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 |  Zee Journal! |
| My blog. Journal. Documentary. Life. Sometimes. |
| I can't wait until Friday. "Walk the Line" comes out. Johnny Cash has been a favorite of three generations. My grandfather was a big fan, my mother is a big fan, and so am I. How amazing is that? I bought the new CD that they put out of his: "The Legend of Johnny Cash". It's a wonderful compilation of his music, taking bits from his more recent covers and even a song from "The Highwaymen". So...little...swimming...in my brain. |
| So yeah, my creative juices have been leaking in other places lately. I've been making Signatures for people the past couple of days. I've only made 3, but each one has had a lot of work put into them. I hate generic looking artwork, especially when it is something I produce. What this means is that I will spend 5 hours looking for the perfect picture(s). Now for the showing of my fruits of labor: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** For loon. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** For susanL. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** For §Shattered Angel§. For those of you regulars here at my blog and in my port, don't be suprised when you find something like this in your mailbox. I've been needing a brush up on Photoshop for a while and these are great excuses to practice. ;) |
| Last night I ended up having a myriad of dreams, and most of them involved my ex-girlfriend Marne. It was the same type of dream. We're together somewhere but always at an arms length. It's been a very long time since I've had dreams with her in it. Probably at least six months. I think it's because I was sitting on my couch yesterday and realized that it has been a year since the last time I hugged her. I've found myself getting the wish I wanted: to forget her. I am forgetting her, and for some reason that spooked the hell out of me. I've spent most of the day shaking it off. I miss her. Still do. Alas, the curse of living a life without redo's. I've been playing "Metroid Pinball" on my GameBoy DS. A lot of fun, if a bit on the frustrating side. You get all your upgrades and then *poof* you lose your last ball and have to start over. Yargh. I dig pinball. I also have been playing "Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrows" which is the DS sequel to the GameBoy Advanced "Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow". It's pretty fun so far. Although I do have to agree with most game mags with the touch screen bonuses being nothing more than a simple gimmick. It is nice to be able to move around the inventory screen quickly with it though. That is awesome fo' sho'. Last night I played Shauna in Scrabble for like 4 hours. In a tie-breaker I came out ahead after pulling a 34 point 'wizen' out of my ass. Ph34r m3. (Translated from leet speak or 1337 $p34k in their culture, "Fear me") |
| I've not had much to say lately. I can't really explain why, it's just happened. Even now it's an exercise to write something into my blog. I guess it's been a long week and that has kept me relatively drained. As of last night I'm completely caught up with Nip/Tuck. Awesome show. |
| Life is so akward. 4:30 in the morning and I'm still up. I had a long talk with Shauna tonight. She seemed to be depressed for most of the evening and so I asked her if anything was wrong. She said she wasn't, but when I pressed her she told me that she had stopped taking her Lexapro. I informed her that stopping taking an anti-depressant can cause an almost withdrawal like state. Her doctor didn't tell her. I told her she should consider asking my doctor about it. After her sever illness she started going to my family doctor since her main practitioner didn't seem capable of telling her head from her ass. She replied that she didn't feel comfortable enough with my doctor. She fears being told that she might have a problem. A problem being a true depression disorder. I told her it was better to find out if something was going on, rather than ignoring it. I asked her if she thought I was weak because I was going to a counselor again. She said that it made her think of me as being strong because I was seeking the help to better my life. She said she wasn't strong enough to do the same. Her beliefs are much like mine were at her age: "My life isn't half as bad as what others have to go through." There is a lot worse out there in the world, but that doesn't make her or my own situation any less real. I'm not sure if she would feel comfortable with me expressing her family history, but suffice to say, her father is a real winner. I would personally like to hang the man by his genitalia. She is a wonderful girl, and deserves the best life can offer. Tomorrow I am going to be giving a call to a woman who is trying to get her certification to be a life coach. She is the mentor of my friend Michele, and has been teaching for over 20 years. As part of her certification she is taking on five people. I'm hoping to be one of them. On Thursday I begin my counselling again. It was a mistake to have stopped, but at the time it felt like the best choice in my mind. Granted, I can't be a rocket scientist all of the time. I gave Shauna a hug, told her she was a great girl and stronger than she thought. I also told her she deserved to be able to live a life without the control of unwanted emotions. And so, at 4:46 I'm going to go to sleep so I can make it to school. God damnit I need to change my life around. Everything feels like it is spinning out of control. |
| So I installed Photoshop back onto my computer. I haven't really touched it since I decided to not follow the path of the Web Designer. The first person to reep the benefits of it was loon. She has just started a new review forum for erotica, and needed a new review sig, and thus, a new folder in my portfolio was born! The actual piece I made for her can be seen here:
Like it? If you do and you are a normal here to my blog(you guys know who you are) feel free to leave a comment about requesting one. I need practice in Photoshop and would love to facilitate my longtime readers with a flashy piece of art to slap on the bottom of their posts or what not. Anyways, I'm gonna get naked and take a shower. Don't give me that look, have you ever taken a shower with your clothes on? It just doesn't work the same. |
Chapter 1 of Sauriel has been scribed. Get a chance to read it that would be awesome. It's a bit long, so I understand otherwise.
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| I was talking with susanL the other night when she gave me an interesting bit of advice. We were talking about my writing and I asked her what she thought I could do to improve on it. She said she felt I needed to write it with the passion I seem to reserver for other topics. An example of this is when I talk to her about politics or something I feel strongly about. She explained that when she reads my stories it seems like I hold back. She says it almost always seems like it borders on a fine line between losing control and remaining restrained. She suggested that I do a bit more freewriting and keep up on my reading. Today I wrote a bit more on my Sauriel piece trying to keep that in mind as I focused on the story. When I finished and gave it to her she felt I had made a great difference, but in writing it like that I felt different. I wrote two full solid pages in the blink of an eye and time just seemed to slip away. For once I stopped writing the story thinking, "Would this how I would want this character to act like" and let the character decide for themselves. It was interesting, and different. Let's hope it keeps working like that ;) But I'm out for the night. Or morning. Or whatever you people want to call it. The sun has yet to come up ;) Night. |
Last night I finally got to really putting pen to paper for my story based around the character "Sauriel". You can find it here:
It's a taste of the first chapter. Tell me what ya think if you get the chance. I became pretty agitated with the Moderators last night in scroll. As many of you probably know, it seems like a moderator is always around when you don't want them to be. You might say "That is stupid" and get the e-mail in your box saying, "You are teh fuct for saying a non-'e' word. You will rot in the worst levels of hell for this, right next to the baby eaters." Last night Terryjroo(think that is it) and Eliot were both openly conversing about bodily fluids in innuendo. Semen and Poop for that matter. They weren't even reprimanded for it. So, being the Resistance Fighter I am I simply put into chat that I was dissapointed in them. SR said she had just got on and must have missed it. My belief is that the system is partial. I think certain people are exempt from some of the extreme rules because they are friends or liked moreso than others. It's bullshit. If they want a system like the one they enforce on me, I feel that it needs to be spread evenly across. When I get slapped for stupid, they should easily be slapped for making references. I've been slapped close to 20 times now. I've pushed the envelope with my potty words(stupid, dang, etc.) to have the StoryMaster make a direct comment to me. I'm fucking hardcore. |
| Haven't had much to blog about this week, or really wanted to. So lame. I will probably blog a little bit more tonight. Gonna go see "Jarhead" with my dad. He has been biting the bit to see it. Talk with you all later ;) |
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