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The life and weirdness of Kim |
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Who is Kim? Heck, I don't know, but I am trying to figure it out. For the important facts, see: "Invalid Entry" 
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| that supplies a woman with three orgasms has to be a good night, no? Damn good night, thank you very much. It ended late, but I don't think I really noticed that it was 4AM until I hung up and reentered this world. Still wasn't settled enough in um... that way until the third one left me pretty spent and I finally was able to sleep.  Then the kennel help freaked me out by walking into the house, waking me up at 8AM. She didn't say a word, just walked around freaking me out. I called "Hello" four times to no answer but for the deafening barking of the mutts. By the time I called the fifth time, I was nearly screaming and my hand was reaching for the 911 speed dial on the phone. There is only one advantage to living with 30 dogs... no one sneaks into this place. We are virtually burgular-proof. But, rude awakening aside... *sigh* It was worth the 3 1/2 hours of sleep.  |
*Kim tears up* Yep, my fella... such a sweetie... joined the site tonight. Taking an interest in the monstrosity that takes up so much of my life.  Bad site! Bad Bad site! But, yep, in a couple of weeks, wdc will have to take a back seat to the man himself. hee hee... ain't that just terrible....See... I am a giddy willow tonight... |
| An excellent daughter. Supportive and willing to make endless sacrifices for my mother. Even if I am also occassionally cranky because so much is asked of me, I never stop giving. I am forgiving of my father. No matter what the hurt, I eventually always find a way to forgive it to offer him another opportunity to be the father I need. I am a good sister. Loving, willing to listen and advise when asked, but I also can give my brother room to figure things out on his own if needed. I am a spectatcular aunt. Caleb and I connect on a very deep level. He never cries when I hold him. He and I can sit and chat for hours. In fact, my brother says that since Caleb and I hung out, Caleb hasn't stopped talking. He's a great little boy, and far too cute for his own good. |
| Nearly everyone who knows me knows that my favorite TV show of all time is Babylon 5. Excellent show... I highly recommend it. One of the reasons I like it so much is that the writing is very intelligent and has a great deal of spiritual wisdom behind it. Well, yesterday I had the third season on while I was painting, and I heard a line that I know I have heard at least ten times before, but this time I really heard it. "I have spent my whole life defining myself by what I wasn't instead of what I was. When you do that, you miss the moments." Stephen Franklin, Babylon 5 We all do it to one extent or another. I know I do. I am not thin, I am not sexy. And the list goes on. When someone tells me that I am a talented writer, I say, 'Thanks, but I am not as talented as...' So, I am going to make an intensive effort to define myself by what I am. I am smart. I am funny. I am a talented writer and artist. I am loving and giving, and I am loyal to a fault. I am honest, but I temper that with kindness. I think of others before myself. I am creative and unique, and a free-thinker in the best sense of the word. I am a free spirit, independent, and yet have a keen sense of social justice. Yerp, the person who ends his days by wrapping himself around me... damn he's a lucky guy. |
| Hee hee... On October 8th at about 9 AM I will be peeling out of the car rental place and heading south. Yerp, the plans are set and I am on my way to Georgia. Feels good. And ah... the plans... hee hee |
| Okay, when I came back from my trip, I was a wreck. I hated being here, I hated the fact that I had spent the whole trip bummed out because of one bad incident. I hated the fact that I had let the incident happen at all. The incident also took me back to an unhappy place I haven't visited in a long time... the dark hole where the abuse and rape victim lived when I was much younger. Now, that isn't what happened, not at all, but it took me back to that sexually vulnerable place. For a couple of weeks I was in a very unhappy place, but then suddenly, as happens with all my revelations... I realized the lesson. And now, I am fine... in fact, other than feeling a little more vulnerable and doubtful than before, I feel better, stronger and a little more ugliness from my past is dealt with. But this pattern of having to dig stuff out, feel the pain of it, and then learn the lesson from the pain doesn't mean that I am unstable, does it? Yes, it means my emotions go up and down, but does that render me unable to maintain a relationship with someone? Because, if it does... I will never be ready to have a relationship with someone. LOL It has taken me twenty years to get where I am now, and I don't think I will ever be at a place where I don't feel the lows... at a place where there is no more garbage to dredge up. Something I never do is let my stuff effect the people in my life. My family has no idea of the stuff I have been facing. To them, I have just been a little more cranky on the odd occassion, but no worse than I am when I have to take my hormones. The only people who know what has been going on with me are the people I choose to let in on it. I know that I can live on my own forever and be fine. I've been doing it for 20 years. But, I also know that I can be a good partner in a relationship, even a good parent if it comes to that. No... a great one. I am not a bad risk. |
| when there is 1200 miles between you and the other person? Was feeling a little down tonight because of a conversation I was having with someone who sometimes sees me too clearly and sometimes, I wonder if they see me at all. Anyway... Needed a hug and (((hug))) just doesn't cut it. Nope, not at all. Long distance relationships suck. When someone says I luv ya... it would be nice to actually be there to hear his voice and see the smile in his eyes... to be able to wrap my arms around him and feel that strong, almost lung crushing bear grip. To sit next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder, and feel him shake underneath me when he laughs... Four weeks, and hopefully this time we won't both be so shy as to wait the whole week or so away before hugging. LOL No, I won't let that happen. This time, he gets greeted with a kiss... We left off there, it is only right that we start there. |
| Okay okay, I know ... I don't do entries for days, and then do three in one day... what can I say? Spent the night basically talking dirty in French with the help of the babelfish translation page. Some of the things that he sent made me laugh until I nearly peed myself because the translation page makes weird assumptions about the usage of some words. Like: Quoique le frottement retentisse gentil, vous avez prétendu avoir une bouche douée. Je peux ai besoin de la preuve de cela. which came back: Though friction resounds nice, you claimed to have a gifted mouth. I can need the proof of that. AND that was the good version. The version that used gifted tongue came back saying something about language... HA!!! Cracks me up! |
| Hee hee. When we first started talking four months ago, there were awkward gaps of silence. Now the gaps are comfortable ones. I can sit there and listen to him do whatever and not worry about having to fill the time with idle chat. I love that. So, right after Thanksgiving... the Canadian version... I am off to the warm south. Awesome! |
| Tonight I am calling Mi Amour... our scheduled call. I am going to sit out on the deck under the stars, in the cool night air, and let that accent do its thing. LOL It's been over a week since we talked via phone. It's weird how our memories work. See, having first communicated with him via IM, I created a voice for him in my head. Then, when I started talking to him on the phone, I heard his real voice, but the two do battle in my head. Just like the man I saw in my head from his pictures, and the one I know from having dated? and stayed with him. They flash back and forth... the predominant one being the made up fellow. How weird is that? I have to remind myself that his smile is charmingly boyish rather than the one I invented. Ah well, tonight his hint of accent will be the real deal, and in a few short weeks, so will the smile and the strong bear hugs that he favors because he says they leave his hands free to wander. Not that they have of course. He's a gentleman above all else... even opens all my doors and ushers me into the car... He carries an umbrella for me when it rains, how charming is that? ROFL. But now, I must work. WORK! Concentrate! |
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Congrats, Kim! Glad to hear your wedding went well. I wish you a wonderful marriage and lots of love for the both of you. 
