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| Damn men. We went all the way over to Ethan's swimming class. I went to pull our suits out of the bag, and the only swimming gear that was in the bag was Ethan's swimming diaper and my suit bottom. No top for me. We could've made do if I at least had my suit, but I can't very well get into the pool topless. Jason had gone to restock the swimming diapers in the backpack, took out my suit top and Ethan's trunks, and never put them back. Then he tried to tell me it was my fault because I didn't do it myself! That, of course, pissed me off, since I had done just about everything to make sure the bag had what it needed, including putting the suits in the bag in the first damned place, and his ass is the one that took them out. The worst part of it was that we were in the locker room at the gym before we realized that we didn't have our suits so he was expecting to get in the pool and we had to turn around and walk back out without even taking our coats off. He screamed the whole way out. I was pissed because Jason had tried to make it out to be my fault when he made the mistake to make himself feel better, so as we were leaving and Ethan was screaming, I said, "Tell Daddy he's a bad Daddy for taking Mommy's suit out of your backpack and not putting it back in." It was wrong for me to do it, but I hate it when he does something wrong and tries to turn it into my fault. What I had really wanted to say to him was something along the lines of, "Motherfucker, he had 1 swimming diaper in there, which would have sufficed, but you couldn't deal with him only having 1, so don't try to say that this is my fault." He's a jackass, anyway. We went over to J's Mom's house real fast because we needed to get Ethan calmed down and we figured that J's Mom and/or Dad would be able to help with that. Unfortunately, J's Dad was out fishing, so E didn't get to see him. The weather went sour, so we had to go home before Butch got back from fishing. We drove home in white-out conditions. Jason couldn't see the car 5 feet in front of us most of the time. We're getting a huge blizzard in from the Lake right now, with wind gusts up to 35 mph. The wind chill makes temperature feel like it's -10 degrees. It's about time we got some winter weather, but damn. Does it have to come in forms of severe weather? Can't we have some mild snowfalls and a bit of cold? Why does it have to be ice, then 2 feet of snow, then sunshine, then a blizzard? Beggars can't be choosers, I guess. That's what I get for complaining about our mild winter. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. That's the lesson for today. |
| It seems like I spend a good deal of my time and energy putting out fires. Something will come up, a bill will be past due, and I run to pay it at the last minute because we can't afford it when it's actually due. I got my first full paycheck last week, though, so I'm hoping that having the consistant extra $300+ every two weeks will help things get caught up and then ahead. We're not *that* far behind, just enough that it stresses me out a little bit and it's annoying because I hate having to choose between paying the electricity this week and the telephone next week. I just want to be able to pay them both and be done with it. I'm not used to this juggling crap! Work has been the same way. Thankfully, I really like my job and I love my boss, so those fires don't seem as bad because I can leave them at work when I go home for the day. Sometimes, things really bother me, but my job is to make the situation as best as I can for those who need help, and most of the time my help is greatly appreciated. When the people I help acknowledge and appreciate what is being done for them, it makes all of the fires that I have to deal with the rest of the time worth it. Ethan's 2nd birthday is coming up at the end of this month. I can't believe it's been 2 years already. Where has the time gone? He's so funny. His vocabulary has really taken off. I got him to say "anemone" this morning, which I think is incredible. He picks up the phone, hits a button, and says, "Hello, Papa?" That always makes me crack up. My boy is obsessed with his Grandpa Williams. Well, it's time for Ethan's swimming class, so I better get going. I hope everyone has a wonderful day! And remember, only YOU can prevent forest fires! |
| Found out my problem. I had gone all weekend without much protein (some chicken salad on Friday night and that's about it), so I think I was protein deprived. Jason made me some steak last night and after eating it and some green beans, I felt a lot better. This morning, though, back to square 1. Not as bad as the original square, per se, but still feeling kind of pukey and altogether blah. I went to the bagel shop on the corner and bought a famer's omelet bagel. It tasted better than it smelled, but it gave me heartburn. So the rest of the morning and most of this afternoon, I felt like I had a burp stuck in my esophagus. I hate that feeling. It makes me feel as vomitty as not eating any protein. Jason made chicken and green beans (notice my green bean trend here?) for dinner, so I got my protein quotient for the day, I hope. We got a good amount of snow in the past couple of days. It's nice, but I wish it had come over Christmas, when snow is actually useful for something around here. Instead, I had to drive to work in it, which wasn't so bad since my van is a tank in this stuff, but still. I hate driving in snow. Period. My boss got in to work this morning and saw me for the first time in 4 days, I think. She looked at me and said, "Gee whiz, girl, you got pregnant over the weekend! That belly sure popped out overnight, didn't it?!" She cracks me up. I bought her a coffee for making me laugh. And also because she was nice enough to go let me buy my bagel omelett thing. I kind of have my desktop computer back up and running. It runs really slow, though. I'm thinking I may have to do a reinstall because it takes me forever to do stuff like load the Sims 2. Which reminds me. I started a new family, since I haven't played the others for over a year. I was really original, creating a Melissa, Jason, and Ethan Williams. They've been trying for another baby since Ethan turned into a child. He's a teenager now, and an overachiever. I seriously hope that trend follows me into real life. LOL. Look at me, hoping that my real son turns out as well as my virtual son. I think that means it's time for me to go to bed. |
| I'm at work, but I felt like I was never going to stop throwing up this morning. I've taken a Zofran, even though I hadn't had to in over a week. I hate feeling like this. Weak, lethargic, tired. But, I have to remember: Like all other things, this, too, shall pass. OK. I have to get back to work now. I'm not trying to whine, honest. I haven't felt the best in the past few days, but I'll get past it. I have no other choice. |
| 1. What's in the backseat of your car? I don't drive a car. I drive a minivan. I can't really call the backseat the backseat, since there's 2 rows. But whatever. The first row of back seats has Ethan's car seat, some toys, and his book pouch. The second row is folded down and Ethan's stroller is over where it would be. 2. When was the last time you threw up? Monday morning. 6:25 a.m. Damned morning sickness. 3. What's your favorite curse word? Right now I've been saying, "Oh, dirty words," a lot. It works pretty well, even though I constantly want to say, "Damnit." 4. Missing question. What should you be doing right now? Probably eating. I'm always eating. 5. What's your favorite episode of "Friends?" I haven't watched Friends in so long that I couldn't tell you my favorite episode, per se. I can tell you my favorite episode of Seinfeld, but nothing from when I watched Friends stands out. 6. Does anyone have any blackmail on you? I don't think so. 7. If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be? Wouldn't that be polygomy? 8. Have you ever been to Africa? Nope. 9. Is there anything orange within ten feet of you? Squares in a blanket on my lap. 10. Are you wearing socks right now? Yep. My house is cold. Socks are necessary. 11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Propel Fitness Water. Berry flavored. 12. What are you wearing right now? Black pants with a metallic black pinstriping. Black socks. A lavender button-up shirt. White panties. White bra. My wedding rings. A ponytale. 13. Last food you ate? A pink lady apple. It won't tide me over for very long. 14. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? I don't think so. 15. When is the last time you ran? Chasing Ethan from the bathroom to his bedroom after his bath. 16. What's the last sporting event you watched? Hahaha. Like alyssa91075 I watched the Colts and Pats. I fell asleep before the end of the game because I knew the Colts were going to win. Don't ask me how I knew, exactly. But I was happy that Manning finally made it to the big one. 17. Last movie you saw? Oh for crying out loud, I don't remember. Maybe Disney's Cars? Herbie: Fully Loaded? Something kid related, I'm sure. 18. Missing question: Kendra deleted the original eighteenth question. What do you think it said? Who cares? It's just one less question I have to answer. 19. Ever go to camp? Yep. When I was in elementary school, I went to Pretty Lake Vacation Camp. It was a week-long overnight camp for poor kids. I hated it because they made you wear their under garments, which I thought was disgusting. 20. Were you ever an honor roll student in school? Yep, until I got to about the 11th grade. Then again when I went to college. 21. Do you like sushi? Depends. I tried it with Diane  . I loved the ones with the cooked fish. I was OK with the raw fish variety that I did try, but I didn't do anything wild. When I had it up here, it wasn't nearly as good.22. Do you have a tan? No. I'm a fair skinned Franny. 23. How old do you want to be when you have kids? Well, since I already have one... and I have one on the way, I guess I'm old enough. 24. Do you drink your soda from a straw? When it's in a glass and I'm at a restaurant or whatever. 25. What did your last text say? I don't get text messages. 26. Are you someone's best friend? I guess so. 27. What are your siblings' middle names? Renee, Anne 28. Where is your dad right now? Who knows. I don't really care. 29. What was the last thing you said? "Talk to you later!" 30. What color is your watch? Silver with a light blue face. 31. What do you think of when you think of Australia? Cappucine. 32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Lots of them. 33. What is your birthstone? Diamond. 34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive through? I go through the drive thru if it's just me and Ethan. If Jason's with us, I go in. 35. What is your favorite number? 22? I don't have a favorite number. 36. Do you have a dog? Two of them. 37. What happened in 1993? I was in the seventh grade. 38. 1995? I was in the ninth grade and my first year of high school. 39. 1997? My junior year. That's when things really started to suck at home. 40. 1999? Living in Kentucky, working as a professional photographer, getting ready to go back to college after getting my GED. 41. 2000? My third semester of college. I had stopped being a photographer and I think started my short lived career with the movie theater. 42. 2001? Graduated from college. Looked for jobs. Found none. Joined the Army. Met Jason. Discharged from the Army due to injury. Moved back to Michigan to live with Jason. 43. What does your first memory of your dad involve? Comforting him after my grandmother's death when I was 6. 44. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Jason's whining about my food-smell aversion. 45. Last phone call? My mother-in-law just called. 46. Are you allergic to anything? Penicillan, Phenergan, Vicodin, Sulfa antibiotics. 47. Favorite shoes that you wear all the time? Right now a pair of black loafers. 48. What is one thing you've learned about life recently? You can never plan too far ahead. 49. Are you jealous of anyone? Nope, jealousy if evil and stupid. 50. Is anyone jealous of you? I hope not. I have nothing to be jealous of. 51. Do you own an iPod? An iPod, no. A portable MP3 Player, yes. I have a Creative Labs Zen. 52. Do any of your friends have children? Most of my friends do. I have one who doesn't that I pray to get pregnant every night. She really wants kids and hasn't been successful for the past two years. 53. Do you ever take medication to fall asleep? On occasion. I suffer from insomnia sometimes, so I take Benadryl or Tylenol PM to help. Not very often, though. 54. What do you work as? My official job title is Data Collection Specialist for the Homeless Assistance Office of Kalamazoo Public Schools. 55. Missing question: what's that thing on your neck? A mole. Although that's not really on my neck. It's on my collarbone. And it's very small. 56. Do you hate anyone right now? Hate is a very strong word that I try not to use in association with my feelings about a person. 57. Would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos? I have. Who cares? 58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 27. 59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? The one in Illinois near Chicago, the one in Ohio (King's Island) and the one in Kentucky (Kentucky Kingdom). 60. How did you get one of your scars? The one on my left eyebrow is from when I was six or seven. My friend Lindsey and I were running around the halls of her apartment building. Being the clutz that I am, I ran into a door frame and busted my eyebrow wide open. I got a few stitches for it. Nothing really significant. |
| The last few days I have a stomach that seems to extend from my chest to my toes. I can eat and eat and eat and still feel hungry. It's not like I'm eating things that are bad for me. I can't eat fried food, overly fatty food, or anything very sweet because it makes me nauseated. But I have to eat so much that even my boss made the comment that it seems like I'm eating for six instead of two. If I don't eat every couple of hours, I get sick. And I'm not talking about just an apple or something. I'm talking that I had 2 chicken salad sandwiches for lunch, along with two apples, a glass of milk, and a pickle, before I finally felt satisfied. By satisfied, I feel not hungry, but not stuffed. It's just odd. With Ethan, I couldn't eat. With this baby, I want to eat. all. the. time. So lately, the time that I could be spending doing... whatever... I spend eating. You figure I have to eat every 2 hours or so, except when I'm sleeping, which is only about 10 hours. It takes me about a half an hour to eat each time. I'm spending a good 4 hours a day putting food in my face. I'm eating 8 times per day! By the time this pregnancy is over, I'm going to weigh 300 pounds. On to other things... There's work, of course. My boss has tried to talk me into applying for the full time job in our office. I can't, though. My mother-in-law and I talked about it. Jason and I could definitely use the extra money, but when the second baby comes there's just no way my mother-in-law will be able to handle both a newborn and a 2-year-old. I'd end up having to put at least one of them, if not both, in daycare. Then I won't be making any extra money whatsoever, since I'd have to pay for daycare. Things kind of hit me about how depressing dealing with the homeless can be. When you end up hearing about a child under the age of 10 who is bouncing around from one family member to the next because nobody will step up and take the child under their wing and give it safety and security, it troubles me. I didn't have the best of childhoods, but I never had to worry about which relative would let me sleep at their house the next week when I was 10 years old. Kids are resilient, but they can only handle so much. |
| The week from hell is over, I think. Sort of. I only worked 28 hours, which is the equivalent of a full day more than I normally work, but 3 days in a row, each at 8 hours, when I'm not used to it, was exhausting. Not to mention the stress involved at some points. There was a family who was at one shelter. The shelter never asked for transportation arrangements for her. Then she left that shelter and went to another shelter. That shelter requested transportation for her. So I set it up. When I notified the school and the shelter, the school questioned whether the transportation was necessary because the student was usually bussed back and forth to daycare. So, the school called the Mom and asked her what was going on. The Mom denied having been in a shelter, saying she had never been there. Maybe the shelter was mistaken, the secretary said to me when she called. Perhaps you should start checking with parents when you receive the shelter lists. I don't think the secretary understands just how many students are living in shelters or how many parents have no contact information outside of the shelter. Most of the time when you call the shelter to speak with them, they don't come to the phone. So I told her that the shelters don't send names to me for no reason whatsoever. Then I called the shelter to find out what the hell was going on with this Mom. She only came the one night, the shelter told me. After that night, she didn't return. Alright, but don't you think you should have notified me that the family had not returned? I asked the shelter representative. Ma'am, we have so many people in and out that sometimes it's hard to keep track of. The other shelters don't have a problem letting me know. Granted, this particular shelter has three times the volume of homeless than the others, but you'd think they'd find a way to make their system a little more organized. So I set the transportation back to the way it had been. It took all of 15 minutes and the student didn't even notice that there was a difference. Then the Mom calls and starts cussing me out about the whole situation. I apologized to her for the breakdown in communication, but reminded her that I was just trying to make sure that her child was able to get back and forth as needed. If a shelter tells me that transportation is needed, I've never experienced that it actually wasn't. She then proceeds to tell me that she didn't sign the confidentiality waiver for the shelter so we should've never know that she was there. I'm not a shelter representative. It's a completely different organization. That's something she should discuss with the shelter. She kept me on the phone for almost a half an hour telling me how upset she was about the situation, like it was my fault or something. I kept apologizing for the miscommunication between the shelter and my department. I didn't tell her this, but because of the McKinney-Vento law, the shelter has to report any child over the age of 6 and under the age of 18 to the school district for identification. I don't want a zillion government organizations contacting me because you've labeled my child as homeless. Uhm... it's not like us labeling your child as homeless in our system is going to have that happen. Your child's school records are completely confidential. But it is my job to make sure that your child gets the things needed in order to attend school. I'm taking care of things just fine on my own, thank you. Well that's all and good, miss, but if you're doing such a fine job you wouldn't be bouncing around between friends and family members' homes and shelters, now would you? Not that needing a little help is a bad thing, mind you. But it was pissing me off that she was trying to say that I was insinuating that she was a bad parent because she had stayed in a shelter or two in the past month. I can understand being embarassed, but as far as I'm concerned, my pride is second to my child's well-being and education. Sorry. I just had to vent it. Most of the parents I deal with are appreciative of everything that's being done to make sure their kids are getting back and forth to school. I'm not being judgemental about this parent, but I was just frustrated that she was treating me like I was trying to inconvenience her. There are a lot of parents who end up in situations that they couldn't possibly have ever foreseen. It doesn't make you a bad parent if the situation isn't something you can handle on your own. What makes you a bad parent is if there's help available, and you choose to be prideful, rather than accept the help. |
| I am exhausted. This week has gone to shit in a toilet. My power went out Sunday night. It came back on on Tuesday afternoon. My laptop got fried, Jason's laptop got fried. I'm typing this from work. Yes, I'm at work at 4:30 p.m. I should be home, seeing my son, but my boss has been sick all week and so I've had to work some extra hours in the Title I general budget to help out CC with her stuff. I worked this long yesterday, too. And I will probably have to work close to this long tomorrow. I just wanted to make sure I jumped on here before I went home for the night. My laptop should be fixed by Friday. If it isn't, I'm going to spit nails at the Dell Technician that fielded my call. I tried to get them to just send me a new laptop, but they insist on replacing the motherboard, processor, and RAM and hope that nothing else got fried by the electrical surges that the surge protector did not protect against. I'm also fighting with my home owners to replace Jason's laptop. It's a measly $300 or whatever, and they said that I should have tested the surge protector regularly to make sure that it wasn't faulty. What the hell? How in the hell does one test a surge protector? Hook it up to a fucking car battery? Anyway, I hope to be back in business tomorrow. I'm going home now to take a nap or something. |
| What do you do with a scurvy pirate? Raid their ships then hot wire it. What do you do with a scurvy pirate? Make them walk the plank! What do you do with a scurvy pirate? Load the cannons up and fire it. What do you do with a scurvy pirate? Make them walk the plank! We'll raid their scurvy pirate ships and make them walk the plank. We'll take all their treasure and put it in the bank! What do you do with a scurvy pirate? Load the cannons up and fire it. What do you do with a scurvy pirate? Make them walk the plank! Scurvy Pirate, as sung on Nick Jr's The Backyardigans. That would be such a fun wedding to plan. I wish more people would do something like this when planning a wedding, instead of doing some old stuffy, sit-down, blah-blah boring shit that costs them a second mortgage and another payment they can't afford. I wish I would be able to go, but alas, August is a bad month for me. You bastards. I command you to change your wedding date to something more condusive to my due date. (Not really, but I thought I'd make the demand anyhow. LOL.) |
| I took a nap and I feel a little better now. The lesson for today, at least for Jason, is to never cross me when I'm tired. At least I'm not homicidal anymore. Alright. Now I'm off to spend my father-in-law's birthday with him. |
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Whatever you do, hang in there, he'll be sleeping like a big boy in no time!