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Rated: E · In & Out · Other · #819237
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*Penbl* Author: Daisan          [Sep 27, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Crime/Gangster :: Mystery :: Other
*Penr* Details: Just an exercise in tone and effective use of omniscient narration. I want to know if it's effectively conveying the mood and enhancing the back and forth exchange. Constructive critique requested.
  [Fiction]

 Tell Me Sumthin'  (13+)
Tense exchange between opposing sides looking for stolen money with a murder thrown in.
#2281804 by Daisan



*Penbl* Author: Surgec          [Sep 26, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Fantasy :: Other
*Penr* Details: Looking for feedback on the story, characters as well as where prose can be improved.
  [Fiction]

 HAGSBANE, PART 1  (13+)
The wold is shifting from the Age of the Novissime Empire in to an unknown future.
#2280690 by Surgec



*Penbl* Author: Steven (Penguins > Halloween)          [Sep 24, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Relationship :: Family :: Other
*Penr* Details: The main thing: does it engage the reader? (Please note: Australianisms abound in speling, slang, etc.)
  [Chapter]

 Chapter 1  (13+)
First chapter of a long WiP. Does it engage? Will end up being science fictiony. 3k words
#2281603 by Steven (Penguins > Halloween)



*Penbl* Author: Marrikasala          [Sep 17, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Women's :: Comedy :: Cultural
*Penr* Details: All comments/help welcomed and appreciated.
  [Poetry]

 IT"S NOT YOUR DAY  (E)
Assumptions are not always good.
#2280967 by Marrikasala



*Penbl* Author: Marrikasala          [Sep 15, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Inspirational :: Self Help :: Experience
*Penr* Details: Over the years my writing has covered many themes. I love poetry, short stories, novels. I do not have a favorite style if I can call it that. I would just like to know if my thoughts can be relatable. I am braced for any feedback.
  [Poetry]

 Loneliness  (E)
In spite of the thorns...
#2279461 by Marrikasala



*Penbl* Author: Andrew W          [Sep 13, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Adult :: Dark :: Fantasy
*Penr* Details: I am looking for feedback on the content more so than on spelling and grammar.
  [Short Story]

 Ana  (18+)
Contest Story
#2279974 by Andrew W



*Penbl* Author: Andrew W          [Sep 12, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: History :: Military
*Penr* Details: I am looking for feedback on the content more so, than on spelling and grammar.
  [Short Story]

 The Man Who Never Was  (13+)
Contest entry from another site. Had to pick at least 5 items. I picked all 15. List below
#2279227 by Andrew W



*Penbl* Author: Mark Diaz          [Sep 10, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Other :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: The first chapter of my book about the characters omnipower, omnipresence, and omniscience.
  [Fiction]

 Oni - Chapter 1  (E)
The first chapter of my book about the characters omnipower, omnipresence, and omniscience
#2280496 by Mark Diaz



*Penbl* Author: mix n match          [Sep 8, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Cultural :: Writing.Com :: Computers
*Penr* Details: Just a few words will do. Is it any good? Does it need amending? Is there a fun message in it? Any honest opinions welcomed
Brian Pontypridd Wales
  [Poetry]

 The app-eal of Apps ?  (E)
Are we letting apps take over our lives? It seems like it doesn't it?
#2280404 by mix n match



*Penbl* Author: JJR2          [Sep 3, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Sci-fi :: Contest Entry :: Horror/Scary
*Penr* Details: Science Fiction. Please review with constructive critical comments.
  [Fiction]

 The Coin   (E)
Any sufficiently advanced technology?
#2279653 by JJR2



*Penbl* Author: BlakeFran3          [Sep 2, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Philosophy :: Experience :: Nonsense
*Penr* Details: Honest opinions. Whatever you thought, tell me. I just thank you for reading it!
  [Essay]

 Humanity's Question of Existence   (E)
The ability of a human being to introspect and see where it leads them.
#2279850 by BlakeFran3



*Penbl* Author: Scotty1615          [Aug 30, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Philosophy :: Arts :: Cultural
*Penr* Details: Could you please review? Thanks,!
  [Poetry]

 The Binding of the Young  (E)
Haiku(Senryu) early asian culture...footbinding
#2279638 by Scotty1615



*Penbl* Author: Weaveroftalltales          [Aug 28, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Crime/Gangster :: Other
*Penr* Details: This is the first chapter of a planned longer work. Please let me know of any typos, errors, or anything else. I appreciate all the help I can get. I'm new to writing in general.

  [Fiction]

 Ben There- Chapter 1  (18+)
Being hung up in a basement wasn't my idea of fun. Then again, I didn't have much choice.
#2277935 by Weaveroftalltales



*Penbl* Author: Ruthie4u          [Aug 28, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Community :: Family
*Penr* Details: Please review this story of mine for its interest and flow. Any and all suggestions and thoughts are welcome. Thank you!!
  [Fiction]

 Joys of Little Things in Life  (E)
A religious feast in a village in Goa,India & a lonely old woman, her days and hopes
#2279181 by Ruthie4u



*Penbl* Author: Lucinda Lynx          [Aug 25, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Women's :: Other :: None
*Penr* Details: Some of those who have read this on other forums have told me the discussion between characters doesn't sound natural. I have changed this many times. Does the discussion sound natural now?
  [Prose]

 Clouds on the sky of life Chapter 1  (E)
Connie and Susan meet by accident when Connie and Charles go to Hotel Seawind.
#2279271 by Lucinda Lynx



*Penbl* Author: SpookyBee          [Aug 25, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Supernatural :: Contest Entry :: Young Adult
*Penr* Details: Appreciate the feedback.
  [Short Story]

 
STATIC
Darlene  (E)
A fortune teller doesn't believe in magic.
#2279273 by SpookyBee



*Penbl* Author: willy          [Aug 21, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Experience :: Personal :: Psychology
*Penr* Details: I've edited a poem written during the first covid lock-down, hope it stirs some memories for you
  [Poetry]

 Back in my day  (13+)
A poem, written during covid lock-down mourning the loss of love and life itself.
#2279020 by willy



*Penbl* Author: Sammy          [Aug 20, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Other :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: Back again, I would love to hear peoples thoughts on this one.
  [Poetry]

 Ode to music the poisonous antidote.   (E)
This poem describes a time when I was depressed and listening was unbearable for me.
#2278996 by Sammy



*Penbl* Author: Sammy          [Aug 19, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Other :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: Hello again I would be delighted if you could review this to please :)
  [Poetry]

 A murder ballad  (13+)
not sure how to describe this one
#2278910 by Sammy



*Penbl* Author: Charley          [Aug 8, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Comedy :: None :: None
*Penr* Details: I have been a storyteller for decades and want to transition into becoming a writer.

This is an attempt to work on the dialog.
  [Fiction]

A Matter of Priorities  (E)
Story all in Dialog at a baseball game
#2278069 by Charley



*Penbl* Author: lee.          [Aug 8, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Self Help :: None
*Penr* Details: I appreciate insight.
  [Poetry]

 Barren soil  (E)
Unanswered prayers
#2278226 by lee.



*Penbl* Author: Scotty1615          [Jul 31, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Emotional :: Experience :: Drama
*Penr* Details: Please review.
  [Short Story]

 The Holocaust Piano  (E)
A piano comes to life.
#2277661 by Scotty1615



*Penbl* Author: SSpark          [Jul 26, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Biographical :: Family :: Other
*Penr* Details: One of the more humorous memories from my childhood. Part of a collections of memories, and all characters have been introduced. Nanny and Pappaw are my grandparents, Belita and Tina my cousins, Dee Dee and Katy my sisters.
  [Short Story]

 SKINNY DIPPIN'  (E)
I'll admit it. I've been skinny dippin'. But it was Nanny's fault.
#2273259 by SSpark



*Penbl* Author: VanillaSoftArt          [Jul 25, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Erotica :: Teen :: Fanfiction
*Penr* Details: I gave myself a challenge to write an erotic story under 1.5K words, set in the MLP universe. I'd like to know strengths and weaknesses of this submission for the future.
  [Fiction]

 
STATIC
Scootaloo Wants Chocolate  (18+)
Hungry Scootaloo must buy the premium "Blast Bar". She'll offer her feet for extra money.
#2276809 by VanillaSoftArt



*Penbl* Author: lezismore-moreislez          [Jul 19, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Fantasy :: Action/Adventure :: Nature
*Penr* Details: Decided to give the Fantasy genre a go. Any feedback would be most appreciated. Thanks
  [Serial]

 
STATIC
Remus and the Wolf - Part One   (13+)
Remus gets chased by a wolf. Exert from Tales from The Enchanted Forest of Secret Wishes
#2276878 by lezismore-moreislez



*Penbl* Author: Vixey Todd          [Jul 18, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Romance/Love :: Erotica :: Adult
*Penr* Details: Please provide constructive feedback.
  [Novel]

 
BOOK
Two Irish Brothers  (18+)
Book 1 in the Trinity Knot Series.
#2276327 by Vixey Todd



*Penbl* Author: Joto-Kai          [Jul 18, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Spiritual :: Hobby/Craft :: Inspirational
*Penr* Details: In this short (298 words currently) Melvin nearly misses the point of his trip to the beach. Will a misfired goal and a foolish purchase derail his weekend or set him off to become what he wishes? Also: should I change to 3PL from 1st? Query for GPs
  [Short Story]

 Tide of Wood, Sand, and Sea  (ASR)
I shall live as a captain, even when the tide refuses to carry me.
#2276640 by Joto-Kai



*Penbl* Author: PureSciFiPlus          [Jul 16, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Teen :: Family :: Drama
*Penr* Details: Just finished creating my Short Story about a girl named Grace who is about to turn sixteen. And she wants to get her driver’s license when she turns sixteen. She only has one very, very big problem in doing that: her father.
  [Short Story]

 You Drive Me Crazy  (18+)
A father’s worse nightmare. Teaching his daughter how to drive.
#2276686 by PureSciFiPlus



*Penbl* Author: Daisan          [Jul 10, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Cultural :: Crime/Gangster :: Other
*Penr* Details: Piece I'm working on that's part of a larger story. Of course I'm interested in technical things like formatting but I'm more interested in if the story is communicated effectively in the way it's told and if the tone (which is humor) is achieved.
  [Fiction]

 The Mule Trainer  (18+)
A childhood lesson comes in handy when faced with a present day problem.
#2276341 by Daisan



*Penbl* Author: AliceLvs2Write          [Jul 8, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Friendship :: Mystery :: Women's
*Penr* Details: First time writing off a WDC writing prompt and would love some feedback on it. Thank you.
  [Fiction]

 
STATIC
Three  (E)
3 different people who find 3 different things in 3 different places on 3 different days
#2276231 by AliceLvs2Write



*Penbl* Author: Avid Novel Reader          [Jul 5, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Relationship :: Crime/Gangster :: Action/Adventure
*Penr* Details: I've just written a short story for this month's official contest. I'd love any feedback you can offer so that I can improve it before the deadline at the end of July. Any help is much appreciated. Thank you! :)
  [Short Story]

 
STATIC
Sid & Mabel's Diamond Wedding  (18+)
Sid is determined Mabel will enjoy her best wedding anniversary ever - British Spellings!
#2276073 by Avid Novel Reader



*Penbl* Author: ruwth          [Jul 4, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Personal :: Experience :: Biographical
*Penr* Details: Earn 1000 gift points from an auto-award item from my port. You can write a critique, offer a comment, anything you want. Simply read and write a response of some kind in the review box and earn your gift points.
  [Other]

STATIC
The Day I Called Jesus  (13+)
This is a true story. Short but true.
#1570698 by ruwth



*Penbl* Author: ~ShadowSilverMoon~🌌          [Jul 3, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Other :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: I'd like some reviews on this item please. Any suggestions are welcome.
  [Poetry]

 The Sea is Alive  (E)
Description of my favorite color without telling what it's called.
#2274331 by ~ShadowSilverMoon~🌌



*Penbl* Author: SSpark          [Jun 14, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Psychology :: Family :: Emotional
*Penr* Details: This piece is heavily weighted in symbolism. I'm anxious to find out how hard it is to find and understand those symbols. All honest reviews gratefully accepted.
  [Non-fiction]

 MAMA'S DEMONS  (18+)
This piece is heavily weighted in symbolism. I'm curious as to how much you get.
#2274843 by SSpark



*Penbl* Author: ponkacheese          [Jun 14, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Writing :: Medical :: Environment
*Penr* Details: Enjoy and let me know what you think. =)
  [Poetry]

 Worldwide Tragedy  (E)
On the altercations of COVID-19
#2271060 by ponkacheese



*Penbl* Author: green          [Jun 10, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Biographical :: Opinion :: Experience
*Penr* Details: Hey, everyone,

My weakness are the grammatical errors. My words flow but my punctuation stinks. I, probably, need help with all my pieces but we'll start with this one. Please be exact.

Thank you so much,

Stephanie
  [Essay]

 
STATIC
Being A Hermit Ain't Bad  (E)
Why I live the way I do
#2274526 by green



*Penbl* Author: MWse          [Jun 8, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Action/Adventure :: Fantasy :: Other
*Penr* Details: Hello, I'm looking for good criticism from all perspectives. The story is new so I can make adjustments If I know what to change. Thank you!
  [Novel]

 The Archives Of A Summoner  (GC)
A story about a young man and his dog that finds themselves in the market of another world
#2274447 by MWse



*Penbl* Author: MysteryBox          [Jun 4, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: Thriller/Suspense :: Paranormal
*Penr* Details: Newest short story. hitchhiking horror with a plot twist!
  [Fiction]

 Deadwood  (18+)
A hitchhiking encounter with a young girl sets the stage for a bizarre story with a twist.
#2274202 by MysteryBox



*Penbl* Author: Talia Foxtail          [May 30, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Biographical :: Other :: Other
*Penr* Details: I am looking mostly for storytelling and flow. Its non fiction so I can't add much, but I can edit out if it doesn't work.
  [Chapter]

 Chapter 1  (E)
Untitled non fiction WIP
#2273974 by Talia Foxtail



*Penbl* Author: Leslie Loo          [May 21, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Animal :: Children's :: Contest Entry
*Penr* Details: This is a story that I wrote six years ago. Check it out and let me know what you think. Also, tell me how I can improve the ending because to me, I'm not currently satisfied with it. Thanks!
  [Fiction]

 The Butterfly  (E)
A butterfly's POV on being kidnapped by a little girl
#2273403 by Leslie Loo



*Penbl* Author: Cat Carroll          [May 12, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Dark :: Supernatural :: Gothic
*Penr* Details: Hello! Please let me know if this works well or is too "fan-like" of Edgar Allan Poe's works. I chose to give those two well-known poems (The Raven & Annabel Lee) twists of my own along with my interpretation in a new poem. Thanks, dears!
  [Poetry]

 
STATIC
Nevermore  (13+)
A loose and deadly interpretation of Poe's The Raven & Annabel Lee in a new situation.
#2272865 by Cat Carroll



*Penbl* Author: trolle          [May 10, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Paranormal :: Romance/Love :: Supernatural
*Penr* Details: Looking for feedback on this to help me strengthen the development of the romantic connection and characterization and information the next part
  [Short Story]

 
STATIC
Papillon  (18+)
'set a thief to catch a thief' holds an undeniable truth; if one employs the right thief.
#2264685 by trolle



*Penbl* Author: Flower          [May 5, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Relationship :: Romance/Love :: Dark
*Penr* Details: This is my second poem, its about a toxic relationship, I'd love for some feedback, if possible.
  [Poetry]

 The Lovebirds Cage  (E)
This poem is about a toxic relationship. It talks about love bombing and control.
#2272493 by Flower



*Penbl* Author: Daffodil Washburn          [May 4, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Paranormal :: Thriller/Suspense :: Action/Adventure
*Penr* Details: Hello! I'd appreciate any feedback you have to give me!
(It's still a work in progress so if you have any helpful plot tips I would be beyond grateful!)
:)
  [Fiction]

 Serenade of the Butterfly  (E)
Something strange is happening deep in the heart of the Appalachian mountains. Incomplete.
#2272387 by Daffodil Washburn



*Penbl* Author: Sand Castles Shopgirl 739          [Apr 23, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Mystery :: History :: Other
*Penr* Details: Originally thought to be a preface, but am now torn between preface or chapter. This side story arose from a character sketch. The "parting gift" became a short story on its own. Not sure how to proceed here. Suggestions, please!!
  [Fiction]

 
STATIC
The First Promotion  (E)
This piece, once slated to be a preface, has languished in my Port. Still it calls to me.
#2172857 by Sand Castles Shopgirl 739



*Penbl* Author: Perhaps          [Apr 18, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Relationship :: Psychology :: Philosophy
*Penr* Details: Please review. Gift points will be 5000 each review
  [Poetry]

 Shaman's Trance  (E)
What if you are not alone in your meditation?
#1942416 by Perhaps



*Penbl* Author: Perhaps          [Apr 18, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Community :: Cultural :: History
*Penr* Details: Please review. Gift points will be 5000 each review
  [Poetry]

 Serpent lies...  (E)
How do you begin to explain something so reality shattering?
#2110735 by Perhaps



*Penbl* Author: Cat Carroll          [Apr 15, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Horror/Scary :: Dark :: Supernatural
*Penr* Details: Hello! This is my first attempt at prose poetry, a genre I adore. It's a horror/supernatural poem about creation, monsters, and something from within that engulfs us... Please let me know about its strengths and weaknesses :). Thanks!
  [Poetry]

 
STATIC
A Life of its Own  (13+)
A prose poem which tells of something born from within that engulfs everything...
#2271303 by Cat Carroll



*Penbl* Author: Larisa McGrath          [Apr 15, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Teen :: Young Adult :: Women's
*Penr* Details: If this first chapter is not a good hook, what can I do to change that? What would inspire you all to keep reading? What do you expect to see in a solid first chapter? I feel like something is missing, but cannot put my finger on what. Please help.
  [Draft]

Lycan Wood  (13+)
One injury can change your life forever.
#2271336 by Larisa McGrath



*Penbl* Author: jonnigrl1          [Apr 7, 2022]
*BookStack3* Genre(s): Contest :: Dark :: Entertainment
*Penr* Details: An honest review would be very much appreciated. Thank you!
  [Fiction]

 Conversing With The Dead  (13+)
A young man gets a startling, upsetting phone call.
#2180079 by jonnigrl1



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