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 |   On a daily basis... things that bump around in my head and make me go... hummm! |
My new blog:
This is not just a collections of personal musing but it is a place where I can vent. Talking about daily events on the local, state, and national scene is my way of letting off steam so I don't come home and kick the dog! We are all the Captain of our own "Ship of Fools." We go where the current of the times take us and we do what we must to be able to sleep at night. Now this Captain will speak his mind about that current and about the ocean on which we each sail....... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** {image: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** PLEASE MAIL ME YOUR VOTE FOR BLOGGER OF THE MONTH OF AUGUST. This is a shot of Me and Mel at our wedding. We were married in a simple ceremony on a deck overlooking Lake Livingston. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I am so proud of my new Siggy which was made by the very talented vivacious   . Thank you so very much for all the effort that went into this.** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This was taken from the wall in the Blogville Post Office. If you see this fugitive, please do not approach, he is armed and stupid. Contact the Blogville sheriff's office at once, then take cover! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** } ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| There have been a few mistakes made, down through history that have had far reaching effects. Such as Custer spliting his forces on the Little Big Horn and understemating the Souix tribe's numbers. Then there was Lincoln sitting with his back to the door and not the wall in Ford's Theater. Finally there was the BIG mistake on my part of getting my wife interested in playing the dang X-Box video system. I knew, when I did it, I had made a huge misstep. I heard that little voice in my head saying: "Whoa, stupid, DO NOT TAKE HER THERE!" But did I listen...noooooo. I went right ahead and encouraged her to give it a try. The result was she went out and bought her a game she said she liked better than my Military based games. She bought this dang hunting game where you have to go into different locations and hunt game. Simple right? WRONG! Instead of actually hunting, she spends all her time walking around the forest, looking at the pretty scenery, climbing the mountains.... Finally, the game must have an internal program built into it just for women who refuse to actually hunt the game....it kicks in and send all the animals to ATTACK her so she is forced to shoot something and end the game! I want you to know it is just pitiful listening to your wife squealing as she is attacked by a pack of Woodchucks and is forced to use her gun. Finally, today, I couldn't take it anymore. I told her that if she was going to sit there for hours hogging the X-box she was gonna have to learn to actually PLAY the games. I made her play one of my games which has a "cooprative" mode, in other words we two could play the same game together. Now I have already beat this game...at the hard setting...I KNOW how to do it right. The idea of the game is that your character is one of a squad of Marines, which you command and you are tasked with clearing out all the bad guys in this city...building by building. So, here we are, into the game...My character is the Sgt. in charge of the squad and Mel's character is my gunner...she carries the squad machine-gun. I am sitting next to her as we start the game and I knew right away I was in trouble. My character is leading the way across this cat-walk inside a factory and Mels character is following. Suddenly I hear her say: "Oh honey, you sure have a cute butt." I almost dropped my controller. "That's only the character in the game." I said sharply. "Now stop looking at the butt and watch out for the bad guys." We come to a doorway leading outside onto the street. "Ok" I tell her. "Be ready. There will be some bad guys out here so be sharp and shoot fast. I will open the door and go right, you go left and cover my back." I push the button, the door flies open and I launch my character forward and to the right, out the door. I am immediately shot to pieces by two guys standing to my left! "WHERE WERE YOU?" I yelled at Mel. "You were supposed to move with me and cover to the left!" "You mean NOW...you wanted me to go right then? I'm sorry honey but you just looked so cute all crouched down there and holding your little gun, I got distracted." I finally calmed down and told her we would try that move one more time but this time I would go left and cover and SHE would go right. So we reset the game. I got us to the door and, when she was all set AND NOT LOOKING AT MY BUTT, I threw the door open and launched myself to the left. I came out the door firing and took down both the bad guys.... Then promptly got shot again by a bad guy which was standing right in front of Mel! I threw the controller down in disgust."WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING THIS TIME?" I was yelling by now. "I TOOK CARE OF THE TWO GUYS TO THE LEFT, WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOOT THE ONE ON THE RIGHT?" She gave me one of those little "sniffs" of her's and said...Well, if YOU hadn't been sooo busy shooting those two poor guys you would have noticed that beautiful mural on the wall of the building across the street. I saw it when I came thru the door and was just admiring it. ADMIRING A MURAL?? This was the last straw for me. You are in this game to shoot people and blow up things not appreciate ART!! I turned off my game, put her silly hunting game back in and let her STROLL around the forest to her heart's content. Now there is no telling WHEN I will ever get my X-box back to myself again. You see I thought if she played the thing instead of having the TV on, then I would be able to work on the computer without the distracting noise but how can I concentrate on writing when I KNOW she is sitting behind me SCREWING UP THE GAME! It's a vicious circle I tell ya. I can't win! The woman is gonna drive me to DRINK!!! LOL LOL LOL! |
| This is a hard entry to write and not be misunderstood but I will give it a try. Forgive me in advance if I fail to put my thoughts into the right words.... Time is slipping away from me. I go to work at 3:00 p.m. and I will not get off until after 11:00 tonight so if I do not make an entry before I leave I will not get one posted in time to make the day blue. I sat here for over an hour staring at the screen and debating with myself on the merits of posting a blog about the intolerance of some people who never miss a chance to belittle anyone who believes in God and an afterlife but I have finally come to the decision that, when all is said and done, it really would not make any difference. I guess, what it all boils down to is that if those people are correct in their beliefs that God does not exist, then it really won't matter when we die. But, if I am right, and there is a God, then I will be right where I want to be....so why argue with them. The other thing that makes me decide not to bother is the fact of where this blog appears. If I had a blog on a site like MSNBC or some other huge, site with millions of people reading, then I really would not care what kind of anger or resentment I stirred up...I would just state me case and the heck with what they think. But this is WDC and it is like a second home for many of us so I try to avoid a lot of arguments here just for the sake of telling someone I think they are wrong. I come to WDC to work on writing and interact with friends, not to inflict my belief system on others. Each of you are free to believe the way you will, just don't belittle those who disagree with you. And, yes, you can disagree without being condescending or nasty about it. So I guess what I am trying to say is that if you don't believe in the things that I belive in, well that's ok...just don't waste my time trying to prove to me how superior you are or how deluded you think I am...I don't care. I truly believe we can agree to disagree and still co-exist....don't you? |
| Today will be a short entry. I had to take the day off from work due to illness and I really hate doing that. It seems that I have contracted some kind of stomach virus and I have been running at both ends as if someone had turned on a pair of faucets...yuck! Of course, being the good hubby that I am, I have duely passed said virus right along to Mel who is collapsed on the couch making moaning noises...the wussy! It was so nice to meet Forever's friend Jillian Red it seems our little group is constantly growing and that is always a good thing. Gawd, you know I haven't felt this bad since I had to spend the whole day with CC...in fact this virus is very similar in its effects on the gastric system as setting down and actually talking with Buckethead, you should all try that some time. Ok, I am off to bed again and when I get back up I expect to see blogs from ALL my favorites in here. Someone is gonna have to drag PlannerDan to the computer I guess, he has been neglecting us shamelessly, Nada too. I hope you all have a better day than I am having and I will see you all later. |
| News from around and about: Police raided a house in Wakeman, Ohio today and removed 11 children. These were foster kids and they were made to sleep in cages! The man and woman who were the kids foster parents appeared in court and denied that they had mistreated the kids......but they SLEPT IN CAGES FOR GOD'S SAKE! What the heck is our world coming to when two people can get paid for keeping 11 kids in cages? I swear, I read this article and just shook my head...it is so damn sad. Jesse Jones Highschool, Houston: A full blown riot exploded in this highschool this morning between regular students and students brought in from New Orleans. Over 200 students were involved and three kids ended up in the hospital. Now this being Texas, please don't jump to the first conclusion: this had nothing to do with race. Jones Highschool is a predomanately black high school. Houston has begun to experience a few episodes of strife brought about by trying to cope with the huge influx of people from the stricken area of La. Personally I think they have done really well absorbing these people into their population and hopefully the distrubances that have happened will just prove to be the exception and not the rule. On the local scene: I had the opportunity to talk to a good friend of mine, an old high school buddy. He has recently returned from Afganastan where he was working as a civilian contractor. He told me something interesting. We were talking about how things were over there and he asked me if I knew anything about BlackWater Enterprises. I told him that yes, I did know about them. They are ex-military guys who work in "Security" with a contract from the government. In essance, they are a private army. My friend then told me that there were a couple of other groups that he had run into over there, doing the same job as Black Water and that they made Black Water seem like Boy Scouts! "Dave," he said seriously. "These guys were the scarest indivuals I have ever had the misfortune to be around." Now that is quite a statement coming from my friend because I happen to know he walked some of the same trails I did long ago and was in some very hairy action and I have never known him to be afraid of anyone. He told me these guys in the other outfits pretty much came and went whenever and wherever they wanted to and NO ONE talked to them. He said when they appeared it meant that bodies would be found on the roadside very soon. It makes me curious as to who these people are and what their job actually is. Until Afganastan, it was illegal to belong to a mercenary unit but now they have gotten around the law by calling themselves "Security" firms. I believe this might have long ranging reprecussions for our country over the long run. Will these private armies someday be employeed within our own borders? Food for thought isn't it. Oh, before I close....We had an interesting event this evening at home. I was sitting here reading blogs and suddenly Mel started yelling at me from the kitchen. "David, COME HERE, QUICK!" Well, I thought she had hurt herself or something so I rushed into the kitchen. She was standing at the window where she normally watches her birds and she was pointing at something outside. I looked just in time to see this huge hawk launch himself off the ground with a rattlesnake clutched in his talons! Mel had been watching her birds when the hawk had plummeted down from the top of a tree onto the body of the huge snake. It was really neat watching this interplay of nature right in front of us and I told Mel that was the best thing about her bird feeders...they bring the birds, which in turn brings the snakes out in the open so that the hawks can dine! Sorry, I just love watching a snake bite the dust! Ok, that's it for me.....I think I will wait and see what the GOOD bloggers around here write about. See you guys tomorrow. |
| What a strange and wonderful place this is, this WDC. I have been sitting here thinking about it (I know, I need a hobby don't I)and I can think of nowhere else, in no medium, could such a varied, diverse group of people come together and find, not only a common ground, but friendship as well. The common glue that binds us together is twofold. First there is our common love of the written word and secondly and maybe most importantly is our own humanity. The love of writing caused us to bump into each other here in the first place and it held us still long enough to read each others words. After awhile a funny thing happened though...we discovered that no matter where we lived, no matter what social strata we occoupied we all shared the same feelings. In other words....we became friends. Now do you ever stop and wonder at how unlikely that is? Most of us have never met and the chances of us ever actually meeting is slim at best, but we consider each other true friends. It is our humanity, our weaknesses, our strengths, our foibles and our follies which we lay bare here on these pages that draw others to us. This is the power of the written word. I sometimes wonder if the entire world would not be a better place if we were all forced to get to know each other by our words first, including governments. So, to all my true friends in Greece, in England, in Canada and in all the many places in this great country of mine...Thank You for being my friends. Ok, ya see what happens when I start waxing philosophical and stuff...I promise to take two advils and be better by tomorrow. |
For those of you who have tried to follow CC's unjust war on my person, I thought I would draw it together here so you can read it all in one setting and that way kind of catch up to speed with the story. CC will write his next installment of the "war" in his blog and I will respond to him in "replies". Then I will fire a shot or two in my own blog which I am sure he will also answer in replies. So, if you like to laugh and you want to read a talented comedy writer...watch CC and read his words. So now, without further ado....here is Da War: Day One. (CC runs in ) ** The loud racket stops and soon as CC slows to a halt.. Everyone is the room knows that this man is looked upon as a tad different and slightly off center . But they all stare that this whacko standing there.. With a Bucket on his head and parts of buckets cut up and wrapped around his body in a way not unlike Armour was used in the middle ages. With a sword in hand..Givin to him by the Queen in a far off land. Everyone gasps at the light this fine weapon emits in a warm glow. CC climbs on a table so everyone can hear his words…He lifts his bucket off his head and looks at the faces of his new found friends.. He smiles and looks each in the eye making sure to see that each will hear that what he is about to say to them….they should heed without question. Friends !!!! Hear me well…..For I am to show you why I have traveled to this land. From far away I have come.. Far away I have seen things that which has made my blood run thick in my veins.. I had hoped to be among you as a man in need of some mental assistants (well I still am that) hehee. But !!! I fear soon I will have the need to do things that I had hoped wouldn’t be necessary in a place such as this. I followed a Man among you..A man that has until now.. has been a good little boy and has minded his manners !!! hehee. BUT !!!! I have seen over the past few days a CLOUD !!! Not a puffy little pretty thing that floats across the sky that gives us a short rest from the sun….OH NO !!!!. This thing that I’ve seen now forming over there on the horizon is not a thing of puffiness!!! But I have seen this DARK THING BEFORE !!! And I fear it will grow until it takes every bit of life out of the hole dang place !!!!! ( the crowd gasps in shock) Friends !!!! I know this will come as a shock but this Man I followed is not all which you think…YES…He is a Loved person….very talented…very smart…and I must say.. One of the most feared people I have ever had to step infront of in my years Defending that which I hold dear to my heart. (CC hang head) I must tell you now things I thought I would not ever say here. TOR IS DA LORD OF DARKNESS !!!!! HE IS A BAD BOY !!!! AND HE IS STARTING TO PEEVE ME OFF !!!!! (roflol) He has done so well in here…I mean… I have been here for awhile now and other than callin me a few names and stuff…He has been a model person…heheheee. Well this is just to show what happens when ya give a man a week off with nothing to DO !!!! I mean look at our Poor Mel…She got that man underfoot for the rest of the week !!! GAWD !!!! As for me…Well…I have been hardened by passed attacks.. By luck I have made it thru to carry on with my work.. But as you might have seen over these last few days… the things that lie well hidden under his cowboy hat and stuck down those pointy boots that crunch his toes up. Lady Mel has seen what happens when his DARK clouds form..She knows what I am bound to do when confronted with his EVIL ways. Let me just say that I know she feels bad for us…But that she is bound by love to stand by his side during these sad times..( RIGHT MEL ??) hehehee Most of you won’t understand most of this..I know that..You will all look upon me with sadness and feel for my soul…You won’t look at him as the thing he hides…But you will look at me standing before you as I am…(Goofy looking with buckets stuck all over me). I’ll just say this…In hope that Tor will read this and know that he has gone far enough and should maybe take up a new hobby…like KNITTIN or sumfin….because if he keeps on this path while he is off work….well. I’M GOING TO HAVE TO PLAY TAKE THIS HERE LIGHTED SWORD AND JAB HIM IN THE TAIL SECTION !!!!! TO DEFEND MY HONOR !!!!! He thought it cute…to display my photo yesterday. He called me on the phone and LAUGHED !!!!! at his deed. That among all the other stuff he as done these past few days…Is the reason I stand before you now… I am givin him one last chance… To take his DARK STUFF…and shove it back under that freaky looking dang Cowboy hat..And to jam that SLIMY stuff back in his POINTY LITTLE BOOTS !!! ONE LAST CHANCE !!!! You need to tell Mel that you are going to be a good little boy the rest of the week and that you will stay out of her way !!!….As a matter a fact I want you to go CLEAN DA TERLET !!!! YES DA TERLET !!! for her… Tor you have left me but those options… I’m sorry… I know we have had talks about not doing this here…But you have broken our bounds…( well he has come close). You have drivin me to stand here in my dang Bucket Stuff…Infront of these fine people !!! (GAWD I’M SORRY FOLKS) But you just better think about what the heck your doing . roflol ( he never does that) (CC looks over the crowd one last time) I’ve said enough here…I’m sorry.. for my words might have brought you some concern..But I thought you should be forewarned if this happens to get messy…My hope is that it will not… But please .. the fact that I’m here to stand up to this Darkness for you… should give you some rest..Also know that I’ll will stand on guard for the duration…Always keeping a eye out… If this is the time for me to step up..Well step I must.. If not and he settles down…well I will be here for the next time he FLINGS STUFFAGE AT US !!!! lol That’s all I have I must leave…to stand ready. (Gawd they must think I’m a dang freak !!!!! ) OH !!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAN !!!!! Dude I got to tell ya…..this might not be a good time to be standing next to ole MR. FlooooooshFace… Tor has always tried to get folks to come and help him…ALWAYS !!!! I’m sure he will come snottin to you too…I just wanted to let ya know up front…I’m bound by Honor to do what I must. Please take time to think about standin over there. I don’t want to see you get in a mess just because of the things Tor might get you to believe!!! Think Tor Go grab them Knittin needles and make a pair of SOXS !!!!!!! You don’t want to do this here !!!! ROFLOL !!!!! (CC steps down of the table…and his bucket Clank together makin a heck of a racket as he walks out the door ) ( I know !!!!…GAWD !!!!… this sucks….I never would have thought I would have to do that in here ) SORRY FOLKS !!!!! (The thing I have to do..GAWD ) ( CC kicks DA DIRT ) Tor walks into the room and looks with dismay at the garbage left behind by Buckethead. Just like in the past, it is left for poor Tor to clean up the mess after CC implodes. Tor wonders if he can get a good price from the scrap metal people for all the dented bucket parts CC left laying around when he slunk out. (SIGH) Well here we go again. I'm sorry folks but my little buddy never misses a chance to react like a defective pistol: Go off Half Cocked! Let me see if I can answer a few points brought up by CC...oh btw...I think you should all give him a round of applause for cobbling THAT many words together in a semblance of order. This entry took him almost two days to write and he went through three boxes of crayons before he was finished....WAY TO GO BUDDY! Now....on to his entry: 1. "With a sword in hand..Givin to him by the Queen in a far off land. Everyone gasps at the light this fine weapon emits in a warm glow. Actually the "sword" was a flashlight and the good lady gave it to CC only after he promised to use it to find his way TO SOME OTHER PLACE! Thus, we have him here. 2. Hear me well…..For I am to show you why I have traveled to this land. From far away I have come.. Far away I have seen things that which has made my blood run thick in my veins... If you think his blood runs thick in his veins..you should check out his brain..it don't run there at all! 3. "and I must say.. One of the most feared people I have ever had to step infront of in my years Defending that which I hold dear to my heart." Ok, ok, he has a real gripe here. When I was up visiting him at his home I DID try to take down his autographed poster of Martha Stewart he has hanging on the PINK walls of his study and he DID get all snippy and stuff and stepped up and tried to stop me...he was even stomping his little feet, it was sooo cute! 4. "As for me…Well…I have been hardened by passed attacks.. By luck I have made it thru to carry on with my work.. Oh come on CC, are you still peeved about the time I sent the Lightning Donkeys to blast your Monky Shed? I mean, really, that was just a little boyish fun after all. 5. "I’M GOING TO HAVE TO PLAY TAKE THIS HERE LIGHTED SWORD AND JAB HIM IN THE TAIL SECTION !!!!! TO DEFEND MY HONOR !!!!! Tisk, Tisk, CC is that any way to talk about me and after I have ALREADY defended your honor in here. Dan said you eat poo sandwiches and I told him right up front..NO he doesn't. He don't even LIKE bread! 6. "TOR IS DA LORD OF DARKNESS !!!!! Ok for those of you who might wonder WHY he calls me this, well I guess I have earned the name, at least in his pointy little mind. After all I DID keep stealing the batteries out of his shiny little flash light so he would get lost and stuff. Oh, and there was that time I locked him in a round room and told him to go stand in a corner....after 24 hours he collapsed and almost had a nervous breakdown. Well, you can see how these little pranks might have pushed my buddy over the edge...please, no one make any loud noises, he is still real jumpy and stuff. And as for the picture...why CC you should thank me. I just wanted to make sure all the wimmen KNEW what you looked like so that you wouldn't get shot accidently when one of em caught you going through their lingerie drawer! Tor picks up the broom and dust pan and goes about cleaning the place up..."hummm...Monkey droppings. I wonder how those got there?" Mel walks in and looks around.... gawd, what a mess!! She just stands there shaking her head. Then after a few minutes she goes out and grabs her blanket and picnic basket. She spreads the blanket out on a hill, under an old oak tree, opens the basket and takes out a bottle of wine, some cheese and pecan sandies. Anyone else want to join me? This is going to be a long, nasty battle. Sir Knucklehead and Sir Buckethead have done this before, and let me tell you, it gets bad. They fling flappage, toss tyrantical tenses and pitch paradoxical paragraphs at each other, and you don't want to get caught in the middle of this. So bring a dish, sit down here by me, and just watch the show. It can get hilarious at times. And the funny thing is.... THEY LOVE DOING THIS TO EACH OTHER. They are like a couple of little kids.... and after a while, when they finally start to wear down, we will make them go to their rooms with no supper!!! And all night long, you will hear, coming from the confines of their rooms.... 'DID NOT'.... 'DID SO'... 'DID NOT'.... 'DID SO'... 'WELL YOU STARTED IT'.... 'DID NOT'.... 'DID SO' ****************************************************************************** ** Crouching by his simple fire at the edge of the forest CC lifts is head from the dancing firelight to see Lady Mel heading up the hill.** Dang thats not a good sign CC says Shooooooot CC says as he watches Mel spread out her blanket and sits down. Seeing her up ther only means that His Royal Darkness didn't CLEAN DA TERLET !!! DANG !!!! This is lookin bad...(CC hangs head) ** A little wind blows thru the trees...(Snif..Snif) CC raises his head and looks far off to where the DARK CLOUD sits in the sky.. (Snif.. Snif) GAWD !!!!! YUCK !!!!! That I'll wind must mean that more FERTALIZER HAS BEEN SPREAD !!!!. DANG IT !!!! WILL HE EVER LEARN !!! (CC kicks Dirt on the fire) and picks up his SWORD !!! (NOT NO DANG FLASHLIGHT !!LOL!) and looks off up the hill to the Lady Mel. She can see me from up there..While our eyes meet she just shrugs her shoulders as if to say. SORRY CC DA DIP-STICK won't listen to me. I give Mel a wave with my hand to let her know I understand how she feels and so she will also know that I don't hold her with any fault in this...She is well known to be a Saint that has the bad luck of being TORmented by a DARK MAN !!! (hehehe DAT WAS GOOD) hehehehee. I must make ready...I feel this just might go badly for the whole of this place.. (CC turns and steps quitely into the Forest.) Breeze: Brings a basket up the hill and joins Mel, pulling out a bottle of vodka, milk, and khalua; salted peanuts, tequila, lemons, and shot glasses. Okay, I'm set. Was I supposed to bring food? Do peanuts count? They are protein, after all! Nada: HEY MEL...I'll be joining you up there...just a sec... CC, now if you had seen the review and comment I sent to Tor about the photo he posted, I think you would be hanging your dang head in shame. I said so many NICE things about you....now you and Tor are littering about. I suppose Tor won't share my comments with you (at least without SOME price), so if you two will clean up your rooms and try to be good while Scarlett's away...heck, who am I kidding? Nada runs up to join Mel Wind: wind peeks around the corner, careful not to make too much noise, needing to know if it's safe to enter... after all, it's all her fault this whole thing got started~~~ CC???? Hey, it's me, wind. You okay dude? Hey man, I apologize for gettin' this whole feudin' thing goin', but I gotta tell ya - you are SO cute! Couldn't help myself man, the curiousity thing got the better of me - just had to see what the Royal Flapmeister actually looked like. Forgive me? Well, I gotta run... gotta see a man about a loan to pay off Tor! Oh, by the way, I don't see a bucket ANYWHERE! DA WAR….DAY 2 ** As the first light of day breaks over the hill, The sun finds CC over at the edge of the forest by his campfire. This man has been busy thru the night just returning from his journey from Scarletts Blog because she has entrusted the noble knight with the job of Duck Sittin her fuzzy family while she has gone on vacation to some Island to rest her brain from the trauma induced by reading Tor’s Blog these pass few months. ( The crowd gasps….HERE WE GO AGAIN !!! ) As we move closer to the fire, We can hear CC talking to what looks like several yellow little animals placed in the fire light. CC says: OK…Now that you all have got a good look at each other… I think we need to get some stuff out of the way so you all understand just what is expected of you when called upon. These Guys here…( CC points to Scarletts Fuzzy ducks) These guys are going to hang around a bit while their Mistress is off havin fun… I know they each have names and stuff..But dang if I can remember what they are…I think they all start wif a “D”…Like ummmm…Doug…Donna…Deadfoot…Darwinkle…OR SUMFIN like dat. But I figured heck my ducks don’t each have a name…I just call them Da Rubber Dudes…So I think we can just call these pack of Fuzz heads…Da Stuffed Bunch.. Now you Stuffed Bunch Dudes…These here Rubber Dudes are My Guys (CC points to his ducks)…Well I think they are Guys..(CC picks up two of the yellow rubber ducks and flips them over) I never could figure out just what they heck they were.. Shooooooot they could all be Wimmins for all I know…YA SEE (CC hold them upside down ducks so the Stuff bunch can see them)… Every dang one of them got these hole in their underside… But all that seem to do is make this dang squeekin noise when I squish them (SQUEEEEAK>>SQUEEEEAK) SEE !!!! And well the rest of that underside is closed up tighter than a frogs tail section …. So I just call them Guys because well…I live in a whole house full on dem Wimmins and ya know a man needs to hang out with Guys every now and then….So until someone can prove to me one of them dudes is a dudette….Well…Here….MEET DA GUYS !!! (CC points to his rubber dudes). (CC turns to the DARK CLOUD over a crossed the Horizon and points) Listen UP !!!….DAT over there is a Bad Smelly thing…And We just can’t sit here looking all yellow and stuff…We got to get ready to do stuff to him before he dose stuff to us !!!!…The good thing is….The Dark Lord has problems thinking of stuff to do to me…Generaly he just sits and waits until I fling something at him…THEN !!! he will make this fowl Sound like a terlet flushin…And a nasty odor will hit ya in the face just before ya hear him spout off a few thing that will PEEVE ME OFF ! So here is what I’m thinking…..It’s to my advantage that I use you Guys in a way that fits each group to their abilities. MY RUBBER DUDES…Are more suited to go into places were the slime is real bad..I don’t mean to put them in harms way but…It will be much easier to clean these guys up when they return from being close to that NASTY SLUDGE PILE over there…If I sent you Fuzzy Dudes…Heck we would have to send ya to the dry cleaners every dang day…And well I don’t have the Cash fer that….My Wimmins don’t let me have any cash unless I’m buyin sented bathroom products anyway. So the Rubber dudes will get the Messy Jobs…While you Fuzzy Dudes do all the clean stuff…..Like relayin Messages to the People on the hill up there…Or runnin to get me a Cheese Sammich and stuff….Don’t Worry there will be plenty of stuff to do around here. I think I need to send one of you Fuzzy dudes over to keep a good eye on Lady Wind…She I fear is about to make a bad choice of who she is hangin out Wif. I need to send her a Message real soon….You guys remind me Ok? Ok (CC points to the hill) Ya see them folks up there….Well those fine folks are the reason we are down here getting ready to get Slimed…They don’t know it but… If this goes bad for us down here the place will need to hang air freashners in every tree…And the DARK LORDS HEAD!!!! Will get so big from his victory well will all have to give him most of our blog space so he can tell us how great he is.!!!! (LOL DAT WAS GOOD) hehehe…oooops sorry…hehehehee Anyway…We serve those folks up there..So if they ask you to deliver me any messages or if they are in need of my services for any reason….Come and grab me… OK???? ALRIGHT!!! GOOD !!!! Now I got some thinking to do…So don’t you Quack faces make a bunch of noise…I,m going to go over to that rock and look over the land and think.. Cause believe me we have to do this right…for if we mess this up…Not only will we be frowned upon..But I fear stuff will get tossed at us until we get thrown out of this place… SO NO GOOFIN OFF !!!!! (with that CC walks away from the Yellow Bunch…They just stare at him not blinking a eye or movin….OR NUFFIN !!!!) CC thinks….What will he do this time…Who will he use to get at me… I know his deeds will not be in the open…He will hide his true path… NO WAIT !!!! WHAT THE HECK AM I SAYIN !!!! HE IS NOT THAT DANG SMART !!!!! (CC watches the cloud in the distance) ************************* CC walks out of his simple hut with a foul look on his face. As he drops the last of his supplies then he turns west towards the dark cloud and shakes his head.. (The crowd yells..NOT THIS AGAIN !!!) Well ya think hearin this would stop CC but Noooooooo. It’s been said that this noble knights ears don’t work real good, Ya see lots of people have taken great pleasure in smackin CC’s Bucket with hard objects while his head was in it…And the poor fella’s ears just ring and ring now. CC says I know he is up to something…I can just feel it in my eye lashes (blink..blink) CC turns to the pack of yellow ducks and says… Ya think the Smelly dude gave up already ??? Heck we didn’t even get dirty yet.. Maybe Lady Mel went home and twisted his neck until he promised he would never bother me again. Let me check. CC runs over to the rock so he can see up on the hill. NOPE !!! DANG !!! Lady Mel is still up there…DANG so are all the other fine folks…(CC squints) What the heck are they doing up there?. CC yells “Hey one of your fuzzy dudes hand me my looking glass”. Well all of Scarlett’s fuzzy ducks waddled over and grabbed the looking glass and dragged it over to CC…Thanks Dudes… Well when CC raised the glass and looked to the hill he gasp in a huge breath and said. THEM FOLKS IS HAVIN A PARTY UP THERE !!!!! They are drinkin wine and chewin cheese and laughin while Nada is showin off her new tool belt…DANG !!!!! I wanted to see that. (CC kicks da dirt) CC could see Mel doing an impression of Tor that made him chuckle..heheheeh ( Mel was floppin on the ground kickin and screamin like Tor was hurt from rowin that new thing with oars they just got. Hehehehe. Out of the corner of his eye CC saw Wind walkin up the hill from the path on the other side of the hill…Hmmmmm CC said out loud…I think she has been yappin with the Dark Lord. AGAIN !!!!! lol CC spins and looks at the fuzzy dudes and says.. OK BOYS !!! get them hairy fuzzy butts up dat hill and find out what the heck is going ON !!!! Now no yappin about what we have been doing down here..Just go on up and hang out until ya find stuff out for me… Any Question ?. Good !!! If ya bring me some news I’ll make sure to tell your Mistress just what a great pack of fuzz you all are…Take off now…And be careful. (CC turns to his rubber dudes) Ok boys…Ya sat here way to long…I need to find out what the heck is going on…I hate to do this but I want 3 of you to try to get as close as you can to that DARK CLOUD of smelly slime over there..(CC points to the west).. If that old Varmint won’t show his face…Well I’ll just have to let you guys get in and snoop a bit… I know it’s going to be a dirty job.. But dang it I need to know stuff.. If that dufus is just going to sit over there I’m just going to have to think of something to do to him so he won’t ever make the mistake again of SOILIN MY HONOR !!!! (Or fling my picture on the web)… or all that other stuff he did to me. So get as close as ya can… and write what ya see down…Ya know I have a hard time understandin ya bunch of rubber beaked tub runners. You guys be careful too…It’s smelly over there so hold your nose things. With that, three of CC’s yellow dudes leave the camp.. CC looks back to the hill where the party is going on. DANG !!! I should have told the Fuzzy dudes to bring me back a Cheese Sammich and a Bottle of Beer. DANG !!! (CC kicks da dirt) (CC thinks) Ya know if He thinks for one minute he can get me all dressed up in my battle gear and then sit over there after I have done all this yappin and makin myself look like a crazy nut case… Things are going to go very bad for him. He should now by now that soon I’m going to stop talking to myself here and before he knows it my next blog will be me trashin him so bad that everyone on that hill up there will be wondering if he will ever show his face here AGAIN !!!!! (CC taps his toes on the ground) Just wait till dem Ducks get back.. I think this might be a turning point to this whole thing… (CC turns) This isn’t no dang war…this is a test of my ability to wait until he thinks of something to SAY !!!!! lol Hey !!!!! I haven’t seen DAN !!!!! hmmmmmmmm. Wonder what the heck he is doing all this time .. hmmmmmmmm. (CC looks up to the hill) GAWD !!! what everyone must think of all this…I’m sure when they met me I confused them and stuff…They all really must think I’m a whacko now. (The Father of Darkness will PAY FOR THIS !!) Mel: Gawd girls, don't look now, but CC is just going whacko down there. Oh and look, Scarletts little duckies are coming up the hill.... hey quackers, you want some cheese... Nada, I do love that tool belt, I'm going to have to get me one like that. Breeze should be here soon, she was cleaning up first, got some kind of inspection going on. Scarlett's missing all the fun, hopefully she will get back from that nasty hot vacation in Cyprus, to join us up here soon. Forever is picking up some more wine and spirits...we are running out fast!!! Gawd, that wine goes fast doesn't it... hiccup!!!! I see Wind, I think she has some chips and dip and MayLee is feeding the animals, then she will be right on over!! Where's Schip... oh, she is mixing up some cocktails for us!! Who else is coming? We gots lots of room on this picnic blanket, lots of food and drinks are on their way. Nada, quit playing with that dang drill, and come over here and have some of these appetizers. We have crab bacon rolls, perogis, quesadillas, buffalo wings, Cocktail smokies and clams on the half shell..... ********************************************* "Gawd, it looks like it's going to be a long battle!" Tor steps out of his Manly Man Mansion and stands for a moment on his front porch, enjoying the early afternoon sun as it warms his joints. Suddenly his nose wrinkles as it picks up a noxious odor that wafts upon the gentle air currents which drift across the hill on the other side of the valley before it reaches Tor's home. Tor rolls his eyes in disgust....bucketboy is at it again. Every time Buckethead does any serious plotting against Tor and his minions for Truth the resultant odor of burning brain cells fills the whole valley. Tor was about to slam the door and grab some air freshner when he spotted his faithful hell hound Crockett trotting toward the house, he had something in his mouth. Tor watched as the dog made his way up to the front door where he sit and happily deposited his catch on the front stoop. It was a rather bedraggled, chewed, yellow rubber duck! "Ewww," Tor yelled at Crockett. "Go bury that dang thing ya mutt." He was about to slam his door again when a loud barrage of noise struck his ears. It sounded like Mollie and the Cats had something cornered in the back yard and was busy killing it. Tor made his way around the house, followed by Crockett, still mouthing the poor duck, and walked into his back yard. Tor stopped as he rounded the corner of the house, he was shocked at the scene that played out before him...... There was Mollie, his Black Lab and she was playfully tossing another damn duck into the air and catching it in her mouth....the poor duck was emitting some really pitiful girly-like squeels with every toss into the air. Out in the middle of the yard the Cats; Smoke, Goober, Lil Shit and Twister each had their own yellow rubber ducky play toy that they were batting about unmercifully. Tor couldn't help but laugh as he listened to the silly, panicked cries coming from the frazzled, beat up ducks. "That will teach CC to send his dang underlings over here to spy." Tor thought to himself. Still laughing, Tor turned and left his animals to their play time. He still couldn't believe that CC had forgotten about his first line of defense around his Castle....The Animal Brigade. Upon entering his home, Tor is faced with the knowledge that, once again, he must defend himself against Sir Buckethead and his Legions of Silliness..... Tor sits at his dining table and begins to make his plans... DA WAR…..DAY 3: (CC is sittin on the rock thinking) Sqaaaeeeka…sqaaeeeka. Wut dat heck is dat ? CC truns and looks down the path. Sqaeeekaa…sqaeeeeka. (CC jumps up) Hey !!!! is dat you Boys ? CC didn’t hear another thing. He started down the path because he knew something was down there makin that noise. He Round the first bends and right there in the path was this sad lookin rubber duck flopped on his side just makin this gawd awful sound with little squeaks come out multiple puncher holes all over the poor thing. OMG !!!! CC rush to his faithful yellow tub floater. If that wasn’t bad enough !!!! on this poor slobber covered thing was a flat piece of yellow rubber draped on his back. BUT DA SADDEST PART !!!! was the same poor duck was draggin the last of the scouts behind him. CC bent down and picked up his Buddies and ran back to his campsite as fast as he could... BRANG ME DA DUCT TAPE !!!! we got a wounded here !!!! CC took the flat one off the other and just new from the start that this poor thing was to far gone to ever hold up again to float in the tub… GAWD !!!! CC GLARED OVER TO THE WEST .. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. One of the fuzzy ducks brought the duct tape and CC got to work on the other two…After 10 minutes of professional tape placement the one duck that brought the others back was squeekin with a almost perfect pitch.. While the one that was dragged squeeked but CC dare not give him the water test in fear he would take on water and flip upsidedown… Knowing he had done all that could be done CC finally gets up off his knees and climbs the rock. He draws his sword and yells out over to the west where the stink is comin from. HEY !!!! WHAT DA HECK HAVE YOU DONE !!!! (CC looks down at the flat dude) I can’t believe he kilt my duck.. I can’t believe I sent the poor thing over there to be kilt ..(CC hangs his head) why would he do such a thing… YOU ARE A EVIL MAN !!!! CC YELLED !! EVIL !! Dats IT !!!!! CC checks the other two wounded ducks again . The Silver one which CC coverd with duct tape was in good shape and sound good…CC raised this duck up to the sky and said. For your bravery I will give you a name…You will be from now on… Shiny Dude !!!!. CC gently lift the other wounded duck who was in pretty bad shape and said.. For going on that mission and getting your body bit up, I will name you….Wheeeazer !!! CC squeezed the duck a little and the duck couldn’t squeek but this sad Wheezing sound came out of the poor thing. Rest easy lads…Well will have our day… I promises.. I don’t’ think in all our wars anything EVER got kilt before…(CC looks over at the flat duck)… I’ll not put the rest of you in harms way again… If I’d had known just how Nasty things would get here..I would have gone myself. Da man Kilt my Duck !!!! then LAUGHED !!!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. {c}INTERMISSION{c} NOTE TO THE READING AUDIENCE: Now I realize that many of you out there are not familiar with the wars which CC and I indulge in from time to time but bear with me. You see my buddy CC is always whining about not being a "real" writer and he is always wondering if he should be in here or not. He keeps telling me he is out of place in WDC with all its vast talent. Well first off, I gotta tell you, CC CAN write. He doesn't realize that the "wars" we have had over the years are a good example of the Interactive which is a very popular deal here at WDC. When I get him to going on one of these things he is great! If you have not read it yet, please go to CC's blog and check out entry 36 and the resultant replies. Heck please feel free to join in if you feel up to it..we wouldn't mind at all. Now, secondly...This is for CC...Hey dude, you remember when your motely crew of yellow dudes (rubber ducks) came sneaking over to my place? Well, buddy it seems that when I sent them limping back home they forgot one of their buddies. Yup, that's right CC...they left one of their own behind! Obviously they weren't Marine Ducks! Well, I took the tattered little thing in and I nursed it back to health and you know what CC.....I TURNED IT TO THE DARK SIDE!!! That's right bonehead...the duck is now one of my dark minions!!! For this special occasion, I took his picture...just to show you I was not kidding. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** INTERMISSION ENDS: NOW LET THE WAR BEGIN AGAIN! DAT DEVIL DUDE DUCK OF DECOMPOSED DARK DEPRESSIONAL DRIPPINS !!!! Has NOT ever been mine or would ever think of comin from the loins of my DUCK FOATERS !!! You Dang Duck KILLER !!! You just wait until I have a chance to get at ya... I think you are payin my Wimmins to keep me runnin around so much that I can't sit and whack some stuff at ya from this darn keyboard !!!! (CC looks at Nada) It's not that dang funny !!!(hehehee) Tor prolly bought that duck at some discount duck place and then TORmented the thing until it turned black and grew dem dang horny things...( Ok...hehehe..it is funny) But ya can't tell him that !!!!...heheheee. Tor ya know I'm not that dang stupid...I knew right off that was one of them dang Texas ducks. PLUS I know ya got them Man Boobies..But just the thought of you nursin a dang duck just makes me want to choke on stuff !!!! GAWD !!!! I counted my ducks and I got every dang one of them right here ( CC reaches in his back pocket and unrolls the poor flat lifeless duck and holds it up) SEE !!! Here is DA FLAT ONE !!!! You Skank from a septic tank !!!! GAWD !!!!! (CC turns and yells up the hill) SEE !!!! I told ya he was the DARK DANG LORD OF SEMLLYizum !!!! He just as much told ya so..And and and...If ya think this is bad you all just wait..you haven't seen nuffin yet !!! Ya think ONE DEAD DUCK IS BAD !!! Now ya got some poor thing turnt black with hornies and stuffage over there.. !!!! SCARLETT!!!!! did he get one of YOUR DUCKS ???? OH OH OH OH !!!! If my Wimmins give me 1 hr tomorrow..I'm going to sit and think up stuffage that will burn your new panties Mel just got ya on sale at Wal-Mart ya WHACKO !!!!! I'm Gettin upset NOW !!!! (hehehee...) DIrk DUck... DAT THING IS NASTY !!!! If Scarlett is missin a duck !!! Oh there will be hell to pay... (CC stomps out) I just need one dang hour to get at him. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. SO THERE YOU HAVE IT.....WHERE WILL THIS WAR, NOT TO MENTION, THIS STORY, GO? STAY TUNED AND SEE WHAT THE TURKEY COMES UP WITH! |
| Now I realize that many of you out there are not familiar with the wars which CC and I indulge in from time to time but bear with me. You see my buddy CC is always whining about not being a "real" writer and he is always wondering if he should be in here or not. He keeps telling me he is out of place in WDC with all its vast talent. Well first off, I gotta tell you, CC CAN write. He doesn't realize that the "wars" we have had over the years are a good example of the Interactive which is a very popular deal here at WDC. When I get him to going on one of these things he is great! If you have not read it yet, please go to CC's blog and check out entry 36 and the resultant replies. Heck please feel free to join in if you feel up to it..we wouldn't mind at all. Now, secondly...This is for CC...Hey dude, you remember when your motely crew of yellow dudes (rubber ducks) came sneaking over to my place? Well, buddy it seems that when I sent them limping back home they forgot one of their buddies. Yup, that's right CC...they left one of their own behind! Obviously they weren't Marine Ducks! Well, I took the tattered little thing in and I nursed it back to health and you know what CC.....I TURNED IT TO THE DARK SIDE!!! That's right bonehead...the duck is now one of my dark minions!!! For this special occasion, I took his picture...just to show you I was not kidding. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** CC, say hello to Dirk Duck, Duke of the Dark Drakes! LOLOLOL! Lord I can just see CC turning that cute shade of green now! |
| Today will be a short entry. You, my friends, are lucky because I just don't have a thing to talk about today. I have missed hearing from some of my favorite bloggers lately and I hope this does not mark a coming trend. I will say that is wonderful to see Scarlett back from her holiday and I do look forward to many brand new lists of five to be coming our way very soon. Well, like I said, I don't really have a subject to expound on today so I need to get back to reading on WDC and catching up on my Reviewing. I am behind on Mavis Moogs novel that she is writing so I think I will begin there. So far, what I HAVE read has been really good and I recommend it to everyone....
While you are at it, please drop by my port and check out this new little project I am working on. It is a series of letters I am writing to the children of my grandchildren...the future generations of my family who have yet to be born. This is an ongoing project which I will be adding to from time to time. I will print out each entry after I finish it and Mel is placing them in a binder which, at my death, will be given to my eldest child to pass along to the next generation.
Well, like I said before, this will be short and so now I have come to the end...go ahead and breathe a sigh of relief here...LOL. |
| As a rule, I rarely pass on jokes and stuff I recieve in my email but this time I have to make an exception. My oldest daughter, who lives in Washington state, sent this thing to me today and I just had to share it with the rest of you...we could all use a laugh about now anyway. Now, for those of you who know our little buddy CC, as you read this please picture HIM as judge #3. This is what came to my mind as I read it and I dang near peed my pants laughing! So here, without further ado, I present for your reading pleasure: THE CHILI COOKOFF! **************************************************** For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They have a Chili Cook-off about the time the Rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named CC, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: CC: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the event: Chili # 1 (Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili) Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 -- (CC) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. Chili # 2 (Arthur's Afterburner Chili) Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. Chili # 3 (Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili) Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans. Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer. Chili # 4 (Bubba's Black Magic) Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? Chili # 5 (Linda's Legal Lip Remover) Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks. Chili # 6 (Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety) Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge #3-- I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone. Chili # 7 (Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili) Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. Chili # 8 (Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili) Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? ********************************************* Now if you didn't at least get a chuckle out of that then I don't know what it would take! I am STILL laughing...and it was soooo like CC, I could just SEE him eating that chili! |
| Subject: I have created a Monster. You know, the biggest problem in my life is the fact that I just don't know when to let well enough alone. I always go that one extra step that carries me from safety to complete chaos. My latest "step too far" was when I convinced Mel to come in here to WDC. I have created a Monster! Before Mel joined our little band of writers she use to sit beside me at the computer and watch as I posted stories or did a blog. Sometimes she would just stay quietly on the couch and watch TV, looking up every now and again to laugh at me while I was stewing over some low, anonymous, rating I had recieved on one of my "Babies". She would delight in telling friends how, after I discovered "Summary Stats", how I would continually check my daily stats to keep track on how many had read my stories and what stories they were reading. She would tell them how obcessed I was with the Stats, she would shake her head as if she could not understand how anyone could get so wrapped up in one particular site. Then she finally succumbed to my nagging and she joined. Now I have to fight for computer time with her! She is constantly checking her email for new reviews of her stuff, she gets to growling at the low ratings JUST LIKE ME and she HAS read all her favorite bloggers mow. I am constantly bombarded by remarks (when I do manage to get online) from her like: 1. "Oh, Oh, you just HAVE to go read Dan's blog today." 2. "Did you see what Forever wrote today? It was sooo interesting...go read!" 3. Arn't you through yet, I HAVE to go reply to Nada's blog, and Winds and CC's....GAWD!" I am reduced, at times like this, to hunkering down over the keyboard to protect my spot and muttering foul imprecations in her general direction. But the very worst of it is not the above....Let me tell you what she did today. I came home and sit down at the computer and as soon as I did she ran in and sit down next to me. "Quick," She said. "Click on Summary Stats". I am signed in." I sigh heavily, she ignores it, then I dutifully click on Stats. "EURIKA!" She yells in my ear. "LOOK AT THAT!" I stare at the screen and it shows her blog had 28 hits today. WHOOPIE! Then she punches me in the ribs and says: "Ok, Quick. Sign in and go to YOUR STATS!" I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach...I didn't do a blog yesterday....I know what's coming.... Sure enough, I sign in, go to Stats and there it is.....she has MORE views on her blog than I do. I begin to point out to her that she is acting in the very same manner she use to make fun of me for doing but she interrupts my brillant debate points and says.... "Are you gonna talk all day or type...I got BLOGS TO READ!" Yes folks, I have created a WDC Monster...God have mercy on me....YEA, RIGHT! Oh, before I close out this subject....Thank you Forever. As if the above isn't bad enough, I get home today and Mel is doing the happy dance and can't wait to show me the MERIT BADGE you awarded her!!! That has not helped my cause I hope you know! It's not funny watching her dance around the living room singing...."I'm special, I'm special. I got a Merit badge!!!" I gotta go now.....she wants to read blogs....GAWD! |
| Another busy day in the Retail world is behind me, thank goodness. I would like to use my blog today to tell all of you how very proud I am of the people I work with and the people I work for. It is easy for us to take potshots at Walmart, the corperate giant, hell I do it all the time...its fun. The thing is we sometimes forget there are really two sides of Walmart; The Corporate side with its big, rich upper managment and the people side which means the one million employees world wide. Well today I found myself being really proud of both sides of this huge company. First the Corporate side: A full day before hurricane Katrina even hit land the leadership of Walmart directed their warehouses to fill a number of trucks with food and water to be ready to send wherever the need was greatest after the storm. As soon as Katrina passed the coast those trucks were on the road to New Orleans. Unfortunately FEMA deemed it unsafe for the trucks to enter the city and they were stopped. Now though, those trucks have delivered their loads and others are on the way. Besides the food and water, the Walmart Corp. has pledged $20million dollars for relief as of this writing...again with more to come. They actually set up a "command post" in New Orleans, it is store #911 (i think thats the number)and that is the same store we all saw on TV being looted. Now Walmart employees are taking truckloads of food and water there, loading it into other trucks and taking the all of it around to different shelters. Coporate Walmart was not forced to do any of this...but they did it anyway. I am always quick to critize them when they do something boneheaded so let me be just a quick to say: "WELL DONE". Now, as for the OTHER side of Walmart...the people. Well since I have been back to work I have watched with amazment as these people have rallied to help those effected by the Hurricane and the levy breaking. You have to understand that a large percent of these people work for minium wage or a little above but inspite of that they have managed to donate 12 shopping carts full of clothes and we have five pallets full of stuff needed not only food, but things people will need for personal hygine and whatever else they can think of. To some of you that might not sound like much...12 shopping carts and five pallets...but EVERY STORE IN THE CHAIN IS DOING THE SAME THING AS WE ARE! Thousands of stores...donateing, collecting....sending it on it's way. That's a lot. As I think Mel already mentioned in her blog, We also have these huge plastic water containers set up at each entrance to collect money from not only employees, but shoppers too. After two days of having these jars out our little store has collected almost a thousand dollars and again, EVERY store in the chain is doing this, and it will continue as long as needed. The whole thing brought home to me what a wonderful group of folks it has been my fortune to work with and to work for, these past seven years. I know now that when all the finger pointing and the blame laying is over and done with, it is people just like this, all over the country who will buckle down and see that what needs to be done, will be done. Today I am proud of Walmart. ******************************************* Just a small aside to Forever who asked in her reply to another blog of my what kind of equipment Mel had for exercise....LOL! Please go check out, blog #151. Satan HAS to be a Woman! |
| Today marked my return to my place in Retail Hell and all in all, it really didn't go too badly. We had our normal influx of arseholes that seem to flock to the place on the weekend, not to mention that this was a holiday weekend for us in America...Labor Day. Well actually Labor Day is tomorrow but most of our country's elete (anyone NOT working in retail) get to take a three day holiday. It is the lot of the rest of us to stand by to serve the revelers. For such festive occasions as this I always put on my best smile and greet them warmly as they enter our domain: "Good Morning sir/madame and welcome to Walmart." Of course in the Walmart dialect this phrase has another meaning: "Ok, take your shopping cart and get outta my face!" In spite of the holiday today went quite smoothly, not once did I have to resort to two syllable words to smite the heathen Bubbas down. In fact I even had a reserve of energy left at quiting time and was able to walk out of the store more or less upright and not crawl as is so often the case. It was very pleasant, after a long hard day, to come back to the bosom of my family. First order of business upon arriving back at Casa Tor of course was to do hand to hand with Molly, my Black Lab in order to reclaim my recliner which she mistakenly claimed as her on as soon as I left for work this morning. Then I had to repel the evil designs of my dear wife who had dragged some of her excerise equipment into the living room in the misplaced belief she could trick me once more into using any of it. After all of this was sorted out to my satisfaction, I was able to relax in relative comfort for awhile and contimplate the inside of my eyelids....ahh the joys of a King in his Castle! Now I sit here composing this missive for you, my friends and the one thought that is uppermost in my mind is: GOD, IF MEL READS THIS FLIGHT OF FANTASY SHE WILL RUIN THAT NEW FRYING PAN OF HER'S ON MY HEAD!!!! |
| I don't have any one subject today, rather this will be sort of a scatter shot approach. First off, what happend to the color thing on WDC? For a few days we have had these great new color schemes working on different pages and they looked great...now they seem to be gone. I really wish we could keep the colors full time, they really add to the site. Secondly, I am happy to report that Aug. is gone and I have once again escaped a fate worse than death for any husband. One weekend a month we have what is called "Trade Days" here in my home town. Trade Days is one huge flea market. On this weekend hundreds of vendors converge on our local park and set up booths where they sell everything imaginable. Each month I have to struggle to find an excuse not be dragged to this all day shop-a-thon with Mel. August was almost my Waterloo. I had run out of excuses not to go and I was beginning to panic as the weekend drew near. Fortunately I was saved by Divine Intervention...MEL FORGOT ABOUT IT! She did not think about going until the weekend was over! SAVED AGAIN! Finally, I got a phone call this morning, it was my daughter, Melissa. She wanted to know if we were going to be home today because she and her boyfriend wanted to drive in from Houston and visit this evening. I told her of course I would be home and we would love to see them. I am hoping that the visit has a purpose. Maybe, just maybe she wants to break the news to me that she and her boyfriend have set a wedding date! I really hope that is the case, the girl is 28 and she needs to hurry up and make me a grandpa! Besides, her boyfriend is a really great guy and I couldn't ask for anyone better for her. Well I gotta go get ready for my company...you guys have a good day and I will see you tomorrow |
| Another day has come and almost passed, the saga of the City of New Orleans continues... For three days before Katrina hit New Orleans officals urged people to leave the city. Five days ago the hurricane hit the Gulf Coast. The very next day, Monday, the levy on Lake Pontchartrain broke, flooding a large portion of the city. The city was brought to its knees, the infrastructure totally broke down. There was no police or at least very few and they didn't have any way to communicate with each other to coordinate their efforts. The call went out for all survivors to make their way to the Superdome....but there was no one able to impose law and order on this group so the lawless did what they have always done...took from the weak and terrorised others. Now after the levy broke on Monday efforts began to get national guardsmen and relief workers into the people trapped in the SuperDome. The only reason civilian relief workers didn't repond quicker is because they feared for their life. They HAD to wait for the military force to be ready before they could move forward. Now....in the days that elapsed before the military was ready and in place to move we have heard a growing noise from some folks about how lax the response has been. They seem to think that the military should have gone charging in there on Monday, as soon as the levy broke. Guess what folks...it takes time to gather that kind of force. I am speaking of the Military here. You don't just pick up the phone and direct 30,000 men to take off to New Orleans. These are national guardsmen, not regular army. They had to first be called up from civilian life. After that, there was the matter of working out logistics for a force that large...Do any of you know what goes into moving a force of 30,000 men even a hundred miles? The fact that they got there today, a mere four days after the levy broke, is amazing. The naysayers first said that the military COULDN'T react to this emergency because the President had them all in Iraq and Afganastan. Now they see that was a load of garbage and they have begun to tell anyone who will listen that it was done on purpose...that help was withheld by our President on purpose...ANYONE WHO BELIEVES THIS IS JUST AN IDIOT. So now the National Guard has come roaring in...followed by other police agencies and order is being restored. As I write this there is a group of about fifty to a hundred firemen and their families holed up in a building, pinned down by sniper fire. The army is on the way to clean out these animals. ************************************************* Now the people are being dispursed do different cities and states. At this writing a total of 75,000 survivors are being split up between Houston, Dallas and San Antonio. Texans are taking all we can, but what happens next? It is already being reported that the people will have to be away from their home for three to six months. They have no jobs, no money, no clothes. What happens after the first few weeks, does the state of Texas take over feeding and housing them in private homes? What is going to be needed at some point is for the government to step in and maybe set up a workforce like was done during the depression. They need to tell these folks that YES we will feed and house you but if you are healthy and able to work then you must join this work force. They will be put to work cleaning up the destruction made by the storm....and the lawless. For this work they will be paid. They will be paid a nominal fee in money AND they will have their food and housing paid for. I do not believe they should just be able to sit idle somewhere and get fed and housed while SOMEONE ELSE cleans up their city and gets it ready to move back into. I will wait and see what the next few weeks brings. The cynic in my believes we here in Texas just inherited 75,000 new members of our state welfare system. |
| And it just keeps getting worse and worse..... I have sat here for two days watching the situation in the states effected by hurricane Katrina go steadily down hill. This morning it is reported that rescue efforts in New Orleans has been suspended because of fear for the safety of the rescuers. I find this the most distressing news of all. New Orleans has roving bands of looters, many armed with guns stolen from destroyed businesses. In effect, this very small segment of the population is causing all the rest of the people who need help to suffer needlessly. I can not tell you how hard it is for me to write this blog entry. Like most of you, my heart is heavy with the suffering of these innocent people but at the same time I am outraged that these bands of lawless animals have been allowed to make life even harder for the people effected. My novel, Time of Troubles, deals with this same scenerio, the breakdown of civil law and order. It is heartbreaking to see that a few of the things I wrote about seem to be actually happening in real life. As of this morning 9000 sq. miles of this nation has been labeled a Disaster Area. The rest of the country wants desperately to do something to help these people but the sheer size of area effected and the number of people needing help is daunting. Where do we start? How do we orgnize in such a way as to get things done quickly? Texas has stepped up to the plate, I am happy to see. The city of Houston is taking 25,000 people from the stricken New Orleans and will house them in the AstroDome. San Antonio will take a like number as well. Texas governor Rick Perry has ordered that all displaced children who are sent to Texas be immediatly enrolled in our schools at no cost. They will also be given clothes for school and they will be fed. We have to do more. I would love to see the military sent into New Orleans with orders to STOP the looters and disarming them using whatever force nessary so we can get on with helping all the people who really need our help. I think, for the time being, my blog will deal with this unfolding emergency. I wish I could do more. |
| The last day of the month has arrived and as I look over to the left at my calander I notice ONE black day. That's ok since I PLANNED that black day, or should I say, a non-entry day. The day I speak of was the 9th and it was my anniversary. I didn't make an entry that day on purpose. The bad thing is that I expected and planned on not making an entry every day while I was on vacation, but unfortunately I didn't miss a day. I had planned on writing the whole vacation on my novel but I suffered a small block and was not able to write until last night. I pounded out a chapter last night and it was like pulling teeth...but I got it done. "Invalid Entry"  IN case anyone wants to see it, I hope that works.******************************************** ON the Writer News Front: Today I was the happy recipient of my very first rejection notice via email. What a wonderful thing email is. No longer does one have to wait weeks to find out that what they have written is viewed as totally unacceptable by the powers that be....publishers. Now we can look forward to getting that word in just a matter of a few days, you gotta love this modern age in which we live. Having recieved this validation of my own feelings of inadequacy, I have had to give some thought to what I am doing here. It is plain to see that whatever else my little stories might be, they are not something that is either needed or wanted in general print. LOL! Really makes me want to chuck the whole thing and stop trying to masqurade as a writer. Unfortunately for the rest of you that does not include blogs. I see this forum as a place I can go to vent and to state my own beliefs or just be silly, with no expectations of anything being published. So, while I might not measure up to the standards of a writer.....I can still aggravate the heck out of people with this blog. You know, when all is said and done....this has been a bummer of a day and I apoligize for interjecting an overall negative tone into the blog page today....think I need to just go do something constructive....LOL! God, that will be a first! Have a good day my friends and I will check in and reply to your blogs later today, I promise. |
| Let me ask you something. If you went to your neighborhood grocery tomorrow and you walked back to the milk cooler and started to grab a gallon of milk. But, before you could get it, the store owner came running up and told you that, because of a decease that has struck milk cows in Montana, the next shipment of milk he buys is gonna be much more expensive....so he is raising the price of the milk already in his cooler! Would you stand for that? Would you stand by and just shrug ok, and pay the extra price or would you tell that store owner where to stick his gallon of milk? No, you would not stand for it...that's price gouging and you would raise holy hell. Ok, the milk he gets in tomorrow will be higher and we will pay the price...then..not now. So why do we let gas stations get away with it every single day? Gas stations have large underground tanks where they store their gas until it is sold. They buy the gas on Monday, at one price and they begin to sell it thru the pumps. Then, on Wednesday we get a REPORT on the news that some disaster has struck a refinery or because of the war in Iraq, prices for a barrel of oil has risen....... The station owner goes out...that day...and changes the price at the pump. In effect he raises the price for the gas he has already paid a lower price for himself, instead of waiting until his next delivery when the price will go up on him. JUST LIKE THE GUY WITH THE GALLON OF MILK. And we just shrug and take it...we pay the price. The thing is THEY KNOW we will go along with it, they have us by the short hairs because we need the gas to go to work or anywhere else we might need to go. I have to wonder, what would happen if we just said...HELL NO! I WON'T PAY THAT PRICE. What if we all went a week without buying gas....WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. After all, price is set by demand. What if, for a week, there was NO demand for their product, what would happen to their price then? Now for those of you who actually believe we have an oil shortage......WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE. There is no shortage. According to independent studies, our oil reserves are at the same level they were 35 to 40 years ago. In fact, when faced with uncertain supply from the Middle East, the government has cut back domestic production of oil. I talked to a guy today whose brother owns three oil wells. He told me that the government has ordered two of the wells capped and then ordered production on the remaining well cut back to half it's normal production. Does that sound like they are worried about not having enough oil? So what would happen if we just say "Hell No. We won't buy your gas at this price." It would be nice to see......but it will never happen, not in America anyway. We Americans are too spoiled. We want our gas so we can go when and where we want to go. We want to drive our big gas guzzling cars and SUVs and so what if we have to pay more? We will just snivel and whine and then PAY THE PRICE. It's a shame really, what we need is a gas party like the "Tea Party" we had way back in the beginning of this country. Just my opinion |
Just a short entry here...I already did my damage for today...I just had to leave this for Wind, and anyone else that might be interested. I think it was Wind who mentioned, in her blog that she would be willing to pay money to actually see what CC looked like...well girl..I take cash, check or credit card!!! LOL LOL!
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| DATE: August 29, 2005 TIME: 9:34 A.M. (I don't care what WDC says) SUBJECT: News: Nationl, World and Personal NEWS FLASH: DATELINE NEW ORLEANS: CATEGORY FIVE HURRICANE PACKS STRONG WINDS AND RAIN! Well Duh! Did they not know this would be the case? Did the idea of 190mph winds come as a complete surprise to the weathermen? Folks, is it just me or do the rest of you note some manufactured drama in these news reports. They do this every dang time a storm hits the coast. It doesn't matter what the size of the storm is, cat. 5 or cat. 1, it is always reported like the onset of Armaggedon! Every channel I flipped through this morning had their own shot of one of their weather guys standing out in the street in one of the cities in the path of the Hurricane. Now they SAY these people are weathermen but I have my own theory on that. I firmly believe that each of those people are actually not weathermen at all but rather they are just the ones who have pissed off their boss at the station the worse. THEY ARE THE ONES SENT OFF TO STAND IN THE PATH OF THE HURRICANE. Do they really need someone to stand out in that mess in order to show what a Cat.5 hurricane can do? Do they really think that the viewing public is too dense to KNOW already? What is really funny is watching them, as they realize that what they are showing doesn't quite live up to their dramatic build up of the danger.....you can hear them almost APOLIGIZING for the wind not blowing stronger and for the buildings not falling down around them. A wonderful example of how they over dramatize an event: They reported about all the people who took refuge in the SuperDome in New Orleans. When the networks first started reporting on this they showed long lines of folks trying to get into the dome and the reported stated that the dome could hold 67,000 thousand people but "Today it might have to hold as many as 100,000"!!! It ended up housing about 12,000...go figure. Then, as soon as the rain started and the hurricane came ashore, the networks almost gleefully jumped on the fact that the dome was leaking and began to question wither or not the Dome could hold up under the storm without collapsing! Did they give any thought about that report being heard by people inside the Dome, listening on transistor radios? Did they think for a moment about the panic that report might have brought on? Of course not. All they could see was a POSSIBLE Major catastrophe....and big rateings. *************************************** In other news, from San Sabistian, Spain: They have had the annual Running of the Bulls. This is proof postitive that not ALL the Bubbas reside in Texas. This event should be entered in The Stupid Olympics. It this event took place anywhere else but Spain it would be reason enough for a mass commetment of the participants into the nearest mental health facility. As it is though, it is viewed as a perfectly normal pasttime. I loved the shot they got this year that we will probably get to see over and over for months. It seems that, in the town of San Sabestian, as the crowd of people who were running from the herd of bulls entered the stadium someone tripped and fell and caused everyone behind him to fall. This caused a huge pile of people which completely blocked the entrance. So, of course, when the bulls got to that point, they had no recourse but to CLIMB over all the prone bodies. I'm sorry, but I was laughing my butt off as I watched this. It couldn't happen to a more deserving bunch of idiots. To the rest of the world Texans might seem a bit dense and slow but I tell you one thing for sure, we learned at a very early age that the safest place you can be is BEHIND a running bull....not in front of him! I can't help it....every year I cheer for the bulls. ******************************************* In the personal news front: I am in big trouble, worse than standing in front of a bull or in the path of a Cat.5 Hurricane. I am home on vacation with nothing planned. Yes friends, no travel this vacation for me. For those of you worried about all those people in New Orleans and Mobile....think about me, standing all alone in the path of Hurricane Mel! My own survival is much more in question than anyone living east of the Sabine River! Not only am I in eminent danger of bodily harm from a beserk, menopausal woman with a hair-trigger, but now I have run into a large block with my story, Bygone Heart. For some reason the words have dried up. I did two paragraphs yesterday and had to stop...nothing would come. Now this happens from time to time with me and it is mainly due to the way I write. I never do outlines, or any kind of overview of the story FIRST. all I do is sit down at the computer and the story flows.....sometimes.... When it won't flow I have to leave it alone until it is ready to come out. Sometimes this takes a day....sometimes a lot longer. I just have to wait it out. The problem with this is that now not only do I not have any travel plans to occupy my better half, but I don't have any pressing writing project to keep me out of harm's way. As a result of this I find myself being a bit frustrated and when I get this way I tend to let my .45cal. mouth overload my .22cal. arse! In other words, I tend to say the wrong thing, at the wrong time. Like this morning....I started off wrong just by pointing out to her that her glass of tea looked a bit dark and she must have made it entirely too strong.....WRONG THING TO SAY! Do any of you know any good way to remove tea stains from clothes? Ok, that's enough from the news front....I think I will retire to my storm shelter and wait for Hurricane Mel to run it's course...hopefully I will be able to make an entry tomorrow...Not sure if the full body cast will allow that much movement...GAWD! |
| Ok, let me just say right off the top....I hate Commercials! I hate them on TV where they always break the flow of the story I am watching and I hate them cluttering up the printed page of magazines I chose to read. Which brings me to something I JUST NOW noticed on my own little Blog.....COMMERCIALS! HOW DARE THEM! You all have them at the top of each of your Blogs...just look at them. Here is what appeared on mine..... "Gabby's Ribs & BarB-Q Rib Fest & Live Music Friday & Sat Margaritas, Pitchers, Racks of Ribs." "Famous Dave's Restaurant Get Local Directions, Addresses, Phone Numbers & More on MapQuest!" Now I ask you...What is it about my blog that makes them think that commericals for a Restaurant and a Rib Joint would do well ON MY BLOG PAGE!!! What was it about MY BLOG that brought them to the conclusion that a RIB JOINT would do well advertised here? Ok, I know, by asking that question, I am leaving myself open for CC and Dan to come in here and have some fun with it....GRRRRRRRR! I mean, really, why couldn't they have advertised something else....Like maybe The Smithsonian Museum or maybe some other high tone damn thing....WHY A DANG RIB JOINT!!!! Of course Mel, being the voice of reason, suggested that it might be because I talked about a Restaurant in my other blog entry....OK! Then using that logic, if I write about the spread of decease during entercourse on my next blog, will they advertise TROJAN CONDOMS at the top of the page?????? I think we should all do that. We should write about something off the wall and see if we can influnce the ad placement on our blog pages. LET'S MESS WITH THEM SOME! *************************************************** The above is a prime example of how I can get so easily sidetracked from my plans. I had not planned on writing on this subject but when I opened my blog and saw that...BAM! I went spinning off on a tangent. You see, that is the problem I have. I am not well ordered and orginized like my buddy Dan, I just go off! I have absolutely no control...LOL LOL! Well, there you have it and now you will have to wait until later to get the blog I had PLANNED on writing today...trust me, it was better. |
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Congrats on 500 entries, and we are all looking forward to the sequel.