today. First things first: IF THERE ARE ANY CHILDREN READING THIS, PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!

This blog entry is a bit on the "adult" side and I don't want to offend any unsuspecting kids out there.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, my entry.

Well it seems that I recieved an email the other day from one of my pervert buddies who is constantly sending me stuff and I almost fell out of my chair laughing at this one. So, I have decided to share it with all of you...please don't throw things at me, I'm not the author, I'm just passing the funnies along to all my friends. *Bigsmile*

In Pharmacology, all drugs have a trade name and a generic name. For example,the trade name of TYLENOL has the generic name of ACETAMINOPHEN. ALEVE is called NAPROXEN, AMOXIL is called AMOXICILLIN and ADVIL is called IBUPROFEN.

The FDA is now looking into a generic name for VIAGRA. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, they recently anounced that they have settled on the generic name of: MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Also considered were; MYCOXAFALLIN, MYDIXADRUPIN,MYDIXARIZIN, DIX-a-FIX, and of course...IBEPOKIN.

PFIZER corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and marketed by Pepsi-Cola as a power beverage suitable for a mixer. It will soon be possible for a man to literally pour himself a "stiff one" and it gives a whole new meaning to the terms: "COCKTAILS" AND "HIGHBALLS". Pepsi will market the new concoction under the name, "MOUNT & DO".


The thought for today: There is more money being spent on breast implants and viagra than on finding the cure for ALZHEIMERS. This means that by the year 2040 there should be a large population of elderly folks with big boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them!

August 21, 2006 at 7:05pm
August 21, 2006 at 7:05pm
#449701
The other night I watched a promo for a new show on one of the networks. "Friday Night Lights" is going to be a weekly series based on the movie by the same name. This is the story of Football in smalltown, Texas.

Now it is no exaggeration when I say that, in Texas, High School Football is King. This is especially true in smaller towns. It is not uncommon, on a friday night in the fall, to see a town completely shut down an hour before the big game and even earlier if it is a road game and the team has to travel. The entire town turns up at the field to root on their teenage heros.

It is a curious fact that a young man can excel in the game, be a hometown hero and never do another thing in his entire life, never amount to anything and he is still and forever a God to those folks who watched him score touchdowns in high school.

I never had a chance. One might say I was predestined through genetics to play football. The sport never was that big a deal with me but that didn't matter....The entire town of Livingston KNEW I would play...so I played the game.

You see, my father was one of those gridiron heros of Livingston lore. He played offence and defencive end. He scored more touchdowns than anyone before him and quite a few after him, he played in the very first High School All-Star Game played in the state of Texas and he caught the winning touchdown pass in that game too.

He went on to play two years at the University of Rice, in Houston before walking away from the game. In Livingston, the man was a God. From a very early age I can remember not being able to go to town without some old-timer stopping to shake dad's hand and tell me that as soon as I got old enough I too would be a great football player.

I never had a chance.

So, when I entered high school I had no choice...I went out for the freshman football team. Oh don't get me wrong...I did have a choice, I just didn't feel like moving out of state had I not played the game. Now Dad never pushed me about playing, in fact he was a bit embarassed by all the hoopla over a simple kid's game, as he called it. But the pressure was there nontheless.

The trouble was, I was not built to play end like my father. He was small, fast and had sure hands. I was big, slow and couldn't catch a football with a basket.

At 6'tall and 190 pounds I was one of the largest guys on the team. You have to remember, this was the '60s and today even the waterboy is bigger than that. But back then I was the perfect build for a lineman.

I tried to convince the coach to let me play tackle but he wouldn't listen. "By God your daddy carried this team to a championship 25 years ago and you can be just as good."

Fine.

First game. He lined me up as a split-end. The safty, on the other team took one look at this huge, lumbering yokel and he actually laughed...that pissed me off. I might not be a reciever but by gosh I wasn't gonna let this turkey laugh at me.

The center snapped the ball, I fired off the line with the blinding speed of a crippled slug and the defensive safty came up and fairly DANCED around me, he was so fast. The Quarterback dropped back, saw me lumbering down the field and even though the defensive man was right on top of me, he fired the football downfield in a graceful arc, right at me!

Everything seemed to slow down into slow-motion. I saw the ball floating in the air, heading toward me, I looked forward and saw the grinning defensive man just a step ahead of me....and I knew what I had to do.....

I lunged ahead in a real burst of actual speed, caught up to the defensive man and hit him as hard as I could, knocking him flat on his very surprised arse.

Now, nothing was between me and the goal...maybe that coach knew what he was talking about....all I had to do was catch the ball and I could WALK into the endzone.

The ball floated downward, right on target, into my outstretched hands....it bounced off my hands, hit me in the head and rolled harmlessly across the field.

I never had a chance...I TOLD EM!

Needless to say, the very next series of plays I was put in the position of Tackle and there I stayed for the remainder of my lackluster football career. Oh there was a few other "mishaps" in the next three years but all in all I managed to survive, even if I never managed to fulfill the expections of all those folks who had watched my dad play.

I do remember the one bright spot of that game though and it stuck with me my entire life. After the game, which we lost by the way, my dad was waiting for me outside the dressing room. He took one look at my downcast face and he laughed.

"Don't worry about it boy," he said. "Just do the best you can, no matter what the game and you will never have anything to be ashamed of. Do the same thing in life and you will be a good man...that's what's important".

I never forgot that. Winning never again meant as much to me as doing my best....I have dad to thank for that and so much else.
August 20, 2006 at 5:07pm
August 20, 2006 at 5:07pm
#449450
Off subject: I just want to take a moment to tell everyone who comes in here what a great guy CC is. Wonderful man, salt of the earth, great and talented writer....there are not enough adjectives in the world to describe what a grand man he is.


**********************


Now that, my friends is how to use, what the buckethead, ccstringrefers to as "Blog Peekers". See when he drags his cursor over that he will get all warm and fuzzy and start blushing and stuff at all those nice things I said about him. He will then hurry and click on the blog to see what OTHER nice things I said about him....WON'T HE BE SURPRISED!

What I really wanted to tell you is....CC, the pickled-brained peckerhead is actually the original poster boy for BIRTH CONTROL! I will hand it to him though, he is never at a lose for catchy names for things..."Blog Peeker"....that was classic and I am sure it will now work its way into all our blog entries in one form or another.

*********************


Now to show you that I am an equal opportunity insulter, I would like to move off the subject of the buckethead and on to one even closer to my heart...ME!

Main Entry: 1stu·pid
Pronunciation: 'stü-p&d, 'styü-
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle French stupide, from Latin stupidus, from stupEre to be numb, be astonished -- more at TYPE
1 a : slow of mind : OBTUSE b : given to unintelligent decisions or acts : acting in an unintelligent or careless manner c : lacking intelligence or reason : BRUTISH
2 : dulled in feeling or sensation : TORPID <still stupid from the sedative>
3 : marked by or resulting from unreasoned thinking or acting : SENSELESS <a stupid decision>
4 a : lacking interest or point <a stupid event> b : VEXATIOUS, EXASPERATING <the stupid car won't start>


Yes, my friends, stupid is the word of the day in this blog. If you take the time to look this word up you will also find an 8X10 photograph of me next to the defination.

I freely admit it...I am stupid. Oh I manage to make it through a normal day without embarassing myself too much but it doesn't change the fact....I AM DUMBER THAN DIRT!

Let me fill you in on the sad event that brought this fact home to me in a big way.

As a few of you might have noticed, I did not do a blog yesterday (stop that cheering!). Why, you may have asked, did Tor not blog?

Well that's easy, I spent the entire day getting all my ducks in a row (figure of speech, calm down Scarlett)in order to send my book of short stories off to Lulu.

I clicked onto Lulu and started to do the step by step instructions....what could be easier...I figured in an hour or so I should have my book off and ready to go to press. HA!

I rean into trouble at the very start. Everytime I would send my book to them, then preview what I had sent, I would find the format all screwed up: Pages were out of line, text was screwed up...IT WAS A MESS.

Well I spent a few hours trying to make changes that would correct the stuff but everytime I made changes...IT GOT WORSE. Finally, in desperation, I shot Voxxylady a S.O.S. in the form of an e-mail in which I screamed: "HELP ME!!!!"

Now L.K. being the kind hearted lady she is, got right back to me with detailed instructions on how to send my book as a PDF.

(BLINK,BLINK) okay, so I stole that from Buckethead.

Now I had no idea what a PDF was or even what those letters stood for, but what the hell, if it meant getting my book to the publisher, I was game.

So back I went to Lulu to do what L.K. told me to do only to find out that I needed to download "Adobe Reader" in order to send a damn PDF.

OKAY...I CAN DO THAT TOO.

So I downloaded the program...well that took a few more hours as I fumbled my way through that maze. Then I made a PDF...THEN......

I get this little message along with a evil sounding noise: "INTERNAL ERROR HAS OCCOURED".

Followed closely by: "ADOBE READER CAN NOT BE FOUND"

Followed by: "You are too stupid to live, step away from the computer".

By this time it was nearing 10pm and I was wiped out. I went to bed, a beaten man. As I lay in bed, wimpering from my badly battered and bruised ego, I began to think about this fiasco.....

What if Lulu had done this on purpose. What if they had a built-in "Stupid Filter" which automatically kept idiots like me from ever getting published...I mean this might be their version of a Rejection Letter.

That's when it hit me...I AM JUST TO DAMN STUPID TO EVER BE PUBLISHED! Online publishers all over the web have probably got my name and picture up in their offices with the warning to kick in the stupid filter if I ever send anything to any of them.

Maybe I am fated to only put my stories here on WDC where, if any unsuspecting reader happens across them, at least they won't have to suffer the embarassment of actually having to pay to read the drivel.

A note here...If anyone knows of a way to bypass or hack into Lulu's system and disable their "Stupid Filter" please drop me an email and fill me in....NOT THAT I COULD EVER DO IT! STUPID!

*********************


I would like to take this opportunity to thank Barbs for the lovely "funny" merit badge...wait that did't sound right. It was a Merit badge for "funny", meaning I was funny...well not FUNNY, funny, but HA HA funny....I think....Aw, hell, I told you...I'm STUPLID!
August 18, 2006 at 8:25pm
August 18, 2006 at 8:25pm
#449070



Did you ever have one of those days? You know what I mean...a day in which all the stars and planets align to assure your success. A day when you get to rub the noses on managment in the mud just a bit...and get away with it.

Last week I had one of those days.

This will take just a bit of setting up so let me give you some of the "back story".

Seems that about two months ago our regional manager and his wife were out shopping. Well of course he wasn't accompanied by his "posse" of underlings and corporate groupies...just him and the missus out for a day of retail gluttony.

And so it came to pass that the grand Poo-Baa of the region ventured into a store in the Dallas area and, horror of horrors, he was not greeted at the door in a fashion befitting a Wal-Mart customer. Can you imagine his shock when the People greeter failed to welcome him, personally into the friendly confines of the store and thank him for his patronage.

Of course, in his moral outrage over this slight, the Regional manager caused heads to roll! People actually lost their jobs over it. Well after the dust settled and a new asst. manager was hired for that store, not to mention a new people greeter, the word went out.

Mr. Regional manager sent a memo to all his stores stating that he would be sending a "representative" around to all the stores in his region....all of Texas and two other states...to check up on how well the people greeters are doing their jobs....AND HEADS WOULD ROLL AGAIN!!

This began a large scale panic among the managment of all the stores...they double checked all their door greeters to make sure they knew their jobs. At our own store the Asst. Manager in charge of the front end would come up to me on a daily basis and remind me to smile and greet the customers. She did this so much I finally asked her:

"Have you ever seen me NOT do this?"

"No".

"Have you ever seen me NOT do my job?"

"No."

"Then why not LET me do my job".

You can imagine, I am not her favorite associate.

This brings us up to this past Tuesday. I was at the door,as usual, when word comes to the store that Mr. Regional himself is visiting a store in a town just 30 miles from us!

My God, the entire Management team went beserk....think Keystone Cops on Crack. They were running around like chickens with their heads cut off, shouting orders, screaming for displays to be changed....and of course...DOUBLE CHECKING THE PEOPLE GREETERS!

It was just about the funniest thing I have ever seen. Then they got a call saying the Regional had left that store and COULD be headed our way.

Management did everything but string concertina wire and dig foxholes! I swear a couple of them were hyperventilating.

Now at our store we all know what Mr. Regional looks like so that wasn't going to be a problem but I firmly believed he wouldn't even come in . I figured the sneaky bastard would send in one of his toadys through the door to test us, probably the same moron who had been criss-crossing the region checking other stores.

Sure enough, about an hour after the last phone call, I look up and I see this guy walk through the outer doors and he stuck out like a sore thumb. I mean, the guy looked like he had a full set of teeth, his pants and shirt looked as if they cost as much as I budgeted for christmas gifts last year and he was sporting a $50 haircut...THIS BUBBA WAS NOT FROM AROUND HERE!!

He should have just as well wore a sign around his neck saying: Hi, I'm a Corporate Toad.

Well it just so happens, as he entered the outter set of doors, my alarm went off. I had to follow a customer into the foyer and check his bag for an item that had not been deactivated. As I brought the customer back into the store we were laughing and discussing what could have set the door off and I was checking his recipt just as the Toad walked through the inner doors and into the store.

I calmly looked up and smiled: "Good Afternoon, sir. Welcome to Wal-mart". I then handed the first customer back his reciept telling him I had found the item and bid him good bye and come again. I then turned back to Mr. Toad and swung an empty cart within his reach and said...
"Here you are sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Well Mr. Toad beamed brightly and took the cart then headed into the store. Within about ten minutes I see him walking the main isle with our entire management team in tow...he was talking...they were nodding their heads like one of those toy dogs in the back window of a 57 chevy.

Nothing else was said that day. The next day I worked the late shift and when I came into the store some of the other assocates told me that I had made a big impression on the "visitor". I replied that that was nice and went on to work.

Finally, toward the end of the day that asst. Manager who doesn't like my attitude came up and gruffly pushed a "goodjob" pin into my hand.

"What's this for", I asked her, acting dumb.

"Well the Regional's asst. came into the store yesterday and he told us that he had never seen a more courteous, hard working and knowledgeable people greeter in the months he had been doing those inspections."

I could hear her teeth grinding as she said this..oh that was sweet. So there she was, standing there trying to smile while giving me an award for my good job...life is sometimes so very sweet.

So of course, me being the nice guy I am I ask her:

"You mean I did a good job?"

"Yes," she replied a bit sharply. "That's what I just said."

" I know", I told her. "I just love hearing you say it!"

Don't you just love days like that?
August 17, 2006 at 11:33pm
August 17, 2006 at 11:33pm
#448864
Right off the top tonight I would just like to say that this entry was brought about, for the most part, by a blog done by pensivetoday. So, I would like to give Pensive the credit (or blame) for what I write now.

The longer you do a blog, the harder it gets. Funny isn't it, I figured it would be just the other way around, that by now we should just sit down and the words flow....that's not the case.

I have 488 entries not counting this one and I swear, if the last twelve are as hard as the past twenty, I'm not sure I will make it to five hundred without a severe meltdown.

Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out WHY it gets harder and I'm not sure if I have any answers that can be carved in stone...just my opinions and after all, isn't that what blogs are?

1. Doing a Blog is a bit like courtship and marriage. Get your minds outta the gutter! What I mean is...remember when you and your spouse first met, remember that "getting to know you" stage? You two would sit and talk for hours...if you were lucky. The stories you told him/her seemed endless as the stories they told you....all dealing with the past, how you felt about things, your likes and dislikes. During this "courtship" you laid your feelings bare for another person. They got to know you and you wanted to tell them everything so the telling was easy.

There comes a time, though, usually after the marriage, when the other person has heard all your stories; they know you inside and out....as you know them. It is then that the sharing becomes a little harder....I mean how many times do you tell her/him about your school prom? The same with doing a blog, after three or four hundred entries you start struggling to find a topic you haven't discussed already.

2. These are my friends, I can't hurt their feelings. Now you have been blogging quite awhile and your wellspring of personal stories...those of interesting to anyone other than your mother...has begun to dry up. You then turn to topical material. The news, current events are great topics for blogs. Unfortunately, when you blog for any length of time you develop friendships. There are people who read your blog everyday, who comment everyday to your entries and if you dive into the muddy waters of the topical you run a great risk of hurting the feelings of these friends who have been loyal readers. You don't want to go there! All of us live with a certain amount of fear that our words might hurt someone we have come to care for....so we steer clear of that.

3. Guilt sooner or later catchs up to us all. Yes, guilt, I think we have a little Jewish mother who lives inside us and riddles our soul with guilt from time to time. Guilt that we are not actively pursuing what we came to this site to do...write to publish. There are very few of us who have not sit in front of the computer at one time or another for two or three hours only to come away feeling a bit guilty because in all that time we only managed to read and comment to our favorite bloggers and write our own blog.....nothing else. Every one of us, myself included, at one time or another wants to back away from blogging and seriously get back to what we came here for in the first place...our stories and poems. It is only natural after a period of time.

4. We hit the wall Most of you know by now that one of the best bloggers on this site, partyof5dj has this problem. Now Party, if you read this, don't get mad at me but I have to say it... I truly belive that "the Wall" we all hit from time to time is really that little voice we all carry around in our heads that says things like:

"What the heck are you doing, you're no writer, Hemingway, Mitchner, King...those guys are writers, you are just fooling yourself."

"You know the only reason they read your stuff is because they are your friends. If a complete stranger picked up something your wrote, do you think they would read it?"

That little voice of doubt is in us all and no amount of friends telling us it is nonsense is going to silence the doubting voice. Even famous writers have that voice inside them...telling them: "So what have you done lately?"

5. Fear, pure and simple Fear of losing our readership, fear of hurting someone feelings, fear of failure, fear of not pursuing other writings that are important to us....FEAR THAT WE WILL NEVER BE ALL WE YEARN TO BE. All or any one of those fears cause us to pull back from blogging as regularily.

As for partyof5djWell I am certain, in my heart of hearts, that this man could make a living with his words, could be a columnist, paid for his writings if he ever gets over the fear and tears down his own particular wall. There are others of you out there who are just as good and could do just as much.

There is my list of 5 to try and answer pensive's question as to why so many seem to be pulling back from blogging. I hope this has answered that question.....some of us may pull back but return later, some will pull back and move on to other writing and never return. Whatever it happens to be just rest assured it is just in the natural order of things and there are new bloggers every day who are jst starting out in Blogville. Lets make sure we lift them up as they begin this long journey in a venue that is close to all our hearts.

To my readers and to those who comment....my heartfelt thanks for sticking with me this far. For those who have gone away, for what ever reason....you are still in my heart and in my prayers...all of you are why I write.

August 15, 2006 at 6:07pm
August 15, 2006 at 6:07pm
#448234
Off subject: Time is running out to send in your vote for Blogger of the Month and we still need more of a turnout. On a personal note, a couple of weeks ago I wondered if I could reach the 25,000 mark before the end of this blog. Well that milestone has been reached...views are at 25,179 and there is now 12 entries to go.

**********************


I am now well into the "lifestyle changes" which my personal witch doctor has recommended for me. During this process I have found a few truths to be, as they say, self-evident.

I now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, why bears are so dang mean and tend to maul humans, not to mention, eat them at every opportunity. You can't blame the bear. Those poor sots are reduced to fishing in rivers during the salmon run....THEY HAVE TO EAT SALMON!

This fact answers a lot of questions for me because the other night, for the first time in my life...I ATE SALMON!

This fish has to be the sorriest tasting meat ever foisted off on the human race as editable! I personally believe that I could have gotten a better taste in my mouth by licking the inside of a sewer pipe during a high usage time.

Can you blame the bear for being testy...he has to set with his arse in cold rivers and grab these slimy creatures as they make their way upstream to spawn.

It is my firm belief that Salmon should be served at GIT-MO, to all those POWs....yeah, I know its cruel and unusual punishment, but damnit, they deserve every nasty mouthfull!

Now its not like I don't enjoy fish...I do...I eat REAL fish. If you slap a platter of deep fried catfish fillets down in front of me I will make those suckers disappear faster than David Copperfield on stage in Vegas!

POOF!

That is fish. Hell, even the Salmon's meat ain't right...it's RED...CRAP! If I had my way, every dang Salmon in the world would die of nothing worse than old age and I bet, if you asked them, the dang bears would be in total agreement.

Okay, while we're on the subject of diet, I also have breakfast issues.

I am no longer allowed my two fried eggs, slab of bacon and three sausage patties...no, not me. I get to enjoy the thrill of "healthy" cereal, topped with skim milk and if I'm really a good boy, just a touch of ARTIFICAL SWEETNER!

Have any of you ever tried to eat "healthy" cereal? Well if you haven't, you should. Once you have tried it you will never again wonder what happens to all the bark on those trees they mill every day for lumber.

IT'S BOUGHT BY KELLOGS, and POST and made into "HEALTHY" cereal! I seriously have found myself hoping that they had not inspected the bark too closely before making it into cereal and maybe letting a few weevels and bugs slip through and into the load...at least that way I could get something with some nutrional value!

Oh and will someone please tell me what part of the damn TURKEY they get bacon from? I have seen many turkeys and I have never seen anything that could pass as bacon on em!

I may have to write more about this crap later, rignt now it is dinner time and I am getting a chef's salad. I may just opt to take the bottle of low-fat, low-taste, salad dressing and pour it on the front yard then eat THAT! Dang grass needs mowing anyway!

Did I mention, in my last blog that I might be a bit cranky while on this diet? WELL I DIDN'T LIE!
August 14, 2006 at 5:31pm
August 14, 2006 at 5:31pm
#447960
Another blogger, who shall remain nameless but whose intials are gypsy4evermore mentioned, in her blog yesterday about being in the doldrums. That word stuck with me today and I gave it some thought. I even looked it up in Webster's online dictionary.

dol·drums
Pronunciation: 'dOl-dr&mz, 'däl-, 'dol-
Function: noun plural
Etymology: probably akin to Old English dol foolish
1 :a spell of listlessness or despondency
2 often capitalized : a part of the ocean near the equator abounding in calms, squalls, and light shifting winds
3 : a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or slump

Defination 1 and 3 is pretty much what I was thinking about. This, after all is the dog days of summer and definately a time for the doldrums to be striking many of us.

In my own case it is a combination of causes which have brought about this particular feeling of listlessness or stagnation. First of all, this blog is winding down, only 13 more entries to go and I am finding it difficult to come up with subjects that would seem even remotely interesting.

Secondly, I miss some of our regulars. I miss their blog entries which always made me think or laugh and fed me with subject matter of my own. One of those I miss is zwisis. God, I miss those in-depth and informative entries that showed the rest of us parts of the world and the world situation which we were never aware of. I miss my buddy, PlannerDan who as you all know, has been laid low with phyical issues and is recuperating at home from heart surgery. I miss Cassie Reynolds who has not made an entry in over a week. She was dealing with the illness of her husband at the time of her last entry and I have heard nothing else from her...I am worried about both of them. Now my big sister, Nada has expressed a need for a break...what am I gonna do without her comments and her funny blog entries?

These folks I have listed are among the finest writers on this site and their absence, even for a little while brings us all down a bit. So, yeah, I got those dang doldrum things. I wish the weather would cool down enough so that my tennis shoes wouldn't melt to the pavement when I leave work. I wish all these bloggers I have listed would come back....OKAY, I GOTTA STOP CAUSE I'M STARTING TO SOUND LIKE EYORE!

On a different note, it saddens me to no end (YEAH, RIGHT) to tell you that a new wanted poster was put up today in the Blogville Post Office. Yes, my little buddy CC has finally gone too far and stepped over the line...he is a wanted man now! You can imagine my shock when I stopped off at the post office today and saw this hanging from the wall.......

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Then, after I got home I saw a story on CCNN about how CC was now a wanted fugitive being hunted by the combined law-enforcment agencies across America. The Texas Rangers are working with the Maryland State police to apprehend this felon, wanted for inciting Blog Wars.
Somebody (I have no idea who *Bigsmile*)even got Homeland Security involved by starting the rumor that CC had converted to the Muslim faith and was given the name: Osama Bin Stupid!

In the report on CCNN it was mentioned that the authorities had staked out a local wildlife refuge close to CC's house in the hopes they could catch him when he shows up there looking for a date.

I will, of course, keep all of you abreast of breaking news on this subject. I may even get Party to do a report from the scene of the manhunt...who knows.

You know what...suddenly the Doldrums seem to have loosened its hold on me. Things just might get a bit interesting after all!
August 13, 2006 at 6:38pm
August 13, 2006 at 6:38pm
#447741
"Lifesyle changes"....DON'T YOU JUST HATE THAT TERM!

After my last visit to the local witch doctor, this term has become a fact of life to me, unfortunately.

I have been told, in no uncertain terms by this snot-nosed kid who is passing himself off as a doctor that I have got to have some "Lifestyle changes"!

YEAH, RIGHT!

The law has been laid down to me and more importantly, passed on to my personal sheriff, Mel.

1. No more fried foods.

2. No more sugar.

3. No more bread

4. MORE veggies

5. MORE fish and chicken...baked and broiled.

Okay, will someone just shoot me now. How can a man live without a big chunk of greasy, fried meat for dinner?

He also said: No alchohol, which is no great deal for me since I rarely drink more than the occasional beer. But, he also had the gall to tell me NO SMOKING!

Does this turkey think I'm just gonna throw away a beloved crutch which I have relied upon for the last thirty years?

All I can say is...if I have to give up my smokes....someone's gonna die! There is no way I can face a day of Wal-Mart inspired madness without my drug of choice, Marlboro and not do bodily harm to some idiot.

And what about writing? I mean, hell, how can I ever hope to sit here at the computer and pound out anything that makes even the slightest sense without my ciggy hanging from my lips....HEMINGWAY never gave up his stoogies, why do I have to?

So there it is...Give up smoking, give up the rare liquid beverage, lose thirty pounds. Who do they think I am... Superman?

I got 14 more blog entries to go and if I have to stick to these dang "Lifestyle changes", those entries are gonna be very foul tempered, I can tell you that right now.

Well, I guess I better close this, Mel just yelled to say that dinner was ready. Yummy, baked fish, rice, brocoli served with a chilled glass of water...AND NO BREAD!

I would prefer to just chew a cardboard box, if it's all the same to you.
August 12, 2006 at 2:12pm
August 12, 2006 at 2:12pm
#447494
Just when I think I have nothing to write about, just after I make a "nothing" entry just to have a blue day, something comes up and BAM! The light bulb lights up and I suddenly have a subject.

A few minutes after I hit "send" and submitted my last entry I received an email from a fellow blogger. This very popular blogger mentioned being "burned out" and just unable to find anything to write about.

Folks, this is not an unusual problem. Writers in general and Bloggers in particular are, sooner or later, struck with Burn-out. If it hasn't happened to you yet, well just hang around, it will happen sooner or later.

Time is different online than in real life. A year or a year and a half of doing something online is a long time. I am not sure what causes this phenomenon, but I have rarely seen anyone stick to doing one thing online for much over a year without having to back away from it for awhile.

It is not just online that people suffer Burn-Out. People who write columns for magazines and newspapers face the same dilemma. Sooner or later they just run out of ideas and their columns begin to be more a chore than a pleasure to write. Deadlines become something to dread and try to avoid. In short, the writing becomes merely a job and we all know those are no fun at all.

Even successful fiction writers are not immune to Burn-Out. Many times a person will gain success with a certain genre and publish three or four bestsellers, then they drop out of sight. Usually the reason they disappear is because they just run dry of ideas in that particular genre. Nothing sounds fresh or interesting to them anymore. Sometimes they will try to keep going and write something anyway and usually their effort falls far short of what they had done in the past because their heart just isn't in it anymore.

Now as a Blogger, I have been through Burn-Out once or twice. Usually when this occurs, I will take a few days off from the genre and try to recharge the batteries. This has always worked in the past. Some, though, have to step away from the medium altogether, they just are not able to come up with anything that meets their own tough standards.

One thing is for sure, if you do this blogging thing any length of time, you too will "hit a wall" and suffer Burn-Out of one degree or another.

The question is....Is there anything we can do to stave off this malady? Well there are a few things that might help.

1. Vary the subject, tone and mood of your entries. The mere effort of changing subjects and tone of your writing can keep what you do fresh to you. If you write comedy then throw in some serious entries from time to time. The same is true if you write serious blogs about topical issues...throw in some light, funny stuff from time to time. Mix it up in order to keep it fresh.

2. Forget about having :"blue months". Don't worry about missing a few days. Do not put a deadline on yourself. Sooner or later you will buckle under the pressure. Write an entry when you feel moved to write one, no matter what the subject is. You will notice that I have this same problem sometimes...today is a day like that...I made a nothing entry just to go blue for the day.

3. Be fearless Now what I mean by that is do not let concern over how your blog entry will be received govern whether or not you write what you want to say. The hidden danger in Blogville is that we make friends here. Now friends are great and I cherish every one of them I have made during my time blogging but sometimes we will disagree. I hate it when that happens but on the other hand, I have to write what I believe...not what my friends believe.

4. Use other blogs for ideas for your own blog Sometimes I will read another blogger's entry and it is done so well that it starts me to thinking. Maybe I will be moved to expound on the same subject, maybe I will need to write an opposing opinion. Either way, by reading them I have found incentive to write my own blog entry.

5. Be conservative with your words Now this isn't very scientific but I truly believe that writers have a certain number of words in them. Like a clip in a rifle, we have so many bullets to fire and when they are done...so are we. Try to get your point across without writing a novel with every entry. Some people seem to think that by flooding the reader with reams of words they are somehow being smart....usually it just puts the reader to sleep anyway so why bother. Keep it simple and straightforward and save those words for future use. I am the worlds worse at this so in keeping with my own advise, I will stop this now and let your eyes rest.

HAPPY BLOGGING AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE BURN-OUT...STUFF HAPPENS!
August 12, 2006 at 12:28pm
August 12, 2006 at 12:28pm
#447473
Today I had the pleasure of talking to PlannerDan . He is home now and deeply involved in the long process of healing from his surgery.

Dan asked me to convey his heartfelt thanks for all the prayers and well-wishes on his behalf from all the members here on WDC. He told me to tell you he loved you all.
On another subject...please, if you have not voted for Blogger of the Month, email me with your choice...voting has been light so far.



On another news front, I also talked to ccstring and he is busy working on his "Fractured Shakyspere" thing today and we may be seeing the results any time now! He did email me one of his efforts and I gotta tell you, if you are alergic to laughing until you cry, they steer clear of his "Shakyspere" it was about the funniest thing I have ever read.

Now as for the main subject of this blog entry.....WELL HECK, I CAN'T THINK OF A THING! I hope this isn't how the last of my entries are going to go...can't think of anything to expound upon.

Well, on the bright side, the day is blue now, if nothing else. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and please stay safe.
August 11, 2006 at 2:11pm
August 11, 2006 at 2:11pm
#447274
Wow, okay now this is different...I went two days without blogging or even commenting in my normal number of blogs. For not reading and commenting, I apologize profusely to all of you.

My poor email in-box was starting to grow cobwebs so I decided I better drag myself in here and polute the blog page again.

My short absence has been due to a slight burp in my phyical well being. Tuesday afternoon, at work, my blood pressure spiked and I almost hit the floor. The upshot of this was that I was forced to sit in a damn wheelchair until Mel came and collected me. She then wheeled me out, the entire length of the store in the damn chair.

I felt like I had a sign on me that read: "WINNER OF THE INVALD FLOAT PARADE".

Well today I went to the doctor. Now I have been having this problem along with a few others for over a year and have been through every test they can give but no one can find a cause.

Today, though was a bit different. Today, for the first time I happened to mention to the doctor that I have had this problem for years and it seems to be getting worse....I stop breathing when I fall asleep.

When this happens, Mel has to nudge me to get my breathing started again. Well when I told the doctor this he lit up like a kid with a new toy. He told me that all the problems; blood pressure spikes, dizziness, exhaustion, headaches and even some degree of depression can be traced to what he called, Sleep Apthnia.

Surprising to me, his biggest consern was heart attack and stroke. After I described a normal bout I usually have he told me that many people end up having either a heart attack or stroke when it gets that bad.

Now if I don't tell you the following, Mel will bop me. She is the reason I even mentioned it to the doctor. Last night she took a small recorder and she taped me trying to breathe....it was scary to listen to. When I told the doctor the length of time I stopped breathing (as much as three minutes), well that is when he became alarmed.

So now I gotta listen to a rousing and continuous chorus of "I TOLD YOU SO!" from Mel...Gawd! I also have an appointment with a "specialist" in the field to get treatment. The down side is I couldn't get an appointment until Sept. 8 so I have about three weeks to wait.

Now all I have to do is keep from stroking out in the meantime.

Well now you know why you were blessed with two days of peaceful silence in my blog space, but all good things must end so.......I'M BAAAACK!

August 8, 2006 at 7:02pm
August 8, 2006 at 7:02pm
#446565
I would like to thank the four people who actually voted for their favorite blogger yesterday...we need more votes folks.

***********************************



Economic earthquakes, like their counter-parts in nature, usually begin with small almost unnoticed tremors. One of these tremors happened yesterday in the Wal-Mart company.

We got the news at our store that the corporate office had decided to put a salary cap on all divisions within the store. Now you have to understand that about two years ago Wal-Mart instituted a "realignment" of its job classifications. Depending on what job you held, you were either in div. 1 up to div. 9...nine being management.

At the time there was a bit of an uproar over their doing this because after it was implemented they then made the rule that if you went from a higher division to one that was lower, you lost money...you would be paid a lower hourly wage.


As I said, there was some grumbling about it at the time but if one thought about it, you could see that there was some merit in their action. After all, in the past if someone had been a dept. manager and for whatever reason, had to go back to being just a regular sales person, they were allowed to keep their hourly wage they had collected as a dept. manager. Now though, if they made a move downward, they lose money.

We did not realize at the time that this move was merely a precursor to what happened yesterday. Now they have come up with their salary cap on each division. They pulled arbitrary numbers out of a hat and said....this much and no more will you ever make.

Now let me give you an example of how this impacts the workers: Associate A has worked for Wal-Mart for 15 years. Their job is a sales clerk in Small Appliances. They love that job and they do it well and after 15 years, even though they started at minimum wage, they now make $15.00 per hour. They made the move up the salary ladder by hard work and getting one raise, usually .40 to .50 cents , each year.

Now Associate A, when he comes in for his yearly evaluation, discovers that the new cap for his position is $15.00 an hour so they don't get that lousy 40 cent raise after another year of work. In fact, if Associate A works for another 20 years at his job he will not get one more penny...zip, nada, zilch, nothing. He has nothing to look forward to, no reason to try to do a better job because they will not pay him one cent more than he is making right this moment.

36 people in our store were effected right away. Those folks had worked their way above the new cap for their existing jobs. All had worked over 10 years for the company....none of them will ever make more than what they make right now. The rest of us will face this as we reach our caps for our own division. On a personal note, I will reach my own cap in the coming year.

Now think about it. Do you want to be making the same paycheck in 20 years that you are making right now? No allowances for the cost of living either.

Yes, this was a tremor which, I believe, points to an upcoming economic earthquake that is going to strike Wal-Mart.

I firmly believe that the suits that run the company are doing this for the express purpose of running off old time employees who make decent paychecks. Once these folks move on they will be replaced with new workers at MINIMUM WAGE! I believe this was done in order to assuage worried shareholders because of falling stock prices. This is a move to show them that the company is taking "cost-cutting" steps and they don't have to worry. This is a tremor.

Another tremor: A few weeks ago Wal-Mart very quietly sold all their stores in Germany...another tremor.

You can imagine the effects on morale in the store. The most telling example of rotten morale: In the past, no one would ever even mention the word "Union" inside a Wal-Mart. It just wasn't done...seriously, not a word. Today, however, I sit in the break room which was full of angry people who were discussing OPENLY, the pros and cons of having a UNION in our store! There was even a couple of asst. managers sitting in there...very quietly...not saying a damn word. That would have never of happened a week ago. Now, however, we just don't care. Like one guy said: "What the heck are they going to do to us, NOT GIVE US OUR RAISE?"

I really feel that this next year will see some very major changes in retail in general and in Wal-Mart in particular....an economic earthquake is coming. If by some chance you own Wal-Mart stock....sell it...trust me.


August 7, 2006 at 6:11pm
August 7, 2006 at 6:11pm
#446347
Okay, I hate to be a nag...no, not really, I kind of enjoy nagging, just ask CC. Anyway I really need you guys to start sending in those votes for Blogger of the Month. I have recieved a couple but we need to get those things in here! PLease just drop me an email and tell me who you would like to vote for, for Blogger of the Month, this month. All you have to do is give their nic. Should take about two minutes...I'M WAITING!!!!*Bigsmile*.


Now down to today's business at hand....CC has been whining just like I figured he would....that in itself is quite entertaining. I see that most of you would love to see how he would "rewrite" one of Shakysperes famous plays so here is my first choice. If you have a different choice, just copy and paste it in my comment section and we will pick the best one.

My choice is from the play: Hamlet. Act 5 Scene 1. This is where Hamlet delivers his famous Soliquey.

HAMLET
Let me see.

Takes the skull

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?
Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let
her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must
come; make her laugh at that. Prithee, Horatio, tell
me one thing.


There you have my choice...what do ya think? Is that one good or do you have another scene you would like to see CCnized?


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