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 |  Zee Journal! |
| My blog. Journal. Documentary. Life. Sometimes. |
| Ugh. Sick, tired, and I have a three page paper on Religious Symbolism in "Araby" to write. I was just trying to drudge up some conversation in the scroll to see if anyone was knowledgeable enough to bounce some ideas off of, when I accidently mistyped someone and put in this: "*piece. Ugh. stupid sickness and drugs. Can't ype" I got slapped with a "no-no point". I'm grouchy, and this pisses me off. I said stupid and drugs in reference to medicine and I get a point on my record. Ugh. That is just ridiculous. Does that mean I can't use the term "Drug Store" in Scroll? Does that mean I can't use the word "Ignorant" because it is a synonym of Stupid? That's just stupid. Shit. "No comments about drugs(legal/illegal)". Retarded. People talk about worse shit in there all the time. I make a simple comment and I get a point against my record. It's not like I said I was crushing the god damn pills up and then making a line so that I could snort the fucker. See, this is what happens when I get sick. I get easily annoyed. This is almost as bad as the time I got fined for saying "Good Night" in Japanese. Reminds me of this Chapelle Show skit and Chapelle is ranting about this guy getting a part over him and he cusses causing his kid to run down the hall: "That's right! Tell your mom I've been cussing in the house. Shit!" |
| Well, I have now completed my ownage of Ultimate Spider-Man for the X-Box. It was over too quick. Way too quick. It felt like the game should have just started and *bamf* it's finished. I dunno. Great graphics. Love the story, just not enough of it. The controls didn't feel as precise as the Spider-Man 2 game too, and I really didn't like how they changed the web swinging around in this game. They tried to make it a bit simpler I think, and honestly, it took half the fun away. The things I could accomplish in the Spider-Man 2 game were by far more amazing than what was capable here. I also felt at a loss to see that they removed the buyable abilities. In this game you get the abilities after certain parts of the story mode. It's kind of lame. I guess I could chalk it all up to the fact that I pretty much did what was required of me and then went on to the next story mission. However, it just seemed like I was getting into the game when I beat it. Granted, I have put like 10 hours into the game, but that really is no time in today's world of video games. 10 Hours is a rental, and not what I expect out of my favorite comic character. The voice over work was very well done, although the actual dubbing in some places was splotchy. Especially a scene between Trask and a scientist in which it looks like a bad 60's Godzilla movie. Oh well, maybe the sequel will be better. Mmm... |
| 12:12 AM and Shawn is going to bed. Early, I know, but the boy needs sleep. Been a tiring day. Went to class, got home, began cleaning up, and finished off the night by taking care of my mom. She underwent seven hour of dental surgery today and the general anasthetic(sp?) kept her pretty dead. I wrote a short piece in my "Whole" folder for those of you interested. It's an autobiographical piece looking back on being a kid. I'm kind of thinking about maybe writing a whole series of these and maybe using them as my show piece for the Creative Writing program. Anyways, sorry for such a drab blog piece for today. Hope everyone is doing well. Night ;) |
| Crap. You people need to stop being so god damn interesting. It's getting to a point a guy can't get to sleep because he is up talking to you. If anyone hasn't noticed, I have a new item in my port. It's a Tech Support Forum for Computers. Figure I should give something back to the Writing.com community. Even if they do take my money. And such precious money it is. I need sleep. I'm gibbering. |
| So akward. Around 9 at night I get a call from Michele. She apologizes to me on the phone, summing it up as, "I'm your friend, not your mother." She says that the things she yelled at me about today(see post 60/61) was something she had no right to yell at me about. That is something I should be doing, or someone like my mother, which she wasn't. I dunno. To be honest, that hurt me 100x more than her yelling at me this morning. Why is it the only people who choose to be vocal in my life are the ones I shouldn't be listening to? It's not even fair for me to say something like that. Sometimes I just feel like I want to move somewhere out in the middle of nowhere by myself. To a place I can go and just slowly fade into memory. Somewhere where I won't hurt anyone, or give myself the chance to let them down. Sometimes I'm such a whiny little bitch. |
| I've been meaning to sit and mull over this thought in my journal for a while, but I have yet to get the motivation to do. Life has generally been on an upswing lately, but still I have struggled with the desire to actually continue the "good fight". I feel like I need a long vacation. Normally the most basic, and the strongest of my responsibilities, such as school have began to falter in my mind. Although I've been doing the work, I've cared less about getting to some of my classes. Especially my computer class. It's just...ugh...annoying. It feels like I've figured out one aspect of my life, just to have the other half go out of control. Last night I gave into my desires and I smoked. Something I've said I wasn't going to do. Granted, it was only one time, but as I sit now I think about my mother. How many times had she told me, "It was one time." Some might find it odd for me to compare myself to my mother. Granted, I smoke, but I have never let that hurt others. Not in the slightest. Hell, I've been told I just plain seem more at peace when I have. Yet, that doesn't make it right. Rather, it should pose a blaring problem within my own life that should make me think why I need to smoke to feel at peace. I let a lot of people down last night. I will never lie about the things I do, no matter how harsh they may be. I'll try and be as honest with everyone as I can. A good friend of mine said I did it because I wanted someone to tell me I shouldn't be doing it. A part of me can't disagree with that. In a circle of friends where all they say is, "Do it" I can't say that I don't want someone to say "Don't do it". This morning I have had a number of people call me and give me the disappointed speech. Ugh. A part of me wants to sit and say "Give me a break". A larger part wants me to say "Thank you." |
| Ho-hum day. 9/24/05 9:00 am: Wake up and begin preparing for my trip from Tucson, Arizona to Phoenix, Arizona. 10:00 am: Get gas and say bye to my mother. 10:30 am: On the road. 1 hour, 45 minutes later... 12:00 pm: I'm sitting in the airport with a hot Tazo Chai waking for my brother and his girlfriend to land. 1:00 pm: Back at home. Planning begins for the night's festivities: A movie with about 7 of my other friends. 5:00 pm: List of friends going to the movie have dwindled to 4. 6:30 pm: Movie is at 7:30. Now the list of friends has dwindled to two, along with Michele and her husband who will meet us there. 7:20 pm: One of the two friends finally gets his ass to my house. 7:40 pm: Get to theater and find a fifteen minute wait. Call Michele and tell her sorry we couldn't make it to the 7:30 they were watching. We had to wait for 8:30's. 8:00 pm: Played DDR. White boys can dance. 8:30 pm: Movie begins. 9:45 pm: Movie ends. Like the story but the ending seems a little out of place. 10:30 pm: Return back home with two previously stated friends 10:40 pm: I succumb to the dark side. I smoke. 12:00 am: Sitting here writing this. Ugh. |
| Ugh. So late. Been watching MTV music videos talking to people here on Writing.com. You guys keep me up way past my bedtime. Been writing and reviewing all day. It's so nice to be part of this community: honestly. In the real world I always sit and think to myself, "I wish I had friends that were as into writing as I am." Well, I found that here. loon, susanL, and Shattered you gals make my day! I'm sorry but I don't have anything too interesting to talk about. So late. Brain feels like those old drug commercials. "This is your brain." Lifts up standard black pan. "This is your brain at 2:43 in the morning." Throws a live gerbil onto it. |
Erotica shall bring us together! Well, at least for loon and myself. If you haven't checked out her portfolio, you really need to. All the cool kids are doing it too. Don't you want to be cool? You can find her port here:
To add to the list of things the cool kids are doing now, you need to check out Escape if you are an RPer. Now I'm not doing this because I have been threatened. Heaven's no. I was promised pain and suffering otherwise.
Today has been such a full day for me in my Writing.com world. I talked for hours, got a short story done(which I hate, HATE I TELL YOU!), and started out my RPing career here with Aoba from my Tes story. Even though I was called a lame ass for using a regular Katana. Oh well, can't all be perfect? ;) ::Ducks from loon's impending attack:: It's okay, she lives in Australia anyways. It's like 4 in the afternoon on the 22nd there. Shit, she's in the future. I would also like to get this little tidbit out now because I know she will probably be all kinds of busy tomorrow, and I'll make sure to call her too, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELE! You're 22 and old like me! Woo! You guys should check out her blog too. It's very heartfelt and deserving of a look. Hell, maybe we can get her to actually post in it more! Just send her angry hate male threatening her dogs. She loves that http://www.bloglines.com/blog/MicheleRobinson?id=1 Woo! I'm out for a bit ::Pants:: |
| And so another day of my life comes to a wonderful end. Where do the days go? I just got done helping a friend work through some writing for what she hopes to turn in for a contest. The girl has an amazing way with words. A couple of days ago I finally gathered my belongings from my brother's house, and with it the rest of my clothes. I have never been so thankful to have my clothes back. I was really getting sick of wearing the same set I had before. I washed what I am wearing now, but yet the smell of my old rom over there keeps sparking all of these memories. The smell of my clothes is completely different from there to where I am now, and with it constant reminders come into my head. When I look back on my time over at my brother's I can only picture a train wreck. I moved in the night before my birthday, and technically really moved in on my birthday. I remember only I think two people calling me to wish me a fond happy birthday. I really didn't care. In that time I fell off the wagon when it came to my pot use. It was everywhere with my roommates and I just fell right back into that groove. I don't so much have a problem with pot or people that smoke it, it's just not for me and the things I want to get accomplished in my life. I started dating Jinx, and by the end of my time there our relationship was over. That relationship entailed so much excess crap that I dragged into it. In my loneliness I allowed myself to start a relationship I am not sure I ever intended to really go anywhere and with a person I was incredibly close with before hand. In that house I found myself miserable. It was the physical represenation of all the things I don't want in my life. Unstable people, drug use, uncertainty, etc. Some of my friends have made sure to comment to me though that returning back to my parents house(minus the drug use) really isn't that much different. Overall though I wouldn't trade it for anything. So many things in my life I feel bad about, but I'm not quite sure I would do it any other way. The smell of this shirt though somehow brings back some comfort. It's kind of nice. |
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