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These are my daily "affirmations" |
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Hello and welcome to my blog. You will get the unabashed me because I need to vent about my life to stay sane. I'm sarcastic, self-depricating, and worthless. But I have my moments. Enjoy. |
| 110605 0735 So I'm sitting here at work and I'm trying to find a way to NOT fall asleep.  I have no luck. I have work I need to do, of course, but since I'm the only one here, why not procrastinate, right?My husband and I just bought a very expensive, nice thing that we cannot afford. When I say cannot afford, I mean we might be living out of a box soon. Have you ever been so poor that you've gone with out gas or electricity? (within the last 5 yrs) We haven't really gone long without it, but the fact remains. We are just so freaking irresponsible with our money and pretty much everything else. (by we I mean mostly me) I really wonder how we keep our jobs. Where do I go from here? I smoke, eat terribly (and am thus, fat), spend all our money. I have no control of my life and that sucks. I just don't know what I can do to change. I feel like these terrible habits are more than just habits, but a permanent fixture of my persona. I wish I was wrong, but I don't think that I'll ever be able to change for more than a week at a time. Really, who gives a fuck. All I need to lose now is my empathy and that would pretty much solve the problem. |
| I really think that I might be going crazy this time. Every person drives me mad. I just don't get why people aren't friendly. If you're going to go to lunch, why not be polite and tell me that's what you're doing. I guess that would mean that you would be forced to actually SPEAK to me! I'm nice. I'm nice to everyone. Is that why some people are such assholes? I mean, does it seem like I'm weak because I'm nice? I hate people. I really feel like I'm losing my grip on reality until I realize a few people are nice to me and do like me. It's just such a freaking rarity. Anyway, I only go crazy when the small passive-agressive actions occur many many times. I think it gives me insight into psycho's motives. That is why I am getting back on my medication today. (slight laugh) |
| 0637/102905 Work There are so many things that I cannot stand. I don't like any writings by teenagers-they have this really sad and corny look on life. (this includes EVERYTHING that I wrote as a teenager) They are just so naive and spoiled. But, they'll be rebirthed into reality soon enough- so is the balancing act of nature. I hate closed-minded people. By closed-minded I mean all of the people you usually think of-the cliche/stereotypes, but also the black girl at work that I'd like to befriend, but won't seriously consider me as a person because I'm white. Closed-minded like the family that has exiled me because "mother is always right" and I refuse to accept that. I'm a "rebel" because I care enough to get help for my problems, and educate myself-not just about my family's psychological problems but my own. I think I just hate being alone. |
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