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Rated: 18+ · Book · Other · #955301
On a daily basis... things that bump around in my head and make me go... hummm!
My new blog:
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#1151843 by Not Available.





This is not just a collections of personal musing but it is a place where I can vent. Talking about daily events on the local, state, and national scene is my way of letting off steam so I don't come home and kick the dog!

We are all the Captain of our own "Ship of Fools." We go where the current of the times take us and we do what we must to be able to sleep at night. Now this Captain will speak his mind about that current and about the ocean on which we each sail.......

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PLEASE MAIL ME YOUR VOTE FOR BLOGGER OF THE MONTH OF AUGUST.

This is a shot of Me and Mel at our wedding. We were married in a simple ceremony on a deck overlooking Lake Livingston.

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I am so proud of my new Siggy which was made by the very talented vivacious . Thank you so very much for all the effort that went into this.

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This was taken from the wall in the Blogville Post Office. If you see this fugitive, please do not approach, he is armed and stupid. Contact the Blogville sheriff's office at once, then take cover!

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January 27, 2006 at 8:15pm
January 27, 2006 at 8:15pm
#402684
Okay guys "Invalid Entry Is now ready for your reading enjoyment. As always, please let me know what you think and if you have any ideas on how I can make it better. I need all your ideas. You will truly enjoy this weeks guest editor, Nada
January 27, 2006 at 5:25pm
January 27, 2006 at 5:25pm
#402629
This is going to be my normal short entry for Friday. I have to put the Newsletter together. My entire blog entry today will be simply be recognition of a friend.

I would like to say a public "Thank you" to windac for being my friend.

For those of you who don't know Wind let me tell you that she is one of the finest people it has been my pleasure to know on WDC. She is a shining example of her faith and she exemplifies grace under pressure.

My old daddy once told me: "Son there is a great difference between a woman and a lady. You can tell which is which by their words and actions."

Well windac is a lady of the first order and you would all do well to become aquainted with her.

Thanks for being my friend Winda.
January 26, 2006 at 1:24pm
January 26, 2006 at 1:24pm
#402284
Random Thoughts for today:

Last night, on the local (Houston) news, it was reported that the owners of the brand new Professonal Soccor team had come up with a name for their team. Are you ready for this.....HOUSTON 1836!!

Now what kind of dang name is that for a SPORTS team! The date, 1836, honors the date that the city of Houston was founded. You see, this is what happens when the Chamber of Commerce gets involved in team naming. This gives the impression that the team is run by a bunch of geeks, for God's sake.

I can just invision the stadium filled, at game time, with this bunch of college historians holding banners and cheering their bespeckled heads off! I mean, there's just no fire, no macho toughness with that name. It would be like naming the Pittsburg Steelers the Pittsburg Metal Forming Employees....Whose gonna cheer for those guys???

Just goes to show you that Soccor is a dang foreign sport to Texans....we have no idea what to do with it.

In the news today: A judge who had sentanced a convicted pedophile to 60 DAYS and COUNCELING changed his mind and resentenced the man to 3 years behind bars.

60 days and counceling? Okay, is it just me or does anyone else see the absurdity in this sentence? A pedophile is someone who finds CHILDREN sexually stimulating. Now I am a man who finds grown women sexually stimulating and I guarantee you that no amount of counceling would ever change my preferance! So, why does anyone think it will work on pedophiles? I am glad that public outrage and pressure forced this idiot judge to change his mind.

Personal milestone approaching:

I noticed today that my veiws on my blog will soon hit 10,000. It could happen sometime in the next two or three days. When I saw that figure it boggled my mind. It is truly a humbling thought that almost 10,000 times people have clicked on this blog. In a way, this is very scary for me. What have I done to get this far and can I continue to make the blog readable?

I am so very thankful to each and everyone of you out there who have ever clicked on this little piece of my mind. I hope, in the future, I can come up with suitable entries and I hope I can continue to grow and learn for all the really good bloggers out there.

Thank you all for reading me.
January 25, 2006 at 10:59pm
January 25, 2006 at 10:59pm
#402162
Okay, its late and I pulled a no-no. I came home about eight tonight from work and instead of sitting down and doing a blog I started reading some of my favorites. Now it is almost ten o'clock at night and my brain is mush....so...no blog tonight for this puppy! If anyone is interested in laying blame for this turn of events then here is a list of those great bloggers whose entries kept me from writing my own....

PlannerDan
zwisis
Scarlett
susanL
windac
Solitary Man
Erik Stark
Nada
Lady D
aprilbaby
Rasputin
ccstring

These are a few of those I read tonight...there were others but dang, I'm tired...I'm going to bed now. If anyone see's the Monkey Spanker lurking around here tell him I said: BITE ME! LOL LOL!
January 24, 2006 at 6:55pm
January 24, 2006 at 6:55pm
#401861
I had planned on writing something humorous today about me and my buddy CC but then I read a really fine blog entry by Voxxylady and I changed my mind.

Her blog covered a variety of subjects and did them very well but it was the ending that really caught my eye:

"I suppose I may have just alienated a bunch of people, but I'm having one of those opinionated days. I don't watch my stats anyway. I do this because it's something I want to do, readers or not."

This one short paragraph, in an entry FULL of good paragraphs grabbed me and held my attention. It says so much about blogging I felt I had to throw my two cents worth into the mix.

I have found that when we write with passion, when we expound on things we are serious about and when we don't WORRY about what someone else might think, that is when we do some of our best writing.

To me, this is what Blogging is about; To put forth our ideas without fear of censure. This is what makes for interesting blog entries. I believe that when we write our blogs we should never do it with the worry of how someone else will take it. Its our blog, damnit, so why can't we be honest within the confines of this page. LK mentions that she doesn't watch her stats so therefore she is free to write what she wants.

Well I contend that you can watch or pay attention to stats and STILL be honest in your beliefs. Let's face it: We all want to be read. If we didn't then we wouldn't be writing. We all get pleasure and fulfillment out of knowing others read what we produce and get something out of it also. Stats are a way for us to see if we are doing that, if people are actually reading what we write.

Stats are to writers what money is the professional gambler....It is a way for them to tell if they are successful in what they do. Listen folks, if someone stops reading my blog because they don't agree with me well that is just fine and dandy, I could care less. On the other hand, if that same reader emails me and tells me that they no longer read what I write because it is written badly, poor grammar, terrible spelling and weak topic or plot then you can bet your bottom dollar I will change what I do. I will try to write better.

So on days when I see my views for my blog dip down to 25 or so and I have written one of my Rants, it doesn't bother me at all. I just assume that the majority of people didn't care for what I had to say that day....I can live with that. As long as I stay true to what I believe then even if I only get 1 or 2 views, that's okay.

For example, I know of one person on this site (I am sure there are many more) who, I heard through the grapevine, has totally stopped reading my blog because they strongly disagree with my politics, among other things. THAT'S FINE WITH ME! To each their own and I wish the lady God-speed. She is totally within her right not to read.

I guess what I am trying to say is never be afraid to speak your mind in your own blog. Never let the stats rule what you write. Keep up with them but take them with a grain of salt. I have found that the best blog entries are the ones that reveal your passion.

When we are all famous, published, writers we are going to have critics and some readers who will tear apart what we write....never fear them and just like your blog today....write from your heart and the devil take the rest of them!

LK is one of my favorite writers here on this site and while I may disagree with her sometimes, it doesn't diminish the respect I have for her as a writer. Do yourself a favor and go over and read her blog today. IT IS HOW A BLOG SHOULD BE DONE!


Okay....I'm shutting up now.

January 23, 2006 at 6:02pm
January 23, 2006 at 6:02pm
#401586
When was it decided? Did I miss the memo?

I'm talking about this idea that, after a person reaches a certain age, they need to act more "adult". You know, in most cases I hate that word...ADULT.

Why is it that people expect us to suddenly act all serious and stuff after reaching the age of 40? Like just today, in the break room I had someone actually say this same thing to me and my buddy Randal.

Why?

Well it would seem that Randal was running his mouth...as usual and I called him on it. Then the thing escalated into a full on food fight between me and him. To be honest, it was Randal who started it. He heaved an open bag of chips my way...I ducked and the bag caught our asst. manager in the chest and dumped its contents in his lap. I immedately came to his rescue by felling Randal with one perfectly aimed tweekie to the forehead!

You see, thats just Randal and me....we always have fun and we refuse to act our age. Maybe it is because we both saw enough horror when we were young and now we refuse to take life quite so serious. You see, Randal was a door-gunner on a huey helicoptor when he was 19. We walked the same paths...well he flew over them...but now we just want to have fun.

So why do we have to grow up? I have laughed and I have cried and I can tell you.....Laughing is better.

Now this brings me to my other buddy....CC. I know that many of you in here are aware that CC and I are always sniping at each other...hell we live for that stuff. But, it dawned on me that some of you might actually think that us, being all grown up and stuff, might actually not like each other and that the stuff we do is serious...NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!

Our battles and our practical jokes go way back...over five years we have been doing this stuff and I gotta tell you....it makes my day.

Let me give you some examples: One time CC calls me on the phone. He tries to act all nonchalant and stuff and in the course of the conversation, he asks me if I know this certain lady's phone number.

Now the lady in question is a computer whiz and a mutual friend of ours and I KNOW if CC wants her number it is so she can help him pull some dang computer based practical joke on me! So I tell CC that I don't have it right in front of me but that I will call him back with the number.

I called him back.

With TWO numbers...home and cell.

Of course one number was for the Argintine Embassy in Washington and the "cell" number was for the Bolivian Trade Immassary or some such thing!!!!

As a result of that, CC is no longer able to travel any further south than Mexico!!! I think his picture is hanging in the post offices of both those countries, not to mention being on the Homeland Security's Watchlist.

See, now where would the fun of been had I just gave him the real numbers? No. I will never grow up, I'm afraid.

But, its not just me.

CC once used his little art program on his computer and made a Victoria's Secret Calander with MY FACE on every damn model for each month....AND POSTED IT IN AN ONLINE COMMUNITY WITH OVER 900 MEMBERS!!!

I, of course, had to retaliate. So I took this long IM conversation he and I had one day....copied it to "Word" and then "EDITED" it to read what I wanted it to read.....I had him talking trash about everyone in that same community. I made it looked like he was laughing at them and calling them "DUMB" AND "GUILLABLE" and stuff like that!

Oh we had some chuckles over that one. He spent a month groveling and sucking up and trying to convince them that evil tor had done it. I just sit back and pleaded innocence.

Then he passed around a siggy which was a picture of a toliet on wheels with my head coming out the bowl, wearing a helment!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I was forced to kidnap his monkey and send it to Florida. It has not been seen since.

So, you see, CC and I will never really grow up and why should we. Who says any of us ever have to actually ACT OUR AGE?

No, I was deadly serious when I was young....Now I'm gonna have fun.

Remember this entry the next time CC comes in here flapping his gums about something I am supposed to have done to him.....remember.....HE LIES!

Now get out there and have some fun....we will be serious in our next life...I promise.
January 22, 2006 at 5:31pm
January 22, 2006 at 5:31pm
#401383
I had made up my mind today not to do a blog. Instead, I was going to spend the entire day vegging in my easy chair and watching football. I mean, after all, I did take the day off from work, I should be able to just be lazy shouldn't I.

Well the best laid plans of mice and men, as they say. It is now third quarter of the Denver-Pittsburg game and it was out of hand by half-time. So I gave up watching the mess and returned to the computer.

The weather is dreary; it is raining, nasty and gray outside and here I sit trying to think of something to write about...then it hit me. Well it didn't actually hit me, it was more like it nudged me repeatedly.

You see, everytime it rains and the rain is accompanied by lightning and thunder, my cowardly black lab, Molly dives under my desk and hides.

She is there now...curled up in a ball, ON TOP of my feet and shaking like a damn leaf! She had calmed down just a bit until this last clap of thunder rolled over us....BACK TO SHAKING!

This is just wrong. This is a Texas dog, for God's sake and Texas dogs are supposed to be just a tad tougher than this 85lb. bag of neurotic dog matter.

To be honest, I truly believe it is not Molly's fault that she is the way she is. No, it is solely the fault of my wife, Mel.

You see, Mel is famous for treating all her pets like small, furry, humans. After a couple of years of living under Mel's influnce, poor Molly has totally forgotten that she is a dog; she truly believes that she is just a hairy human with two extra legs and a long tail.

She would no more sleep under the front porch than my dear old aunt Nellie would have....well when she was sober anyway.

It's not just Molly either. We have four cats who view the outside world with equal distaste and distain. The cats "talk" to Mel, or try to, just like humans. Each and every one of them, when they want something, will come up to Mel, jump in her lap, look her in the eyes and begin a series of meows...telling her what they want.

The really freaky part is....Mel understands them. She will listen to them and then tell me just what they want, then go do it for them!

The cats learned not to try that with me. Smoke, our big male long-haired cat who thinks he is a dog (another story)tried it once.

He bounced up into my lap, looked deeply into my eyes and started that dang meowing....

"What was that?" I asked him. "Did you say you wanted to go outside?"

And before he could run, I grabbed him up and tossed his ass out the door!

Oh it was funny. All I could hear after slamming the door was this loud scretch of outraged kitty as he plastered his twenty pound, hairball, body against the front window trying to find his way back to his warm living room.

Mel was not amused and hurriedly rescued her poor baby.

"Well I bet he don't try that crap with me no more" I told her smugly.

Dang....I have never been called names like that before. Trust me, Mel has a very colorful vocabulary when she puts her mind to it.

So, anyway, here I sit. One frightened, sissy, Black Lab under my desk and four human/cats all gathered on the couch with Mel, watching the Animal Planet....they all like that channel, they like to see how the "other half" live.

Dang Furbags!
January 21, 2006 at 1:23pm
January 21, 2006 at 1:23pm
#401115
What to write about today? That is the burning question. Unlike my buddy PlannerDan who is always so dang ordered and has his "ducks" in a row, so to speak, I am always totally scattered.

I rarely know, before I sit down at the computer, what the heck I am going to write about and today is no different. So, having explained my shortcomings, I shall forge onward with a somewhat "scattered" blog today.....

First thing on my mind....Dogs have it easier than husbands. Its true you know...they really do. Case in point:

This morning Mel got up and fixed breakfast...nothing unusual there, she does this every morning we are off work. Today I had scrambled eggs, biscuits and sausage gravy. For those of you not familiar with country breakfasts, sausage gravy consists of gravy with pan sausage crumbled into it...GOOD STUFF...usually.

Well, I ate my breakfast as usual then Mel gave the leftovers to Molly, our black Lab. After feeding Molly, she came back into the living room and asked me:

"Honey, was the sausage gravy ok? I just gave what was left to Molly and she is hardly touching it."

I started to laugh. I couldn't help it. Her statement pointed up the fact that dogs have an easier road than husbands...which I told Mel.

"How so?" She asked me.

"Well, honey," I replied. "Molly knows that if she doesn't like the food and refuses to eat it...YOU AIN'T GONNA BOP HER! While, if I even LOOK like I might find it less than top-notch, I'm gonna be applying band-aids to various parts of my body."

Needless to say, Mel did not see the humor in my theory. Please pass the band-aids.

***************************************

Next "Scattered" point: Personality and IQ tests online.

I have seen quite a bit of talk on the blog page about these things today and of course I have my own opinion about them.

Mel loves these things and she is always filling them out then reading the results to me. I normally take all results from online tests with a healthy grain of salt.

I mean, if you look closly at them they resemble horoscopes in newspapers....they give you vague results that can be interperted many ways and they always find something GOOD to say about you.

LOL! Just once I would love to see one of those tests that gave brutally honest conclusions to your test results.

For example, if I were to fill one of those personallity things out I would love to see the following answers pop up:

1. "We are sorry, you must first HAVE a personality in order to take this test. Please come back when you get one".

2. "After reviewing your answers to our Personality Test we here at Personality Testers sincerly hope you have a lot of money, you will need it to PURCHASE whatever friends you might need in your life".

IQ tests are just as bad....Just once, when I took one of those things I would love to see REALLY honest answers...Maybe like this:

1. "Dear Tor, after reviewing your answers on our IQ Test we have determined that you are a scientific marvel. We have never had a brain damaged monkey fill out one of these things before".

2. "We here at IQ Testers.com feel that with a lot of work and study, you should be able to raise your current IQ level to that of a turnip.....good luck!"
********************************

Well, I think my work here is done. Mel just informed me that I have lost breakfast privilages for the rest of the month, thanks to my little blog....geeze some people just can't take a joke! LOL!
January 20, 2006 at 10:50pm
January 20, 2006 at 10:50pm
#400986
"Invalid Entry is now ready to read. I think all of you will enjoy this issue, I convinced our very own Scarlett to be the guest editor.

Please drop me a note and let me know how you like the newsletter and if you have any suggestions to make it better let me know.
January 20, 2006 at 12:42pm
January 20, 2006 at 12:42pm
#400852
I like that title. It says so very much to each of us, you know. In my business, the laugh and the smile are two of my most important assets.

I greet people.

That is my job...they walk in the door and I am the first person they see so I have to greet them with a smile. They have to believe, in that first moment they pass through our portals, that I am actually HAPPY to see them.

This is not an easy job.

Everyone who walks through our doors comes burdened with baggage. You have no idea where they have been before they come to the store, what kind of day they've had, or wither or not they have had some traumatic happening in their lives....but ya gotta smile at them.

To some of my customers, getting smiled at is a foreign experience....nobody who really knows them ever smiles when they see them coming....except me.

I smile.

I make them believe that it has made my day, just seeing them stomp through the doors with a scowl plastered permanently on their faces.

The thing is....the smile I project is not only for them, it is for me also.

The smile is the greatest form of defence known to mankind, especially when coupled with a "Walter Mitty" style imagination.

Let me give you an example of how that works....

Two women walked into the store. Both ladies were very nice looking, in fact one of them could have been a model, she was really beautiful. Like I do everyone else, I smiled and said. "Good morning, ladies. Welcome to Wal-Mart".

The real beauty of the two looked at me like I was something that needed to be scraped off the bottom of her shoe and muttered, "Whatever".

Now a response like that, outside of work, would have garnered her a bit of a tongue lashing by me, but I can't do that at work so I just smiled even bigger and I imagined her standing there in front of me with a huge zit in the middle of her forehead and one boob three inches lower than the other.

Works every time...my smile widened almost to the breaking point and she, along with her friend, continued on into the store, both a bit confused that their snub did not have the desired effect.

Then there is the case of the loud mouthed teenagers. These usually travel in packs and when they come in the store I am usually greeted with such pithy, smart statements like: "Oh look, the Old Greeter dude!"

"Hi Old Dude!"

I just smile, say good morning and as they pass me heading into the store I imagine tossing a granade into thier midst, hearing them scream like girls and then watching them fly through the air when the granade goes off.....ahhhh...the smile gets even bigger!

Of course the Smile Defense is many times aided by the "Give em what they want" defense.

I use this primarily with folks who don't want to take the time to let me put a sticker on their returns...that is another part of my job. You see, when folks bring stuff back for a return, they have to stop at the door and let me put a sticker on the items. This tells the people at the Service Desk that these customers did, in fact, walk in the door with said items.

(believe it or not, folks will walk in, grab an item off the shelf and then try to go to the return desk with it in an effort to get something for nothing).

When faced with some idiot who is in too big a hurry or is not familiar with our procedure and wants to just blow past me and on to the service desk I will stop them and explain why I need to mark their merchindise. If they refuse, which they sometimes do, I just SMILE and tell them "It's okay, you do whatever you want....you're the customer".

Then I watch as they proceed onward to the Service Desk, stand in line for maybe 10minutes, finally get up to the desk...only to be turned around and told that without my sticker, they get no refund!!

I smile my best smile as they come stomping back to where I am standing....

"Oh," I exclaim in mock surprise. "Did you decide you needed a sticker after all?"

Oh let me tell you...those moments are soooo sweet!

Now, before you get the wrong idea, these examples I have put forth here are the exception and not really the norm. I have some really nice customers who I see every day. Many will stop and pass the time, tell me about family members, ask how my day is going.

They have become, if not friends, friendly aquaintances. I truly enjoy their company and will go out of my way to help any of them. It is just that small minority of rude, crude, nasty customer that makes me wish, from time to time, that they allowed us to carry guns and paid a bounty on idiots!
January 18, 2006 at 10:51pm
January 18, 2006 at 10:51pm
#400409
Our position in life is always changing, in fact change is the only real constant in the lives of all humans.

I remember when I was a child and I did something special or made a good grade, I always ran home to share the news with my mother and father. They were the constant in my life as a child. They were always there for me to share whatever was on my mind or to brag to when I had accomplished some childish "first" in my life.

As I grew older my circle of confidants grew to include friends, schoolmates, but still mom and dad remained the center of my universe.

As I grew into adulthood it never really crossed my mind what my world would be like without those two people in it. It was not until I had reached my mid-thirties that the reality of life's changes struck home to me.

My Father died.

Suddenly I could see how all our family, my brother, his family, myself and my kids, various aunts and uncles had shared one constant....my mom and dad. With dad gone it felt as if an anchor had torn loose and the family was in peril of drifting apart....it was my mom who still held us close together.

Almost two years ago Mom died.

It was then that I became aware of the vast sea-change our family had undergone. A generation had died. The two people who had been at the center of so many lives were now gone and what was there to take their place.

Now I understand that the great change has overcome me wither I am ready or not. Now my brother and I are the anchors for our children and their children. We are the oldest of the generations of McClains now. Now we have no one to run to...they run to us now and someday change will strike again and our sons and daughters will be the oldest generation left alive and others will turn to them, will look to them.

The only thing constant is change and that is a good thing, I believe. This is our time and soon enough someone else will be sitting down and trying to remember when WE were the center of their universe.

So it is with life.
January 16, 2006 at 5:42pm
January 16, 2006 at 5:42pm
#399854
As most of you know by now, I tend to over think things. Your first hint of this is the intro to my blog: "Things that bump around in my head and makes me go....hummm!"

That pretty much says it all and today was no exception. At work today I began to mull over something that I found quite fascinating.

At what point, in the history of mankind, did we first become aware of the emotion of Love? How did we define what we were feeling and what did we do about it?

I mean, have you ever thought about it? We know that the emotion of love was around and recognized as such during the time of Shakespeare, God knows he wrote volumes on the subject. Love was also around during the time of Homer. He too used Love as a theme in the Iliad.

Okay, am I the only one who has ever wondered WHEN this emotion which drives many of us on a daily basis first came into our minds? Who was the first person to equate the FEELING of love with the organ, the heart? How on earth did they make that leap? Who decided first that the heart could be broken?

Did the discovery actually happen in the dawn of Man's existence, during pre-historic times?

I envision it happening maybe something like this:

It is nighttime in the Neander Valley, near present day Duesseldorf, Germany about 125,000 years ago. Two companions, Ugh and Ook sat around their campfire in their cave, finishing off a couple of Mammoth burgers when Ugh turns to Ook and says:

“I say, Ook, old man, something is decidedly amiss with me.”

Ook just stares at Ugh: BLINK, BLINK. (Authors note: It is suspected that this Ook fellow was the first known ancestor of our very own CC but we lack definitive scientific data to be sure.)

Ugh, use to his friends lack of verbosity, continued. He clutched his chest and said. “I seem to have distinct discomfort here in my upper chest, in the region of my circulatory pump which I have decided to call my ’Heart’. I believe that I have just experienced something I call Lust and it could be that this painful Lust may indeed be a precursor to LOVE! At least that is what I will call it.” (yes, they really did talk like this but had yet to figure out how to write on cave walls using the pictures of bison and deer.)

Now there again is no scientific evidence to support the theory, but many believe that it was about a week after this incident that the very first Pre-Historic Bar was opened by another entrepreneurial genius who lived in the next cave, as a place for Ugh, Ook and his buddies to find women.

There you have it....the discovery of LOVE. What do you think? Did it go like that or was it different? How did this great discovery of the emotion come to the woman of the species, did it come the same way or was there a difference?


SEE, I TOLD YOU I TEND TO OVERTHINK STUFF!

January 15, 2006 at 6:28pm
January 15, 2006 at 6:28pm
#399630
Okay, I just have to share this with all of you. A few might remember my last blog entry where I told about getting an Xbox 360 for Christmas. Well I got 14 replies to that blog entry and one which just made my day, not to mention Mel who laughed her butt off.

jessiegirl left me the reply in question. In part, she said: "I'm sorry, Tor, but I find the image of someone older than 17 playing an X-Box 360 not only interesting, but DOWNRIGHT HILARIOUS"

Well, Mel was sitting here next to me as I read this reply and she started laughing and laughing as I grabbed my chest in mock pain and cried, "Oh, that hoit! I am so like..... crushed!"

I had to admit...Jessie got me with that one but Jessie, sweetie, if you thought that was hilarious, then I got a story to tell you that will make you fall out of your chair laughing at the old guy.......

This is more under the heading of the Mind/Body conflict, by the way.

Some years back when I was shortly over the 40 year mark, my oldest son took up an new hobby. He was quite excited when he came to visit me to tell me about his newest obsession. He had taken up Paintball competition.

Now for those of you unfamiliar with Paintball let me explain. This is a game where a bunch of people arm themselves with weird looking guns that shoot small, round, pellets filled with paint at each other.

There are many different types of games the teams can play, anything from “capture the flag” to “last man standing” where everyone shoots everyone else. All the games are a military style format and the contestants usually dress in military style camouflage clothing and wear goggles to protect the eyes.

Well the more he talked about this thing, the more excited I got. HELL, I CAN DO THIS......That was what my brain was telling me. WHOA, COWBOY, YOU AIN’T NO SPRING CHICKEN ANYMORE...Of course that was my body’s tiny voice which, as you know, I rarely listen to anyway.

My son was less than enthusiastic when I informed him that the next time his buddies got together, I wanted to come along and give this a try. I went out and bought the protective gear and a brand new Paintball gun and a whole case of ammo. I WAS READY!

I figured I had this thing aced, after all, I had all the personal experience which none of them had....I had done this sort of thing with REAL guns for God’s sake.

That weekend I drove out to the field where the guys were meeting to play Paintball. The “Field” consisted of a large open area with old cars and junk placed about for cover for the two teams and it also had about twenty acres of forest where the two teams could hunt each other and set ambushes....I LOVED this part.
The first thing the guys did was chose up sides and I couldn’t believe how much grumbling my son did when he was informed that HE had to take me on his team. Well I was about to make him sorry for that, let me tell you.

First game we played was going to be one of those “Capture the Flag” things. Each team left two men with their own flag then the rest of each team went off to try to capture the other’s flag. Each team had six players so we left two good shots with our own flag and me and three other guys went in search of the opposing team’s flag.

Of course my son, who was the team leader of our team tried to get me to hang back when we discovered the other flag....AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN! I informed him.

After a few moments of scouting out the terrain, I informed my son that he and the others could just hang back if they wanted to...I could do this on my own. I tried to ignore the three sets of eyes rolling to the heavens. I mean, really, what do KIDS know about this sort of thing? Leave it to the experts!

I told my son that if he wanted to be helpful, he and his buddies should lay down some covering fire for me when I “attack”.

“Try to keep their heads down,” I told him smugly, “and I will do the rest.”

Well my teammates opened up on the enemy with a healthy barrage of paintballs which were splattering all along the front of their cover...which was two old rusted out cars and I started my attack!

While the enemy was busy dodging paint, I sprinted across about twenty yards of open ground, firing from the hip as I ran. OH, THIS BROUGHT BACK MEMORIES! My destination was a lone pine tree to the left of their position. I reached that only mildly winded and I yelled at my teammates to pour on the fire, I was ready for the final part of the attack.

From my vantage point, behind the tree, I could see the two guys guarding the flag trying to divide their fire between me and the rest of the team....it was now or never!

I sprinted out behind the tree at full speed. I could hear the paintballs whizzing by my head as I ran. My vision had tunneled down to the edge of the enemy’s cover, my destination. As I neared the end of the old car I began the move that would be the Coup de Grace for the enemy.

I was at the very back edge of the far left car when I went into a forward summersault. That was supposed to carry me into the midst of the enemy who would be so stunned by this move they would freeze for just a precious second allowing me to come up on my feet, firing point blank into their midst!

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL MOVE.......if it had worked.

I “Summered.”...I know that much. A perfect flip in midair! But, something happened in the middle of the move and my “Sault” failed to materialize. Instead of landing on my feet, to the left of the enemy and firing my gun, I landed to the left of them....right on the top of my head and one shoulder!

So there I was, laying flat on my back at the feet of the opposing force. Not only did I have the wind knocked out of me but my gun had gone flying, God knows where. I lay there, unable to breathe, looking up into the bemused faces of the enemy and hearing the hoots and jeers of my teammates behind me.

The two guys looked at me....I looked up at them...they looked at each other grinning....I raised my hand for help....THEY BOTH EMPTIED THEIR PAINT GUN INTO MY PRONE BODY!!!

I looked like I had been crapped on by a whole flock of Peacocks! They just kept shooting and laughing....then my teammates joined them and THEY began shooting me and laughing!!

All I could do was lay there and try to cover my man-parts (those damn paintballs STING).

After everybody had emptied their guns, they took pity on me and helped me up. I discovered later that I had a separated shoulder and a half-dozen strained muscles...Not to mention a mortally wounded ego!

That was the end of my Paintball experience!

See, Jessie, playing X box ain’t nothing when compared to some of my other misadventures!

January 14, 2006 at 7:25pm
January 14, 2006 at 7:25pm
#399410
This is merely an Advertising Entry since I have already done my blog for today.

For those of you who have not done so yet, here is the link to the latest issue of The Blogville Weekly news...

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January 14, 2006 at 1:35pm
January 14, 2006 at 1:35pm
#399346
Well "Invalid Entry is done for another week. If you have not read the latest issue of the Blogville Weekly then please take this opportunity to check it out.

I just finished reading the latest issue of BANG and my ribs still hurt from all that laughing. Do yourself a favor and give that a read when you can.
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#991733 by Not Available.


***************************************

For Christmas this year my dear mother-in-law gave me an Xbox 360. Now for those of you who don't keep up with games like this one I will tell you that the 360 is the latest word in Game Consoles. It is actually a computer in its own right, with a harddrive and everything. When you play a game made for the 360 it is like watching TV, the figures are so life-like.

I know, I know, you are wondering when I will ever grow up and leave these game things behind. Well, I'm happy to report that I am nowhere near that point in my life yet.

I'm sorry, but there is nothing in the world like coming home from a hard day's work, putting up with the jerks at Wal-Mart and being able to relieve my tension and furstration by shooting something or blowing up something.

I had planned on getting it eventually myself and I told Mel, before Christmas, to just put it on lay-away and we would pay it out....$400.00.

My Mother-in-Law was visiting us for the holidays and was with Mel when she attempted to put it on layaway. She stood quietly at Mel's side at the counter as Mel tried to put the thing on Layaway. Mel was having trouble getting it done because the clerk was telling her it was not an item that could be put on layaway. It seems that because there were so few of them avaliable, they were not allowing that, you had to buy it outright.

Well, I had already talked to the manager and she had assured me we could, in fact, do it this way but she had failed to inform the clerk.

Now my mom-in-law is very deaf and she stood there trying to follow Mel's argument with the clerk and then she turned to Mel and said:

"What seems to be the trouble?"

Mel explained, in a loud voice, what was going on and that she was not going to be able to put the game on Layaway. To which mom retorted:

"Well that's just silly, here let me just buy the thing for you".

Problem solved.

I came home that night to find it sitting under the Christmas tree....I LOVE THAT WOMAN!

Yes, I know, I should have outgrown things like that long ago...but I haven't. In so many ways I am still a damn kid I guess. Well, that's who I am.....a middle-aged kid who refuses to act his age. Hopefully I will die while still in that state.

My favorite quote: "Youth is wasted on the Young".
January 13, 2006 at 6:17pm
January 13, 2006 at 6:17pm
#399171
It seems that there is a very good byproduct to Mel leaving me alone here on Friday's...I have finished the latest issue of The Blogville Weekly News a day early for the second week in a row.

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#1054725 by Not Available.



WELL, DON'T JUST SIT THERE, GO READ!!!
January 13, 2006 at 3:03pm
January 13, 2006 at 3:03pm
#399087
Today I will be working on the Newsletter so this will be a short entry. I want to take this opportunity to thank zwisis for the great merit badge she gave me for Journaling.... Merit Badge in Journaling
[Click For More Info]

Your journal/blog is one of the most successful and active on this site.  You cover a wide range of subjects and encourage debate between other journallers and readers.  You are unfraid to voice your opinion, and you are an inspiration to many of your fellow bloggers.

I am not sure I could ever live up to her kind words she sent along with the badge but I still thank her from the bottom of my heart.

This week, in the Newsletter I am featuring the first of what I hope will be many guest editors. The first guest editor is sentimente and for those of you who have not yet discovered this writer....please visit his port and his blog, you will not be disappointed. He has sent in his article and it is a great one and has something of revelance to all bloggers.

**************************************

I want to also thank everyone who replied to my last entry. The idea of a short story anthology intrigued me and I know there are many roadblocks to actually doing it...legal questions and the like...but I would love to see a book filled with nothing but the writings of WDC members, many of which have been overlooked by the mainstream publishing outlets.

Maybe...someday.

Okay...time for me to get my nose back to the grindstone and get the newsletter ready for tomorrow. In the course of the day I usually read twenty or so blogs, looking for people to feature in the newsletter and I don't have the time to reply to all those I read but I promise to try harder and leave a few more replies next week...bear with me, this is all new to me...LOL!

Before I go....DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO MAKE A LINKING HEADER WHICH I CAN USE FOR THE NEWSLETTER????

Ok, I'm out...take care and be good to each other.
January 12, 2006 at 1:41pm
January 12, 2006 at 1:41pm
#398846
Today I want to throw a couple of things out for your input. Please leave me your opinion.

First of all I want to tell you about a weird quirk of mine and see if anyone else has this problem or is it just me. When I write a blog entry or a new story I have to never talk about it before hand. If I mention the story or entry content to anyone else then I find it almost impossible to write. Is that weird or what?

Take, for instance, this blog entry I was planning to write. I was going to do it yesterday and couldn't, then I tried again today and it still would not come out. The entry was a follow-up to my Mind/body conflict thing I wrote about the other day. I had mentioned, the other day in that entry that there were a couple of other instances that I could relate...never should have said that. Then I told Mel about both episodes I wanted to write about .... never should have done that either....now they won't come out.

It seems that for me to write something I can never talk about it first. It is as if, knowning people are expecting the story then I suddenly am afraid that it will be a disappointment. When I actually start to write it the story sounds stiff and contrived and not near as good as when it was in my head and unknown to anyone else and I just have to leave it alone.

DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE TO ANYONE? Am I just weird or do anyone else have a problem like that when it comes to what they write?
*****************************************

The second thing I would like your input on is an idea that came to me just today. I was talking to PlannerDan on the phone...had to check up on my buddy..and he made the comment that there were so many really talented writers on WDC.

Well, of course I agreed with him, then it suddenly came to me....Wouldn't it be great if we could put together a book of short stories written by many different members here on WDC!

An anthology of short stories featuring maybe three stories from each of maybe twenty different writers along with a brief bio of each writer. We would publish it online just like I am doing my own collection of short stories. What do you think?

What are the pros and cons of attempting this or is it even a doable project? Let me hear your ideas.
January 10, 2006 at 7:30pm
January 10, 2006 at 7:30pm
#398429
I had every intention of setting forth, here on the blog page another prime example of the Mind/body conflict which I have been through but I got sidetracked.

It seems that yesterday that dang CC followed me around all day...from blog to blog and threw all these nasty insults at me. I can't believe he did that, can you?

I mean all I have ever been is nice to him and what do I get back......FLAPPAGE, that's what I get.

In spite of all that I will show you what a stand-up guy I am. If any of you read CC's blog today (are your ears still bleeding?)well you saw that he was whining and snotting about what to clean out and stuff to make his dial-up work better....

CC I am going to help you with that, just to show you who is the better man. I will put aside all your thoughtless attacks on my person and I will extend the hand of friendship and aid to you in your hour of need.
Here is all you have to do...Go to the WDC homepage and then hit ALT F4.....all your troubles will be over!

(quick, someone look...is he buying this?)

If I know him he will come in here and attack me some more...I wouldn't be surprised to see his old buddy, P-Danny jump in and help him either. You guys remember P-Danny don't you...better known as PlannerDan

Okay, I think I will just sit back now and see if buckethead follows my advise....THIS SHOULD GOOD!
January 9, 2006 at 5:54pm
January 9, 2006 at 5:54pm
#398102
Yesterday I read an excellent blog entry by susanL . She wrote about not feeling old enough to have an 18 year old daughter and I had to laugh. You see that is the perfect example of the mind/body conflict which rages in most of us and usually begins somewhere in our 30's.

You see the mind is a very devious organ. the mind sees the world through rose colored glasses, it has a distorted vision of reality and it spends every waking hour trying to convince your body that age is simply an illusion.

The body, on the other hand, is pragmatic. It lives in the here and now and it recognizes that the passage of time has a detrimental effect upon it. The body is constantly arguing with the brain, trying to convince the wayward organ that it would be best to live within its means as time goes by.

The brain ain't buying it!

Thus we have this war being fought on a daily basis within each of us and many times it is the body who loses...in more ways than one, I might add.

I remember the first time this conflict surfaced within myself. I was thirty. It was at the weekly football game. You see in our little town it was once a weekly event....a large group of guys, from the age of 18 to about 25 would gather each Sunday afternoon on the school football field for an impromptu game of Touch Football. Of course the "touch" usually ended up being a full-blown game of tackle.

On any given Sunday you could witness a group of young men flying across the field, throwing their bodies at each other....all without the aid of protective gear of any kind. It looked more like a Rugby match than American Football.

Well, when I came home from the service I was a fixture at these games. I never missed a Sunday. That is until my work schedule forced me to leave it behind. I spent years working on every Sunday. The game became a distant memory for me and my little brother kind of took my place on the playing field.

Then, shortly after my 30th birthday I caught a break! My job changed and all at once I had Sunday's off again. Well that very first Sunday I woke up and my brain yelled at me:

"HEY DUFUS, ITS SUNDAY! WE CAN GO PLAY FOOTBALL AGAIN!"

Well at the time I was aware of a tiny voice there in the background of my head, voicing concern over jumping back into a game after years of non-exercise....but the brain would not listen.

"Never mind the thirty extra pounds you are packing," my brain cooed with confidence.
"What about the two pack a day habit and the whole no exercise thing?" the little voice whispered.

But it was too late. I already had my shorts, my lucky football jersey and my tennis-shoes on and was headed out the door.

Well when I got there the game was already underway and I had to wait until someone else showed up so that the teams would be even. Finally another fool made an appearance and I was IN THE GAME!

My little brother, who was captain of his team (that was my old position!), chose the OTHER guy and of course that ticked me off....I'd show em, I stewed.

First play in which I was in for was a kickoff. We were kicking the ball to my brother's team. Now the kickoffs use to be my favorite part of the game. Two teams running full blast at each other, throwing their bodies through the air with abandon either trying to stop the ball carrier or trying to clear a path for him. I LOVED THAT!

So I went charging down the field with all the grace and speed of a water buffalo with a bum leg....funny, I had didn't remember the field being so long.....

As I ran full out toward the other team members I was having a hard time keeping my lungs from heaving up through my mouth and out onto the ground and this kind of impaired my vision....anyway....I was zeroed in on the ball carrier who had seen me barreling in his direction. I knew he saw me because the young smart-aleck was grinning and pointing as he ran!

I would soon wipe that grin off his pimply face, I swore.

Well like I said, my vision must have been impaired as I didn't see, until the last moment, my brother charging in at me from the side. Well as soon as I became aware of the impending collision, I knew what I had to do. I had to take him out, thus striping the ball carrier's blockers and making it possible for my teammates to make the tackle!

As my brother reached me, instead of trying to side-step him, I lunged at his knees, intent on bringing him down along with myself and opening a hole for the others....AND I DID IT!

Unfortunately I had forgotten two little things. First of all...my brother was 6' 5' and weighed, at the time, 325 pounds! Secondly I forgot that when you do this move it is imperative that you move fast enough not to get crushed by a falling body.

I never moved after hitting him...mainly because I couldn't. It was like hitting a wall....then the wall FELL ON ME. 325 pounds of him....straight down into my chest....knees first.

For a fleeting moment after his knees struck my chest I had the distinct impression that I had actually been driven BELOW ground level. Then I thought, for a moment, that we were under attack because I heard three loud POPS! It sounded just like someone was firing a .22 rifle somewhere close.

Well it was close....it was in me...it was three of my ribs cracking! I was carried unceremoniously to the side line and dumped in a heap. My dear, caring brother told me to lay there and rest and he would give me a ride to the ER as soon as they reached half time.....TOUGH CROWD.

What followed was three weeks of me being almost immobilized with pain. That was the FIRST time my dang mind tried to convince my body that we were still 19 and tough and strong but it was not the last by far. Well I was going to tell you about the second time but this has run long enough so I will leave you here. Maybe tomorrow I will tell you about that second time....it was worse.

The thing is....our minds are continually telling us we are up to challenges which our bodies are woefully unprepared for, this is not new. Not just physical challenges either...there's the whole opposite sex thing the brain deludes us about....THAT WILL DEFINATELY WAIT UNTIL LATER!

I'm done....I need to do something constructive. I just had a thought....I think I will go watch one of my favorite movies. You know the one with Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones. Yeah, that's the ticket! I need to watch a movie where the old guy gets the beautiful girl...Don't mind me, its just my dang brain trying to delude my body again...GAWD!

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