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 |  ALL about me! My place to rant,rave, cry and laugh! |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** by Kiya WELCOME TO MY BLOG I joined WDC in December 2004 and have struggled with starting a blog. I made a list and it had just as many cons as I did pros. But finally I have decided to go for it. This blog is for me, about me and really when it's all said and done~~If you visit my place and you don't like it here, you don't have to be here! This is for me! To help me! This is my place to vent, rave, rant, cry, laugh and say whatever I need to say! I think we all have personal truths. This blog is to help me find my personal truth, deal with my personal truths, let go of some of my personal truths and build on my personal truths! Personal Truth are those thoughts and actions which lead to a feeling of well-being. I think there has to be accountability in order for truth to be found in a personal way. I think all means of self-discovery are valid. I hope my blog helps me with this. Tammy ![Merit Badge in Inner Strength
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| This place, WDC community, is definietely my 2nd home. I love my participation here and all the groups and things that I am involved in. Here I can be extroverted...lose my shyness, find my voice and feel comfortable~~~the majority of the time. But the drama that comes with it, at times, can be overwhelming. Peolpe bickering, peolpe taking things that don't belong to them, stupid handles etc...can all build up. I lost a good friend here recently due to death...Moments like these are hard to take and so overwhelming...with out the extra stupid things that people do here. I miss you VerySara   .OK I JUST NEEDED TO VENT!! I do love it here and have some awesome friends. You know who you are. I belong to some great groups and I love my contests. So now I'm taking myself off to go and lose myself in some reading and reviewing. Hope everyone has a great week! Tammy |
| I had a great day yesterday. The food was awesome, I ate too much...but you are supposed too! Woke up to white outside this morning, very pretty. Yesterday, we rearranged the living room to put up tree and decorations. Got it done, and then we watched Christmas with the Cranks and had hot chocolate. My sister from Dallas, Texas called. I had talked with all my family the night before~but her. Was good to hear her voice, she and I have become pretty close since Mom died. She is one of my only siblings that I am close to. I'm going to try and get some reviews done today..before the kids get up! My friend from Texas emailed me this cute/nasty email and I thought I'd share with you all. Some are pretty funny! Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving 1.Talk about a huge breast! 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. It's Cool Whip time! 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! 5. Whew, that's one terrific spread! 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. 7. Are you ready for seconds yet? 8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some! 10. Don't play with your meat. 11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in. 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once! 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. 15. How long will it take after you stick it in? 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that! 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen! 19. How long do I beat it before it's ready |
| Be glad ya'll can't hear me~!~I'm whistling and singing... I know, I know, that's not lady-like...or at least that is what my older Nursing Home patients have always told me. They laugh and tell me 'women don't whistle,' I never knew..and I'm still whistling! I always do during the Holidays. I feel really good today. I have my part of Thanksgiving dinner cooked!! Will get all the Christmas things organized later. We always put up our tree Thanksgiving night. I have the hot chocolate and marshmellows ready for tomorrow night~We will play games or watch a movie after putting our tree up. My parents installed traditions in me and I want my kids to continue with them. I just sent about 20 c-notes to all my friends here. I am caught up on school work. House clean, kids home...JUST A GREAT DAY! Hope everyone has a Happy Thanskgiving!!! |
| I'm feeling pretty good today. Feeling thankful for what I do have. Trying not to focus on who won't be around for Thanksgiving/Holidays. I know in spirit my parents and lossed ones are around. I know I am blessed with healthy, smart and CUTE! kids. I know I am blessed with some great friends/family!! My friends here are encouraging, helpful and very supportive. I know I am blessed with good job and nice (clean!)home-lol. I dont have to worry about cleaning did most this past weekend. It's always a reality check when something happens that you are not expecting. A hard push to look at yourelf and what you do have. My kids and I are will start cooking deserts this evening!...They are off for the rest of the week-I have to help keep them busy! |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** image by undocked22 for our Silent Helpers group. A group that Verysara was active in. In Memory Instantly I know what you are going to say Not wanting to accept, not wanting to hear. Moments that take your breath away Evolving into your thoughts and fears. Mistakenly thinking you own each day Obliviously forgetting to hold things near. Realizing too late it's taken away Your hope, your friend that was held dear. Tammy 11/21/05 Just some thoughts I had after talking with Verysara'a friend last night and finding out that she had died Nov, 12. I hadn't heard form her in about a week in a half. We communicated about once a week re: The Drop Box, my newbie contest that she helped me to run and judge. She was one of the first members here that I met~~and she welcomed me from the beginning. I will mis her continuous support, encouragement, her free-style and her dry humor. |
| Well I haven't written here in a few days...not because I didn't want to, but I couldn't. The last few days I have not been able to write,...to think, to sleep, to focus. My mind has a thousand thoughts running through it, but I can't grasp anything. I'm very easily distracted. I'm not sure what is wrong...or if there even is anything wrong..!? I'm not much of a sleeper anyway, usually 5 hours is all Im going to get. I work the night shift and sleep usually from 630a to 1130a...I try to get more, but I just can't sleep any longer than that. The last week those 5 hours have been off and on-sleep...I just have so many thoughts in my mind. So many emotions. I think my anger scares me the most. I am angry and I feel like I might explode at any time. Everything just rubs me wrong....and I mean everythihng~~the snow, the sun, the t.v., my kids at time, peolpe driving down the road, my computer dragging... ! My answer to all this (and this has pretty much always been my answer)~~to pull into myself. I thnk I am becoming so introverted. I'm already anti-social...well, as much as I can be with my 2 very active kids... I think the worst thing about being introverted is...when you turn inward...you are turning to your self...and I don't always like myself...doesn't that seem like a no win situation!?!? anyway...need to get some reviews done if I can focus... before takng my daughter to basketball practise. I'm trying to stay caught up with contests & groups so they don't pile up on me!! |
| So winter is here! It snowed yesterday and has stuck! I went to start my car this a.m. at work and the doors were frozen, I finally got in the through the back seat and had to climb over into the driver seat! My patient's Dad was like, "you know how to keep your doors from freezing?.........move South of Missouri..." funny~funny I got 3 Christmas sigs today from friends here. Everything/everyone is getting ready for the Holidays. I have mixed emotions about them...I lost an Aunt and my half brother last November, I miscarried the day after Thanksgiving last year and I lot my Mom on Dec 14th. I think that is why I'm having such mood swings the last few days! I just want to skip the next month and a half! I've tried writing~~to let some of it out and I keep getting stuck! I want to call my niece or sister...then I don't because I don't want to make them any sadder than they already are. I guess I will try writing more to get the emotions out.. |
| When I got up today it was cold and rainy. A very dreary day...it started snowing about 4 hours ago....sticking in places. YUCK!! I wasn't ready for it... My mood has been dreary all day, not sure if weather or emotions or...probably a little bit of all! Just one of my funk days. One of those~~I need to cut my hair, or dye my hair..or do something drastic day..lol. I resisted the urge to do any of it!! Yeah me. On a positive note, my patient made me fell good last night. I work Home Health as Private Duty Nurse. I have 2 clients. One is a young female client who has spina-bifida, I see her the most. I am in her home from 12a-6a and she usually sleeps thru most of my care. Last night she was wide awake and in a good mood. Sticking her tongue out at me and smiling and patting my arm..wanting one of her hugs! It's times like this that I remember why I became a nurse. My little girl is feeling better (she's 11) and she is so much like me at times it scares me. My son is 13 and he has my Dad's personality...such a teaser! Anyway, it's snowing today, so I went to pick up Caitlyn from school (we live really close to school...but the weather was bad at the time and she had been sick!) Cody had wrestling practise... so I am waiting..20 minutes pass...no Caitlyn.. of course I get nrevous and irritated~~end up calling home and she walked..no "ran" home...! I was like use your head child...this brought back a memory of one of my only spankings as a child. I was nine and lived in Texas and we seldom got snow...one winter it snowed and I walked home~~my Dad had went to pick us up...it was probably 1/2 mile. He was livid and gave my brother and I a whipping!! Now I know how he felt... I lost my Dad in Feb. 2003..we were really close. He's one of the few peolpe that ever made me feel special!! Well, I've rambled enough..I'm going to find something to take my mind off my memories. |
| Today has been good, I got lots done with my group. (~The group has given 222 reviews in 9 days~!!!) Got a few reviews done and even learned some new things! My daughter didn't feel good today and later tonight she got out our family videos and was watching ones from when the kids were younger and their Dad and I was together. Made me a little sad that he couldn't be the Dad or man that we needed him to be. I miss the family we could have been.... Well just needed to say a few things. I'm going to try to review a few before I head to work. Tammy |
| This has been a day full of ups and downs! Down to start with, but nothing I can really vent aloud about. But my respect for WDC, the people here and my friends here has doubled today!! I did get some reviewing and catching up done today. Not much me-time writing..but I will do that tomorrow. So, I will finish a few things here and go veg in front of the t.v. with my 2 kids. Hope everyone has a great week. Tammy |
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