%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |   On a daily basis... things that bump around in my head and make me go... hummm! |
My new blog:
This is not just a collections of personal musing but it is a place where I can vent. Talking about daily events on the local, state, and national scene is my way of letting off steam so I don't come home and kick the dog! We are all the Captain of our own "Ship of Fools." We go where the current of the times take us and we do what we must to be able to sleep at night. Now this Captain will speak his mind about that current and about the ocean on which we each sail....... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** {image: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** PLEASE MAIL ME YOUR VOTE FOR BLOGGER OF THE MONTH OF AUGUST. This is a shot of Me and Mel at our wedding. We were married in a simple ceremony on a deck overlooking Lake Livingston. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I am so proud of my new Siggy which was made by the very talented vivacious   . Thank you so very much for all the effort that went into this.** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This was taken from the wall in the Blogville Post Office. If you see this fugitive, please do not approach, he is armed and stupid. Contact the Blogville sheriff's office at once, then take cover! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** } ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Why do we Blog? There are as many different reasons for blogging as there are bloggers I believe. Some write a day to day Journal (Dan's word)which describes the day the writer has had. Some Bloggers write on philosophical subjects or political theories, pro and con. Some write funny/touching/uplifting stories from their pasts and some write a combination of all of these. One thing bloggers have in common, they have a love of the written word and they all have a need to express that love by writing. One exception to this rule is, of course, ccstring whose first love is painting and doesn't even realize how well he does write. It seems rather unreal when I consider it, but up until about six months ago I neither knew what a blog was or did I even know that WDC had a place to do one. I staggered in here quite by accident one day while just puttering about the site. Now I had heard people talk about "Blogs" but I really had no clue as to how to do it or what it even was supposed to look like.....but it was writing so therefor I was curious. Could I do this? It was a challenge for me and even though I am an old codger, I still love a good challenge. Now after reading a number of blogs I had some idea what I wanted to do. I wanted to write a blog that closely resembled a daily column in a newspaper. I wanted to inform and entertain readers. From time to time I also wanted to get up on my soapbox and say what I really felt. This is the type of blog I decided I wanted. Well I had some really tough acts to follow with my little blog...zwisis was one of the first blogs I ever read that did it the way I WANTED to do a blog and to this day I have never seen anyone who did it better. Add to that the blog of PlannerDan  and I was fairly apprensive as to how my own poor blog would be recieved. I need not have been worried, these two wonderfully talented people along with all those others there on the left of this page welcomed me wholeheartedly and gave me tons of encouragement.Yes, this blog page of WDC is a wonderful place and a place where serious writers can practice their love of this art form but it is only a part of what we do and what we are. I believe that every member of this site shares one major dream...to be published. That is our main goal. The thing is, that many of us have zeroed in on the blog page and we have let the rest of our writing slide a bit...at least I have. It really is time to do something about that. I see by my calender that I have only a few days left before the end of the month and if I continue on the way I have been I will have an ALL BLUE MONTH. I think I want to do this...make the month blue. Then, beginning next month, I want to cut back my blog entries to maybe Friday and Saturday. I want to do this mainly because I want to make a conserted push with my other writings. Maureen O'Loughlin was kind enough to send me a long list of contests where my short stories could be sent and I have decided to enter each of those contests.....that means I got some work to do getting the stories ready. I also want to get "Time of Troubles....a complete novel"  ready to send off to a real publishing company....its time for me to collect a new batch of rejection notices.So......here I have sat and used a ton of words to say something very simple: Next month I will not be blogging everyday. I will instead spend November getting as much of my writing as I can out in front of the public. I will keep you updated on how it goes. I am not going to stop blogging by any means, just cutting back while I do other stuff. I will still be reading and commenting on my favorites, and I will be trying to keep Mel and CC in line too. I'm not going ANYWHERE...but I do need to work on stuff. Now just a note of thanks here to Forever, PlannerDan, Nada and Hubbyspeaks....I have listed to all your words and that is what has made me decide to make a push with my work. |
| Those of you who have read Mel aka Mrs Tor blog entry today (and by the stats it looks like a bunch of you have read the dang thing) you know that she felt the need to kinda fling some words at me in the form of that little story about the age issues I had when we met. I felt like I needed to come in here and kind of defend myself after reading her blog. You see, it wasn't my fault! I was totally innocent! It was the complete fault of my youngest son who was 14 at the time. You see, as I have told in past blogs, I got the internet for him in the first place. Personally I always used the computer like a typewriter on steroids and I had no clue what the World Wide Web was, nor did I even want to know; hell for all I knew it was just one giant spider! Well, I got the internet and when I wasn't using the computer to write my stories, Rick (guilty son) would be on the thing talking to people and stuff. I really paid very little attention to what he did online. Then, one day he came up to my desk as I sat typing on a story and he begin bugging me about going online. Well, knowing my son as I did, I knew he was not going to let up on me until I gave it a try so I reluctantly hit the button to begin the dial-up process. After I was connected, Rick began to walk me through the whole process of signing up for an email address and creating my MSN profile...THAT WAS MY DOWNFALL! I was like an innocent lamb when it came to that stuff and as I filled out the nessary fields I actually TOLD THE TRUTH! Well the whole time I was doing this my son was standing behind me making disapproving noises and shaking his head and when I put my CORRECT age down in the required spot he exploded.... "NO, NO, DAD!" He yelled. "You can't tell them the truth." "Uh....and why can't I?" I asked him. "Because no woman in her right mind is gonna talk to some ancient old foggy who is over the age of 50, that's why." I had to laugh. You see my baby boy was at that age where he decided it was time for the old man to have some female companionship. I guess he figured if I was "hooked up" as the kids say, then I wouldn't have so much spare time to keep a close eye on him. For about a year he had been trying to fix me up with teachers, neighbors, parents of his friends and even strangers in the grocery store. It had become quite annoying to try to thwart the efforts of this junior league Cupid and I guess, in hindsight, I should have seen this coming, but I didn't. I had no idea, at the time, that online was a place to meet the opposite sex, I was totally ignorant of what went on there. He wanted me to put my age as 25....I damn near choked at that idea so I compromised...I put down 48 and I felt bad about doing it too, afterall I was 51 for god's sake...I hated trying to be what I was not, but at least it shut him up. "Oh well," he sighed, "Maybe you will find some girl who likes old men. Tell them you're rich!" "NO!" I shouted. He relented and accepted that the age change was as far as I was going to go. Well I got my profile and I reluctantly went into a chat room.....BAM! I left that damn thing faster than hot butter through a duck! I could not believe what was going on in those rooms, I mean I had been in there two minutes when this dang woman "whispered" me and asked: "Hey baby, you wanna Cyber?" I scratched my head in confusion and then typed in the little window: "I guess so, how do you do that?" Well she actually told me.....I DANG NEAR FAINTED RIGHT THERE AT MY DESK! Needless to say I skeedaddled out of there fast! But, I had enjoyed actually interacting with folks from all over the world so I decided to see if there was a place I could go that wasn't quite so raunchy....well I finally foud a room that was nice and the folks actually talked to each other and exchanged IDEAS and not make believe body fluids. Months passed and I had actually forgotten that damn profile and I had met some really nice people online, Mel's friend was one of them. When the lady introduced me to Mel.....well it was like lightning had struck me. After she said: "Hello David" I was lost! Then, a few days after that first long conversation....it dawned on me...SHE THINKS I AM 48! The last thing in the world I wanted was to be dishonest with this woman. OMG, what would she do if I told her the awful truth....she would probably call me an old pervert and never speak to me again! I had to tell her the truth but I kept putting it off, I was so afraid of losing her....finally I bit the bullet and I told her. My heart was in my throat for a few seconds after I finally spilled the beans. I just knew she was gonna kick me to the curb! But she didn't. She DID chew me out for almost causing her heart failure, but then she disolved into the most beautiful laughter I have ever heard in my life. So there you have my story....I was a victim of circumstance I tell ya! The upshot of this is that not only did I fall in love with the woman, but I fell in love with her wonderful sense of humor and her laugh...it was magical...Like the voice of an angel singing. So now I still love to make her laugh, just so I can hear that angel sing again. |
| Like Forever remarked today there have been many bloggers who have written really wonderful, yet introspective blogs for our reading enjoyment. So why should I be any different? Actually I had a very traumatic event happen today that has caused me to re-evaluate my present and wonder a bit about my future. After about fifteen minutes of extreme introspection I developed a monster headache, took two advil and decided to write down here some of the things I have discovered about myself. First of all let me explain the traumatic thing that occurred that triggered this self inspection. I came home from work and, as I always do on Sunday, I checked the lotto numbers for the Texas Lottery that happens each Saturday night. I had picked a record low one number right. I set for a moment and stared in dejection at the now useless piece of paper which held my numbers and also reaffirmed my position in the social structure of Bubbaville, then I dropped the offending message of ill tidings into the trash bin. It was then that I was forced to do a quick inventory of my options and preview my future....... I have discovered a few hard truths today. Here is just a portion of my list of "Things I will never be." 1. I will never be the proud owner of a solid gold bass boat and a triple-wide, split-level mobile home. 2. I will never be on Hugh Heffner's party A list. 3. Slinky, sluty, beautiful, 20something women will never stare at the bulge of my wallet with that wild, lusty, "I'm gonna rock his world" look usually reserved for frail, RICH, middle aged men they see as a target of opportunity. 4. I will never write the Great American Novel. 5. Stephen King will never be heard to remark: "Damn that Tor, how does he do it? Why do I even try?" You see, my friends, what a horrid and barren future awaits me. How can I possibly go on with nothing to hope for? Glad you asked. After accepting the truth in this list of all these things I will never have or experience, I decided to think about what I have or might have in the future that maybe will counterbalance all this bad news. 1. I know the joy of sitting on the river bank, on a bright summer morning and watching my cork float lazily on the surface of the water as my worm coaxes a big catfish to take a bite. You can't get that kind of "Quiet Time" while speeding over the water in a big bass boat. 2. I will always be on the A-List of the local Volunteer Fire Department's annual Barbeque and Fish Fry, a party where you don't go to be "seen" but where you go to visit with friends, have fun and maybe raise some money that might save a life later on. 3. Though I will never have those "sluty" 20 something women eyeing my wallet in a covetous manner what I will have is a beautiful 50 something woman looking into my eyes with complete and unconditional love. Not a bad trade off as far as I'm concerned. 4. Though I will not write the Great American Novel......I will write and I will be content with my words on the page. 5. Stephen King will never say those things but my grandkids will beg to read my short stories and they will point me out to their little friends and say: "That's my granddad, he writes really good stories." Makes me kinda feel sorry for Mr. King. So there you have it....My list of Five things I will never have and Five things that make my life livable. |
| Once again reading my fellow bloggers entries before I write my own has paid off for me. Today I read zwisis great blog about horses. In her blog she stated that she hated to think about the harm that horses had come to as a servent of mankind. She was speaking of having watched a western and the number of horses "killed" in the movie which of course happened in real life during that time. This got me to thinking about the dichotomy of the relationship between the horse and man, not only during the old west times, but even today. An example of this: Horses were used, in the west during the 19th century much the same as we today use the automobile. It was a beast of burden and a means of travel. As such, the horse would often be subject to misuse and death on a daily basis. This was the same all over the world at that time but I choose to only write about how it was in a place I know more about. Now, taking all this in mind, one must also look at the punishment for anyone caught stealing a horse during that time.....death by hanging. You could steal a man's money, his land, or even his wife and get a prison term....but you steal his horse and you die. You would think, the horse being merely a beast of burden, the penalty for stealing one would not be so harsh...but it was. This leads me to believe that the horse was more to the rancher or cowboy than merely a tool of the trade. I can also speak from personal experience on this subject as well. I was raised on a farm and got a horse when I turned 13. I worked on a ranch in my spare time from school and during the summers and my horse was essential in that work. But, like the cowboys long before me, I forged a relationship with my horse. She was not just a tool of the trade, she was my best friend. I could tell her things I could never share with another human being and she would listen. She would perk her ears forward as I talked to her and her large brown eyes would remain rivited on me as I spoke. Sometimes she would reach out and nuzzle me with her nose as if she actually understood my words and was offering her support. Now I think I was raised much the same as kids had been back in the 19th century. I was taught that animals were never pets...they had to have jobs to live at our house. That didn't stop me from forging a personal bond with my horse though and I think this same bond was commonly formed by those men so long ago, they just never talked about it. Yes, horses died serving man but I truely believe that when this happened, at least in the part of the world I know something about, their owners grieved for them as though they had lost a real friend....again, they just rarely spoke of it. So we loved horses, we used horses and they took us to great heights and allowed us to accomplish great things......and they were revered when they died and I hope that counts for something. |
| Off Subject....I would like to thank everyone who replied to my last blog entry. I would like to say that I agree with you all. Dreams are dreams and nothing more to me. The thing that made this particular dream worth commenting on was the fact that it lasted all night and was continued after those waking moments during the night. It was also noteworthy because I had never had a dream that involved before. I believe that dreams are a wonderful place to draw inspiration from for future stories and many of my stories stem from dreams I have had. ********************************* Now, on to my subject for the day....THANK YOU PLANNERDAN FOR YOUR LAST TWO BLOG ENTRIES. Dan has made me pause and give quite a bit of thought to my own dreams and goals conserning my writing. Incidently, Forever and I touched upon this very subject while talking yesterday. I have struggled off and on over the years with the subject of Self-Publishing Vs. Mainstream Publishing. Early on I think I was turned off on the idea of self publishing because of the name used to describe this action...VANITY PUBLISHING. I didn't like that name, it smacked of an over active ego and I hate that image. It always struck me as rather a negative thing. The name implied that the person using this service was not good enough to be published in mainstream and rather than accepting that judgement, that author self published just so they could call themselves a Published Author. After years of dealing with mainstream publishing companies my opinion has changed somewhat and is still, at this writing, undergoing changes. I now realize that many many wonderful and talented writers, who are really talented, are forced to go the self publishing route simply because mainstream publishing are so arbitiary and narrow in thier choice of who will and will not be published. For a writer to just get their work READ by someone in a publishing company is a major feat. These people seem so bogged down with submissions that they erect barriers of silly rules and force would be authors to jump through so many hoops that many, many folks just give up. The author, Dean Koontz had boxs of returned manuscripts under his bed gathering dust before he finally got someone to actually READ his work. Of course, after one of his manuscripts finally got past all the hurdles and was read he instantly became a best seller and publishing companies fought over him and his work. I firmly believe we have people just as good at thier craft as Mr. Koontz but who will probably never get the opportunity for the public to ever see their work if they only persue the mainstream option. Over the years Self Publishing has come a long way. It is no longer the tool of the idle rich who long to see their words in print and have the money to make it happen. Now, thanks to the progress in electronics, self publishing is now an option within the reach of almost all people. Along with all the roadblocks set up by mainstream publishing companies we now have to worry about putting things here in WDC and wither or not THIS will stand in our way of someday being published. So here I sit, pondering all of these things and wondering where I am going. I have been forced to rethink what I am doing here and what I want to do with my writing down the road. I came to WDC for two reasons, first and foremost I wanted my stories to be read by other people...people who didn't know me and did not feel obligated to say nice things. I wanted to know wither or not what I wrote could find a readership and how it would stand up to critical scrutiny. My second reason for coming here was to interact with others to whom writing was a driving force. I wanted to feed off their enthuism for the art. The idea of making the stories in my Port private and not letting anyone read them without an invitation is just repugnant to me. I don't think I can do that because it goes against what I came here for in the first place. So now, maybe I need to forget mainstream publishing and reconsider self publishing. I never really harbored any ideas of ever becomming a FAMOUS WRITER...if I had any dreams at all for my writing it was that one day I could make a modest living writing short stories and maybe selling a weekly column of some sort...just enough to pay a few bills and maybe give up the day job. That's all I ever wanted. Now I have to figure out if self publishing will get me any closer to that goal. This is something that cannot be decided overnight but it is something which DOES have to be decided and decided by each and every one of us who share the dream of one day being PUBLISHED. |
| To paraphrase that famous American, Martin Luther King, "I had a dream...." Last night had to be one of the weirdest experiences in my weird-experience filled life. I went to bed fairly soon after coming home from work. I had worked the late shift and it was after 11 p.m. by the time I got home and I really wasn't feeling well, so after only a short visit to WDC I headed off to bed. I dropped off to sleep almost at once and then the "weird" began. I had a dream that seemed to have lasted all night. I know this because I woke up several times during the night and each time I went back to sleep, the dream would pick up and continue where it had left off. The dream was MY LIFE. Yes, that's right, my entire life from early childhood to the present was the subject of this crazy dream. I was standing in front of a large screen of some sort and there was someone with me. On the screen my life played out in flashs or short vingettes and as the scenes played my companion, who I could never see clearly, would comment on what we were seeing on the screen. The comments would range from encouraging agreement with the choices I had made during my life, to critical remarks on what he saw as mistakes and wrong choices on my part. Now these scenes included EVERYTHING and I do mean everything and everyone I had interacted with on a personal level....women I had loved, men who were my friends.....choices of lifestyle and faith and my comportment in the world....it was all being reviewed. I saw alternate endings to my life....I saw what would have become of me had my choices been different and some of those alternative endings were not pretty. But, then again, some showed happiness or riches missed. Through out it all, I was being lectured on what I had done right and what I had done wrong by the barely seen stranger. At one point, during the night, I woke up and told Mel: "Hun you would not believe this damn dream I'm having...." only to fall right back to sleep and have the dream continue. I awoke this morning feeling drained and a bit confused. It has been diffucult for me to get movtivated to leave the house....I keep replaying the dream in my head. What does it mean, if anything? Do you believe that dreams have some meaning to the waking world or is the act of dreaming only a chemical and electrical action of the brain at rest? I waver somewhere between the two theories myself. I do believe, however, that as far as dreams go, this one was out of the ordinary by anyones standards. I do remember, just before I woke up for good this morning and the dream ended, the stranger said to me: "What could have been and what might have been are all in the past. Your present is the result of these choices and your future depends on choices yet to be made." Ok, did he get that out of a fortune cookie or what? |
| Once again recent events force me to change the topic of my blog. Last night something happened that I have waited for 44 years to see and now it is a reality.... THE HOUSTON ASTROS WON THE NATIONAL LEAGUE PENNANT AND ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES! Now I understand that in the great scheme of things this fact is truely a minor one. Wars and rumor of war, killer storms, despots ravaging their country, all these things are really important...but to me....today they take a back seat. Today I celebrate a game. You see, this is not about me or my love of a little boy's game, it is about my mother. Mom had two passions in her life, one was her husband and the other was sports. She loved baseball, football, basketball and track & field, but by far her greatest love was baseball. She became an Astro's fan when the team was formed back in 1962. As I have stated before, we were a poor family but even so, my father always found a way to treat mom to a trip to Houston and an Astros game two or three times each season. After my dad died my brother and I took up that responsibility and we saw to it that mom was sitting behind homeplate a few times each year to yell her lungs out in support of her team. The Astros were consistant, year after year they remained at or near the bottom of the standings in the National League. They were the laughing stock of Professional Baseball but that never affected my mother's enthusiasm for her Boys of Summer. Each and every spring she would be brimming with excitement, "This is gonna be their year!" She would exclaim and of course each year they would take a dive and land in the bottom of the standings. Each Oct. mom would sigh and tell us. "That's ok, next year will be the one." Of course my brother and I, being the cruel pranksters that we were, would take great delight in kidding mom about "her" team. Every time they would lose a game, no matter where we were, mom would get two phone calls, one from me and one from my brother. "What about them Astros" We would crow over the phone. We would spend the next few minutes kidding mom and telling her how sorry her team was. She always took this ribbing good naturedly. She would just smile and say..."Next year boys, you will see." My mother died a little over a year ago, in Feburary, two months before spring training began and just before her death she was already making plans on taking a trip to Houston for Opening Day at the ball park. Life continued for the rest of us...... Then, last night, "Next Year" came to pass. The Houston Astros beat the St. Louis Cardnials 6-1 in St. Louis. I was sitting here at the computer with the TV on behind me, Mel was watching the game....her mom is from Missiouri. It took a few minutes for the game results to regester in my brain...THEY WON? OMG! Always before, the Astros had been able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.....not this time. This time they came out on top. It was as if an old habit kicked in and I reached for the phone without thinking and dialed my brother's number. He answered on the first ring. He had been about to dial my number when I called. When he answered the phone he didn't say "hello", he simply said...."I know, they won. Mom is singing their praises in Heaven right now." You see, when mom died neither my brother or myself really allowed ourselves to grieve...its how we are, crying is alien to us both. But, with that phone call the dam broke in both of us. We finally came to grips with the fact that the woman who gave us life and shaped our futures with her love and guidance was well and truely gone from us. By the time we hung up both of us were in tears. I cried for my mother as if she had died that very night and I finally got it out. I actually felt her standing at my side with her arm around my shoulders, telling me it was ok to cry. So now the world is a little brighter...my mom is in heaven and her boys are in the World Series...what more could a son want? |
| I know I promised part two of yesterday's rant but time has snuck up on me and forced me to put that off until tomorrow. I got home after eight tonight and spent the hour and a half catching up on the blogs of my favorites. Now the time for the cut off of today's blogs is fast approaching and I need to get something down in print. So, I want to talk tonight about my little blog/stat ho, Mel. I have, without a doubt, created a monster! She use to sit quietly by my side as I wrote these things. She did my proof reading and was invaluable in pointing out my many mistakes. I often urged her to get involved and write her own blog but she always demured, saying there was no way she could do what the talented folks in WDC did. She would tell me that she would not want to embarass herself by showing her lack of talent. Now I KNEW this was B.S. so I kept after her until one day she relented and got her own membership....and the rest, as they say, is history. I have watched her grow more and more involved in WDC and I have to laugh (through the pain)because she use to kid me about the way I watched the stats. Now she watches the stats JUST AS CLOSE AS I DO!!! Now I call her my blog/stat HO but I do it with much affection. I love the way she has spread her wings and soared with her writing, it has made me so proud to watch the way others have enjoyed her talent...BUT... Does the dang girl have to stomp me into the dirt so effortlessly...and be so damn sweet while she does it? We did a stat comparison tonight and the first thing she said was "It must be some kind of mistake." Like hell it was....she beat me fair and square...take a look at these following numbers and you be the judge. 7day total of views: Me 216---Mel 319 Total views of blog: Me--7months--5152 Mel--2months--1832. That breaks down to 736 views a month for me and 916 views a month for Mel! See what I mean? The woman is a blog machine! Ok, let's hear it out there for Mel...bless her heart she deserves all the applause, I mean, let's face it, she writes a great blog AND she deals with me on a daily basis! I BOW TO THE QUEEN! Besides, I love her to death. |
| I heard some news today that was disturbing, to say the least. It seems that there is a movement afoot to have the Federal Government pay the BLACK residents of New Orleans reparations for their loss during hurricane Katrina! Am I the only person in the world who finds this whole idea of reparations ludicrous? reparations: The act of making ammends for a wrong. 2.ammends made for a wrong; esp Money paid by a defeated nation for damages during hostilities.... Ok friends, please explain to me how the above defination, taken from Webster's dictionary, has anything to do with paying money to the black community in New Orleans. How exactly did the Federal Government wrong the black community during that storm to the extent that they now should be paid money? What about the whites...did they not suffer damage? I DON'T THINK EITHER GROUP HAS EARNED REPARATIONS. This is a prime example of our country going to hell in a hand basket. The work ethic is out the window, now it's all about getting big brother government to feed us and care for us. This nation is becoming more and more morally bankrupt and we, the people sit by in apathy and do nothing about it. If anyone owes anybody money for damages incurred I would think it would be the city of New Orleans and their Mayor who owes money....they had an inadequate plan to cope with a disaster and then didn't even impliment THAT. The mayor himself vetoed the idea of using metro buses to evacuate the poor. Half the police force, when they knew for certain the storm would hit them, ran away....AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OWES PEOPLE REPRATION? I think not. It is time for people to stop the frantic search for a scapegoat to pay for and take care of their needs and it's time for them to just get busy, get to work and clean up their own house. A small counter point to this story....Today there are signs up all over the city of New Oreleans begging for workers. Signs that advertise $13.00 to 16.00 per hour for willing workers.....no one is taking those jobs....it seems that everyone is waiting on Big Brother to just hand them their check. Be warned, I have a couple of items I want to explore over the next two days, maybe three, so be warned. If you don't like what I say....please, you have been warned. |
| Well another day has come and the work part has passed and it seems, beyond all expectation, I have survived it again. The first thing I always do upon arriving home from Retail's answer to the Spanish Inquisition is fix myslef a large glass of Pepsi with lots of ice then settle down to the computer to check WDC and do my blog. Since Mel wasn't at home when I arrived I didn't have to mount an offensive to retake the keyboard so I dove right into the Blogs. Of course I read Mel's wonderful entry first, damn she did a great job on that thing. Then, I did a scan of Stats, mine and hers and I gotta tell you....that girl is beating the pants off me when it comes to views. She has folks replying to her's that I have never heard of before and as for the stats, well, her blog has 50 views as of right now while my own poor little thing has a total of 18! And, she tells me she can't write!!! The woman is a natural. I am proud as punch of her. After that, I decided to check out a contest I entered, at Mel's urging I might add and see who had won the thing....I figured the winners would be posted today. Well in a way I was happily surprised to learn that, even at my advanced age, I have not lost my almost uncanny ability to stick my foot in my mouth and just generally make a total ass of myself. It is comforting to know that, as I age, I have not lost ALL my talents! You see, I entered Rebecca's Dear You Contest. It's really a neat contest where she posts a letter from some nameless supplicant who is asking for advise on a varity of subjects....this one was on weight loss...then people submit their answers to said letter. WEEEELLLL! I entered, but it never for even a second occoured to my twisted mind that the letters of response were supposed to be really serious! So, of course I answered the letter from "Chubby Lady" in a decidely "Dr. Bubba" fashion. Those of you who have read some of Dr. Bubba's stuff will understand and be suitably shocked! Well you can imagine the outcome, I'm sure. Not only did I not win, but I was disqualified for "Unconstructive advise" and the use of "Tough Love"! LOL! My entry was like listening to a stand up comic in a room full of Debate Club members....I was da only one laffing! I guess it never occured to me to try to give serious advise to someone who described themselves as "Morbidly Obese" because I am in no way QUALIFIED to give such advise and anything I could tell them, they had to have heard a million times before....so I did what I usually do...I went for comedy...Gawd! Well, of course I wrote Rebecca an email apologizing for my mistake and my entry and immediately canceled my speaking engagement at the local WeightWatchers meeting this weekend. To read the letter I replied to you will have to go to Rebecca's contest but I will put a link here to my reply. I have that because we had to put the dang thing in our port to enter....want to hear something really funny? I actually have gotten REVIEWS on the damn letter! a 5, 4 and 4.5! I almost fell out of my chair laughing at that.
Now you too can go read and see just how bad I stuck my foot in it! Thank God, some things never change...I hope I will always be a DUFUS, it makes life ever so much more interesting. |
I am sure most of you have noticed, over the past ten years or so that people the world over have lost their sense of humor. It seems, in our rush to be politically correct, we have become rather dour and overly serious. Nowadays you don't dare make fun of any group of people, no matter how richly they might deserve it. The upstart of all this is the fact that professional comics do the same kind of stand up comedy every day and people still laugh but the difference now is that when they laugh it is almost guiltily....Like children doing something they know is forbidden by their parents, but they enjoy doing it anyway. What's up with that? I mean if it's funny when Jay Leno says it, why can't it be funny when everyday people say it? This seems to me to be the height of hypocrisy. I will be the first to admit that my own humor has never been politically correct and it never will be. Sorry, that's just me. I laugh when something is funny...I don't weigh the words and worry that someone might be insulted....IT'S A JOKE, FOR GODS SAKE....LIGHTEN UP! I myself have been the butt of jokes many, many times. Every time someone kids about the ignorant redneck country boy they are slamming me....AND I DON'T CARE! Most of the time the jokes are damn funny and I laugh harder than anyone at them....its called having a sense of humor. Now, having said all of this, I want to share some jokes with you sent to me by my darling daughter who, it seems, has inherited her father's sense of humor. I almost wet myself laughing at this stuff so I hope you enjoy some of them and remember: LAUGH...THEY'RE ONLY JOKES! What's the difference between! a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...". Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. So there you have it.....a little sample of what I find funny. Please feel free to leave me one or two of your own funnies.....I love em and I promise not to whine if you make fun of Texans, or Rednecks in general, or old guys or just guys in general or FAT guys, or any other category I might fall into. |
| Well it would seem that I really stuck my foot into it with my last blog entry...LOL! It just goes to prove what I already knew...you women really stick together don't you. Note to self: modify my humor before death insues! Actually I took a bit of literary license with yesterday's blog. It DID happen the way I told it but Mel's reaction was a bit different really. She pretended to be mad but ended up laughing right along with me....she knows me well enough by now to KNOW my sense of humor will always get me into hot water...LOL! She really did laugh as she read the replies too...the brat! She said: "It serves you right, you beast!" Well, as long as she says it with a smile I'm ok I guess. Today I have spent quite some time reading bloggers that I have not read before and I was pleased to discover some really good blogs....of course I found some that were kind of scary too...gawd. I have also learned a new word....bangability. It seemed to refer to a young lady's allure to the opposite sex....I think...I'm not sure, but the blog was good anyway. A note here....I am very proud of Mel..but don't tell her I said it. After checking back over past stats covering the previous few weeks I have discovered that her blog brings in more reads than mine on an almost daily basis! I truely believe that this is due to how well she does her blogs and how entertaining it is to read. Hopefully this will go a long way toward convincing her that she REALLY CAN write...she insists she doesn't really have a real talent for writing like the rest of us she reads in here. Personally I believe her talent far outshines mine and she really should look into doing this more seriously...now all I have to do is convince her of that fact. As some of you might be aware of by now, the Duck Wars have ended and once again CC, the Buckethead has bested me in the latest of our ongoing and neverending wars....the turkey! You know, some day soon I will have to share with you the whole Monkey adventure. I would have already done so but CC keeps threatening my life...it really is funny, go ask CC about it...I love watching him squirm. Ok, that's it for me today...I gotta go enter some contests or something...have a great day. |
| Ok, I give up....what is it with women anyway? I mean, really they should hand out instruction books to guys when they get married so that we would KNOW what to say and when to say it so as not to invoke some estrogen driven verbal attack by our lovely spouses. Let me give you an example. Just today I was sitting here at the computer, minding my own business, not talking to ANY0NE and my dear wife comes up and sits down next to me. I continue what I was doing and waited for her to speak...see I've learned not to try to GUESS what migbt be on a woman's mind. Finally, she brought out this picture she had clipped from a magazine. The picture was a close up shot of a beautiful woman, probably in her late twenties with beautiful, long, curly, brunette hair down to her shoulders. I looked at the picture, keeping my face perfectly devoid of any expression that might be misinterpted as being a leer. See...I have learned a few things. Then Mel said: "If I could find someone to make me look like that, I would get a permanent in my hair." I couldn't help it....it was a great "straight line" and I do love it when someone sets them up for me. So, I replied with a huge grin.... "Hell honey, if I could find someone who could make you look like that I would pay them DOUBLE for the job!" (BLINK BLINK) SILENCE. Where were the howls of laughter at my funny remark? She knows I was just kidding I mean....... GROWL! WHAT? WHAT DID I DO NOW???? "You, you....MAN YOU!" She growled at me as she stomped off to another part of the house...presumably the part FURTHEST from where I sit scratching my head in bewilderment. What is it about MENapausal women that causes them to lose their sense of humor as they age? ********************************************** Ok, now that I have all the women in WDC growling at me I think I will stop now. I do want to let you all know that I have just today placed the final chapter of Duck Wars in the story and You can go see how it ends now....LOL LOL...kind of funny too...I hope you all enjoy the ending. |
| Today is a cheat...I am strickly turning the day blue instead of letting it languish in black. I have nothing whatsoever to say...my brain is blank. It's the work load, this past two weeks has killed me and there is no letup in sight. I am just tired and though I don't go in until three this afternoon, all I want to do is sleep...so today is a washout...sorry. Maybe tomorrow. |
| Today, in the breakroom at work, a bunch of us were discussing the almost surreal feelings that the past couple of weeks has cast upon all of us who went through the hurricane. Of course then the conversation turned to some of the outlandish things people have come up with conserning the storm and Wal-Mart. Our receptionist regaled us with some of the more bizzare calls she had fielded the past two weeks....they were priceless. I will try to recreate some of them here for you. Receptionist: "Thank you for calling Wal-Mart, how can I help you?" Caller #1: "Hello is this Wal-Mart?" Receptionist: "Yes it is ma'am, how may I help you?" Caller #1: "Is it true that if we bring our bills to Wal-Mart, you will help us pay them?" Receptionist: "No ma'am that is not true. We are a Retail store not FEMA." ****************************************************** Receptionist: "Thank you for calling Wal-Mart, how can I help you?" Caller #2: "Hello is this Wal-Mart?" Receptionist: "Yes sir, how may I help you?" Caller #2 "Is it true that Wal-Mart will replace all the food we lost during the hurricane?" Receptionist: "No sir, unless of course Wal-Mart caused you to lose power in the first place." ************************************************* Receptionist: "Thank you for calling Wal-Mart, how may I help you?" Caller #3: "Hello is this Wal-Mart?"(you see a pattern here yet?) Receptionist: "(loud sigh) Yes ma'am, how may I help you?" Caller #3: "If I send my husband down there will you guys let us borrow a chain saw so we can cut a tree off our fence...it came down during the hurricane." Receptionist: "No ma'am, I am sorry but we can't do that but we can lend you a shopping cart to carry the chain saw out to your car...AFTER YOU BUY IT!" *********************************************** Receptionist, speaking to the manager five minutes later: "If I don't get a coffee break in the next ten minutes SOMEBODY'S GONNA BLEED!!!" ************************************************ We all got a great laugh as she told us of her calls but it did point up a problem with the way people think nowadays...They seem to EXPECT a large corporation to give them whatever they need if they can't get it from the government. To some of these people there isn't a lot of difference between the Government and Wal-Mart....scary ain't it! |
| I sit here, having finished another hard day at work and, though I am phyically exhausted, I am strangely at peace. I mention this because, believe it or not, my mind is rarely in that state. On a daily basis, my brain is constantly worrying over "What ifs" and "how comes" like a dog with a bone. I am constantly mulling over stuff that I have absolutely no control over. Much of that stuff comes out in my blogs, when I try weakly to expound on deep questions or on moral dilemas and things like that. I get it out of my brain by blogging on the subject. But not today. Today, as I drove home from work it suddenly dawned on me that I am right where I was always meant to be and I am being productive (after a fashion)within the community I live in. Of course I am not as productive as my buddy Dan who is a real mover and shaker up there in North Texas, but I manage to do a job which a few people actually appreciate. My mind was suddenly at peace..... So I sit here now, sipping a cold beverage and wondering what to blog about.....ok...I guess it will be nothing of real importance today, maybe just a glimpse into a very ordinary, unremarkable day in an average joe's life.... I came home and the dogs were glad to see me. Well at least neither one tried to bit me. I walked in the door and was greeted by my lovely wife: "Shhhhh! Don't say a word, I'm about to shoot a big buck!" She said between clinched teeth. I sighed loudly. You have to understand that this lady would die before she would harm the hair on any animals head but since she has discovered this damn hunting game on X-box she has become addicted. I am lucky now if I get a chance to ever play my manly, shootum up games anymore. So I eased into the room and sit at my computer and began to read the blogs, or all my favorites anyway. After I finally finished my reading I fixed myself a cold rum and coke and sit down to blog. It never fails, when I fix one of these drinks my mind will fill with visions of tropical islands, brown, taunt bodies wearing grass skirts....... OUCH!!! Dang, Mel got up from her game and read that last paragraph....its too bad she bent her last remaining undented frying pan on my head. NOTE TO SELF....When writing these thought, cover the screen with a towel! She just went grumbling into the kitchen to begin dinner. I know this because our Cockateel has developed a new call. Whenever Mel goes into the kitchen and starts to cook, the bird begins to do this new call he has learned that sounds EXACTLY LIKE THE SMOKE ALARM! LOL LOL! Then I call into the kitchen: "Honey, the bird says you are cooking again!" This just happened again and she is now in there calling the poor bird some really bad names and threatening to let our cats play with him! The good news is....SHE IS OFF MY X-BOX NOW! Maybe I will get a chance, tonight, to sail the seven seas and plunder and loot in my pirate ship.... Oh well, there you have it, a peek into a simple life and a boring day. Maybe tomorrow I will have something interesting to say....LOL I doubt it but one can always hope. |
| We all have some form of ethics or a moral standard we try to adhere to. I started wondering today, what would it take to go against our moral standards. Could we stand up for what we believe in even in the face of emminent phyical danger and death. I guess I was thinking about Roy Bennet, the gentleman Forever wrote about in her blog, that was imprisoned in Zimbabwe. How many of us could hold up to that kind of phyical and mental abuse without caving in to the people who held power over us? I thought, too about the early Christians. How many of us would have gone to the Collosumn and the lions rather than deny our beliefs? Kind of humbling isn't it. What would we be willing to die for? Certainly, most of us would lay down our lives for our children or our spouses but what about an idea, a belief, do any of us have that kind of strength? I remember in the Vietnam War this country suddenly had a large number of "pacifist". For the most part I think they were just folks that didn't want to get shot but there were some real pacifist who had the strength of their convictions. I met one over there. He was raised a Quaker and he didn't believe in killing. Instead of hightailing it to Canada when he was drafted, this guy reported dutifully and was inducted into the army. He stated his beliefs and he refused to carry a gun. I met him on the outskirts of Hue during the Tet Offensive. He was serving with the army, I was a medic with the Marines. He was serving as a litter bearer and orderily and was not supposed to leave the forward hospital (MASH) unit but he always managed to attach himself to different units going into the field where he would go out under fire to help retrieve wounded men. You have no idea how sobering it was to watch a guy doing the same job as me and doing it totally unarmed. I never found out what happened to him but he was the bravest man I ever met and I had the upmost respect for him. How many of us could do what he did? Serve our country without comprimising our beliefs.....not sure I could do that. That is my thought for today...How many of us truely have the strength of our convictions and how many of us merely pay lip service to higher ideals. Thank you for your time. |
| There are days that I love my job and then there are days like today when I think I should try to find something less stressful, like picking up dung in an Elephant herd while dressed as a big mouse. Of course it is days like today when I am glad I never told my mom I work at Wal-Mart, I told her I was a piano player in a whore house....I wanted to spare her pride!!! Today it seemed that the backwoods along the Trinity river emptied of bubbas and bubbettes and they all came to Wal-Mart, each clutching their 2000 dollars of FEMA money and intent on buying all the neccessities which had been lost due to hurricane Rita....Katrina's meaner sister. They came in droves, like maggots to a gut wagon and from seven this morning until I left at three this afternoon, they indulged in a non-stop spending frenzy. Shopping baskets flew down the isles at speeds that would have impressed their Nascar heros as they vied for those must have items like Chewing Tobacco, Duct Tape (to repair thier cars) and brand new spittoons. I saw this one guy coming to the front check out lines with a brand new Compound Bow.... "Hey, you getting ready for hunting season?" I asked. "Hell no," he replied,"My cousin keeps bringing my daughter home late from their dates and next time he does I'm a gonna plug his ass with an arrow!" WELCOME TO MY WORLD. I saw two little ole ladies, both in their eighties, standing in the middle of one isle and banging into each other with their walkers in what looked like some weird ritual, dominance type combat. I found out later they were just fighting over who would get the last electric can opener...seems they both wanted to upgrade. Unfortunately the one isle that was ignored was the one which held the personal hygine products. I can understand that though as most of them only buy soap before special occasions and Christmas is still a couple of months away. Besides, what would they do with toothpaste; it takes thirty two women in this county to get a full set of teeth anyway. Yes, on days like this I fall back on my one line of defense to save my job. When one of them staggers up to me to ask me a question I promptly grin real big and say: "Me no habla englise." They just think I am a light skinned Mexican from Northern Mexico who can't speak the language. That usually deters them and they go off to find some other unfortunate worker drone to annoy. The last straw for me today was the Bubba who was exiting the door and when I checked his recipt I almost laughed out loud....He had five pounds of hamburger meat, a dozen small roses and a package of Condems! "This gonna be your lucky night?" I asked him with a smile. "Damn I hope so," he replied, "After she gets this good burger meat and chocolate, she better put out!" I was stymied by why he would buy the condems since birth control isn't their strong suit but then another worker told me that the guy was probably dating outside the family and didn't want to have no accident. Makes sense to me! Well there you have it...a day in Retail Hell...GOD I LOVE MY JOB!!! Just not today. I need another Rum and Coke! |
| This will be a short blog today. I spent most of the afternoon having a ball. It was really wonderful to finally meet some of these great bloggers whom I have enjoyed reading for months now. I think everyone enjoyed themselves. We had a nice crowd. Me and Mel, Forever, Sultry, Schip, CC, Nada, Dan and Wind...not a bad turn out. Because of tech. difficulties, Nada was unable to come into the chat room itself so we all piled into an MSN IM window with her...and the party began! Dan was a late arrival to the chat. He was busy cheering his favorite team on to defeat...Texas beat his lowly Oklahoma Sooners like a drum! Getting Dan into the IM was like pulling teeth. The man has the computer savvy of a retarded earthworm...but we still luv him! This was really a fun afternoon for me and even if we don't do it every week, and we just do it occasionally, I think it is something we should continue. At least now we all have each other on IM so visiting might not be so hard. Humm...now Dan...You were chiding me for neglecting WDC for this chat...having not done my blog or anything until late today...well bud..Now my blog is done and I also did a chapter in Duck Wars....Where are you and what are you doing? I'm waiting for a dang Blog here mister. You and CC are the only ones slacking around here mister! LOL LOL LOL! |
| You would think, upon reaching a milestone of this magnitude...my 200th entry in my blog....I would have something profound to discuss, but nope, nothing comes to me today. I DID manage to put in another chapter in Duck Wars so it's not like I totally wasted a day is it. But nothing really strikes me as important to talk about today....the storm is over, things are getting back to normal or as normal as possible for Hicksville, Texas. Ya know of course, that this is the only place I know of where a woman can be branded a loose woman if she marries outside her family! I am sitting here now, with my second rum and coke. I rarely drink anything but I decided to revisit an old friend and I brought home a bottle of Rum today from our trip around the lake. I had forgotten how good this stuff really is....nice way to unwind and chill out after a hard day doing NOTHING! Anyway.....before I leave you tonight I do want to leave the link for our new chat community... http://groups.msn.com/WDCChatCommunity/messages.msnw Me and Mel will be there starting about noon central time tomorrow if anyone wants to drop by and chat. Just click on the "Chat" on the left side of the page and it will take you into the room. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
Congrats on 500 entries, and we are all looking forward to the sequel.